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This morning started with one of those battles that only someone trying to quit can truly understand. I woke up to strong cravings—like an alarm going off in my brain shouting, “Hey, it’s time for your morning cigarette!” Instead, I rolled over and went back to sleep. Sometimes, unconsciousness is the best nicotine replacement. When I finally did get up, I reached for a bottle of Mountain Dew to distract myself. It worked… but now I’m queasy and buzzing on caffeine instead of nicotine. The day has been filled with these little internal interruptions—this persistent voice whispering, “Go outside and...

Today marks my second day without smoking. That might not sound like much to some people, but for me, it’s a milestone — the longest I’ve gone outside of a crisis center. I had big plans for the day, even thought about blogging early on, but life had other plans. Instead, I spent most of the day relaxing with my mom — and honestly, that was exactly what I needed. We even had steak together, which felt like a celebration in itself. I have a lot of projects in motion and plenty of goals ahead, but I also know the...

Today I checked my email and saw a notice to register for the LA Times Festival of Books. My heart jumped—this is the big one, the holy grail of book events for an author like me. Then I saw the price tag: $1,300. Reality hit hard. I asked my family for help, but it was understandably too much to ask. At first, I felt defeated. Then I remembered something important: I already have $400 in savings. If I stop spending on things that don’t serve me—DoorDash, impulsive social media ads, and the big one—cigarettes—I could save the rest in just...

Once we’ve quit—or even when we’re in the process of quitting—we face temptation and frustration around relapse. Nearly every addiction works this way. But here’s an interesting point: relapse usually isn’t random. It’s not like you just mindlessly pick up a cigarette. No, most of the time, there’s thought behind it. There’s planning. I learned this the hard way. Around this time last year, I was in a crisis center where smoking was strictly forbidden. It was an open facility, which meant we could walk off the grounds whenever we wanted. The rule was clear: if you got caught smoking,...

So while Mom was caring for me during my cancer treatment, My trouble making sister-in-law, Roz, called the police and tried to have me arrested for violating a restraining order. The irony? I was still in the hospital. Mom was upset — deeply upset — and canceled a dinner with Roz to let her know that what she did wasn’t okay. What did Roz do next? She threw a tantrum. She threatened to call the police on me again and pulled my sister, Cindy, into it. Cindy called Mom and chewed her out, defending Roz like I was the villain....