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Tough Love Actually Believes You Help People By Not Helping Them: The Unintended Harm of a Popular Approach
Posted by Dan Joyce on
Tough love—a term that implies showing affection by setting strict limits and enforcing discipline—has become a popular approach in various aspects of life, from parenting to addiction treatment. On the surface, it seems like a pragmatic strategy for fostering growth and responsibility. However, a closer examination reveals that this approach can lead to significant unintended harm, including increased risks of death and crime. The Philosophy of Tough Love At its core, tough love is built on the premise that people need to face harsh realities to change their behavior. This philosophy advocates for letting individuals experience the natural consequences of...
Drug Court: When “Keep Coming Back” Became “Snitches Get Stitches”
Posted by Dan Joyce on
For decades, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has been a haven for people voluntarily seeking help with alcohol and addiction issues. It’s been a spiritual refuge, offering support, community, and a sense of accountability for those who want to turn their lives around. The motto “Keep Coming Back” wasn’t just a catchphrase—it was a lifeline for many struggling with addiction. But things have changed. Now, thanks to drug courts and court-mandated AA participation, this spiritual sanctuary has taken on a darker tone, one more closely associated with the criminal justice system than with recovery. What was once a voluntary community for personal...
My PenPal Pastor - Saturday Night Sermon
Posted by Dan Joyce on
This Saturday night was anything but ordinary. It started with a near altercation at the house, which had me rattled. Instead of engaging in the chaos, I made a conscious choice to rise above it and head to the Saturday night church service. I showered, put on my best clothes, and someone even handed me a bus pass as if to affirm that I was making the right decision. But what happened next? Well, let’s just say it wasn’t the evening I expected. The disturbance at home still had me on edge, so when I got to church, I was...
My PenPal Pastor – Why My Books Won’t Work at The Rock Church
Posted by Dan Joyce on
I’ve come to a realization—one that’s both painful and oddly satisfying at the same time. Pastor Jerry has said it before, and I hate to admit it, but he’s right. My books won’t work at The Rock church. It’s not that my writing isn’t good or that my message isn’t valuable. It’s simply because I’m not a church-selling author. My style, my approach—well, it’s a bit more grassroots, maybe even a little gritty. I do bookstores, coffeehouses, book signings—places where people come to browse, sip a latte, and have a chat. It’s personal, interactive, and, let’s face it, a little...
My PenPal Pastor – Pastor Donald
Posted by Dan Joyce on
When I first met Pastor Donald over the phone, he struck me as an immediately likable guy. You know the type—laughs at all your jokes, takes a genuine interest in your life, and actually listens when you're describing yourself. A real How to Win Friends and Influence People kind of guy. It didn’t feel like a conversation you typically have with someone you’re meeting for the first time—there was warmth, a certain connection. But, of course, when it was all said and done, he insisted on prayer. Now, it’s not that I’m against prayer. Quite the opposite. But it’s just...