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My Smoker’s Journal: Turning Ashes into Ambition So, if I end up in a group home, there’s going to be a lot of smoking around me. This is going to be really hard, but not impossible. Knowing you’ll help me with transportation to Comic-Con is a big motivator. I’m thinking about all the time and effort I waste smoking—and how I can flip that into making art and writing books. I’m not going to say “no promises” because that’s weak and, honestly, chicken shit. I’ll keep you posted on my struggles, but I’m determined to go from smoke-free to building...

You just don’t get it! You don’t understand the spirit of the artist. You might know what you like, what sells, and what works for you as a promoter—but you’re missing the essence, the heart of what makes art art. You’ve got your acid test: “Do I like it? Do I think it’s good? Does it send an important message?” Sure, those questions are part of the equation, but there’s so much more. When you promote art, it’s not just about whether it checks the boxes or fits into some mold. You can love a message or a style, but...

"Uh, I said none of this."Those were the words I got tonight, and they struck me deep. Michael, you're still trying to clarify things, saying you never saw me as dangerous, never thought I was a monster. That’s a relief to hear. You mentioned being hazy about past events, unsure about some of the things that happened, but you reaffirmed that there was never any ill will. You even reminded me that you supported me, even when I wasn’t allowed in the colony. Ultimately, I was invited back. So why does it still feel like there’s a rift? You ended...

The hardest part in all of this, Michael, is how you and Baxter keep justifying the harm you’ve done to me. Abuse has been a running theme in my life, and when it comes from those I once trusted, it cuts even deeper. You know how much that kind of behavior hurts me, yet you continue to stand by it. I let you back in. You were there for the colony’s last show. You had a table. You were IN! And yet, here we are, back at square one, with no resolution in sight. Do you see how I do...

In an effort to mend fences and move forward, I’m reaching out to suggest an article for Saskia, the editor of The Observer. This piece will be a collaboration—your thoughts, my reflections, and Bonkers’ unique voice to pull it all together. Here’s the plan: send me your notes, jot down some nice things you'd like to say, and even your regrets about the impact you’ve had. It’s important to acknowledge the harm, but we can’t dwell on apologies when, perhaps, none of us felt we did anything wrong. I’ll be honest—my blogging and online presence have been, at times, reckless....