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If you’ve been following my journey, you know quitting smoking isn’t just about nicotine withdrawal—it’s about mindset. My friend Jacki O is big on positive thinking, and I’ve got to hand it to her… she might be onto something. A few months ago, I had to take a break from social media. Years of negative posts, arguments, and venting had thrown my algorithm into the gutter. Nothing was getting traction, no one saw my art or my books, and my site visits flatlined. I wasn’t shadow-banned—I was shadow-banning myself with negativity. So I made a decision: turn the page. I...

This morning the cravings came back strong—strong enough to make me step outside, sit in the sun, and start plotting my next cigarette like a mastermind. If I could just find a sneaky way to do it… a secret puff… a hidden drag… something nobody will know about. But who am I fooling? I’m not a nine-year-old raiding the cookie jar anymore. There’s no innocent thrill here. I’d be plotting a plan of action to use an addictive drug that has already tried to kill me. There’s a difference between harmless temptation and self-destruction, and today I was walking the...

Today marks 50 days without smoking—and it also happens to be Thanksgiving. A double celebration, at least in theory. I’ve quit alcohol, I’ve quit drugs, and now it’s been nearly two months without cigarettes. My family has seen so many versions of me that my “milestones” don’t usually earn applause or parades. That’s okay. The real celebration is internal—what I know I’ve endured, what I’ve stayed strong against, and what I’m building for myself. I did, however, get a little heated at the dinner table talking politics. Nothing like a Thanksgiving debate to make the turkey taste like regret. Still,...

Today was one of those days where life tries to remind you that caring for something fragile is both terrifying and rewarding. I was playing with the kitten, Whiskey, and she slipped right out of sight. One second she was bouncing around the living room like a little cartoon character… the next, gone. Vanished. I was terrified she might somehow get outside, or get stuck behind something, or get stepped on. She’s so tiny and frail that she feels like she could break from the wrong look, let alone an accident. We put so much time and money into making...

Today was a day of errands and little victories. Mom and I went to the clinic to get my medicine—one of those routine tasks that doesn’t feel routine when you’re trying to hold your life together. After that, we stopped by PetSmart to pick up supplies for the new kitten. Then I treated myself to a spicy chicken sandwich at Chick-fil-A, because quitting smoking doesn’t mean I can’t have a little joy. The kitten is still learning the house. At first, we let her roam only a few minutes at a time. Now we’re slowly increasing her freedom—longer periods of...