The unlikely prophet – Dan Joyce art

The unlikely prophet

Posted by Dan Joyce on



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    1. The Unlikely Prophet
    2. by Dan Joyce
    3. Captions for graphic novel
    4. ©2022


    1. Journaling is a great form of literature. So long as you’re living, you have material to work with...


    1. People treat us differently and they think it’s ok. It really is ok according to society. I mean it’s wrong to pick on other people for being black or female or gay, but they think it’s ok to pick on us. You’d really like us if you met us, me and my friends in the mental health system. We’re a lot of fun and we tell funny jokes about it, us being crazy and all. We laugh at the silly things we do when we get sick or just funny thoughts that we get thinking different and all. We talk to each other to help each other out. But you won’t see us that often. We kinda get segregated, cast out of society. All other minority groups have been fought for—black people, women, gays, but not us. They have separate homes for us and places for us even away from our family. They keep us apart and put us away. Everybody gets a fair shot at equality, but not us. 


    1. I look at the flag, the American flag with fifty stars and thirteen stripes. That someday I see and someday I might understand the brutal fight. The blood so red that shed from the dead that someday freedom reigns. Do we really know? Do we really believe that we are all basically the same? Were the founders true and the founders through with all this ill in the world. The complex Hell we know so well for every boy and girl. Or is it that they just wrote well? What did they mean for us to learn? I sit at home, I have no home, forever I must roam. Oh can’t you tell me, Democracy, did you ever foresee, a me?


    1. The house manager says he has money and food and I don’t, because he has Jesus. I said I read the gospels, Jesus didn’t seem to like money. He said I can’t know this because I’m an atheist. I said I can read. The people of wealth in the time of Christ were the romans and the pharisees, the corrupt jews and very sinful people. The irony of the pharisees was that they knew the scriptures so well and thought they knew God so well, they couldn’t recognize Him when He looked them in the eyes.  Something to think about Christians.


    1. Jenny made me go to confession and admit I saw a stripper. He asked if it was a red thong or a black one. I said red. He said, You poor thing! We lost two pastors to those last year!!!


    1. I'll believe in Christ when you can act like you're a Christian.
    2. The Magdalene 


    1. Seven demons sold my soul
    2. Then our good Lord made me whole.
    3. I walked with him hand-in-hand.
    4. As He spoke of the promised land.


    1. His price he paid he spoke so free 
    2. of salvation come to be
    3. Through the hills and valleys I did see
    4. he fulfilled the prophecy 


    1. I was a sinner of the fruit 
    2. some call me a prostitute
    3. I am not a woman you might know
    4. Or would think to know the truth


    1. He spoke of life after we die
    2. I was the first to see him rise
    3. Yet on earth he spoke of love
    4. From our heavens up above


    1. I cannot tell you who I was
    2. In present times I’d have been hooked on drugs
    3. Some have a past A sinful story 
    4. As with I the Magdalene





    1. I've never had a home. Just when I was young, but my family said I couldn't live there because of the will. Dad didn't love me. 


    1. I was never called crazy in college. 


    1. What is God? Where is God? Watching us? He's just letting us run amok! I think He's getting a kick out of all of this! 


    1. Bathsheba


    1. In ancient Jewish mythology
    2. You saw me bathing lustfully
    3. Soon to commit adultery
    4. And murder of my man


    1. So the two of us were one
    2. And I gave birth to Solomon
    3. From such a tragic play to be
    4. Solomon’s reign as king


    1. And then the prophet Nathan foretold
    2. The lack of peace within our home
    3. For all bad deeds we did were known
    4. Within the prophesy


    1. It is I who reigns now as the queen
    2. As God has made this come to be
    3. But loss of love and tragedy
    4. Whatever shall I be?


    1. That love and lust can be as one
    2. Whatever is and shall be done
    3. Think not of glory now my son
    4. The kingdom shall be mine
    5. We are given this rare and beautiful gift of life, but it is sad that we often have to endure it and not enjoy it. 


    1. I'm realizing that I can't be friends with everybody. There are some rotten people in this world and they're easy to meet. 


    1. I’m now undertaking another risk to financial security. If I fail, my mother will sanction me severely. If I succeed, she won't care. 


    1. My book will be launched to the mainstream media in May. Until then, I'm just waiting... the silence before the storm. 


    1. Don't worry about fitting in. There's a lot of bad people in the world. You're not the only one. 


    1. Thank you for listening to PSYCHO RADIO! It's 4am, do you know where your antidepressants are???? 


    1. To those who claim a spiritual awakening, I've been there. If it really was God, you'll find out. 


    1. The problem with the psychiatric system is that when you want to kill yourself, they take away everything worth living for. 


    1. The United States Constitution is 21 pages long with 176,000 pages of interpretation. 


    1. I was just told by my best friend to get out of my head. I told him I can't do it. I'm stuck there. 


    1. It's hard to explain suicidal ideations to people when you're still alive. 


    1. Kristi never forgave me. I wanted to make amends and set things right. That’s the AA thing. But the Christian thing is to judge, Heaven or Hell. So we know where I’m going according to Kristi.


    1. I think God has a purpose for me. He just forgot to tell me.


    1. Many people have given me chances in this life. But they often wait skeptically for me to make a mistake.


    1. I once dreamt that the whole of my life was from the ocean and that my body was created by land. Knowing solitude, as any man does, I lived in Paradise alone. I asked a further entity that I should not be alone and He took from my body, woman. That I should not know Paradise alone. But woman and I rebelled and broke the rule of Paradise, cast out, never to return. We were sad. We live hard lives. Yet now and again, I gaze at the stars, look at the ocean or watch a child grow and I see that there is still within the world the possibility he had meant it to be for us, in Paradise.


    1. I'm going to have to fall back on my writing because I can't draw as well because of the meds. I have to take them to get better.


    1. I believe strongly in Christianity from the viewpoint of mythology.


    1. If it ever came to the point that art was something just anybody could do, how beautiful would that be? A world of artists.


    1. I wonder what my life would've been like without AA. I could've married, had a family, but I was different, I live a different life.


    1. One of the downfalls of being intelligent is that you remember things for a long time... and some things you never forget.


    1. We were friends at one time. I guess I didn't meet up to your high standards. Does anybody?


    1. I don't have the higher moral psychology that those convicts in AA have.


    1. Stephen the First Martyr


    1. They stoned me hard against a wall
    2. As Saul he looked at me
    3. A pleasant gaze as he behaved
    4. Approving joyfully


    1. I died that day Stephen the saint
    2. The first Christian to go
    3. Against the Roman ridicule
    4. How far how deep how low


    1. Saul fell off his horse with no remorse
    2. Until he saw our Lord
    3. Then traveled far amongst the stars
    4. As if he were at war


    1. He preached and praised in coming days
    2. And Paul became his name
    3. The great apostle Laureate 
    4. His letters were the way


    1. He talked to God he heard the Christ
    2. Or so the many say
    3. Of what we know of what we’re told
    4. That is the Christian way


    1. And so to you I denounced the Jews
    2. And Saul killed me that day
    3. And as for Paul who was to come
    4. He martyred me a saint


    1. You have to be aware of your audience. You can't just create. So I bounce things off of people. Like this one…


    1. Sometimes it feels wrong to be right. When you're the only one who feels that way.


    1. The unlikely prophet doesn't believe in God. He's insane. So he doesn't really know.


    1. If I'm young at heart, why do I have to take heart medicine?


    1. When you meet an attractive young woman who seems interested in you, do you ever feel like you're a hazing for a sorority pledge?


    1. My goal in therapy is to write a wonderful book. Then, I'll find the girl of my dreams... one that reads. Dumb girls? No...


    1. I don't come up with excuses, I have reasons. Learn the difference. It starts with your attitude.


    1. Some guys like dumb girls. That's ‘cause they don't argue so much.


    1. Have you ever dated a woman who has no sense of humor? I'll give you the punchline, "Waiter! Check Please!"


    1. I went to work for a regular job as a janitor, but I had an episode. By the time they were done with me, I was damned near hearing voices.


    1. Amy I'm starting a new book called, the unlikely prophet. Will you be my writing partner? I promise that this time the book won't be about you.
    2. The Baptist


    1. I lived in the desert, the wilderness
    2. With camel hair for my clothes
    3. To bless our world in such a mess
    4. Whoever comes and goes


    1. To baptize the man, the God on earth
    2. I didn’t really feel worthy
    3. I held his head and submerged him
    4. Into the river Jordan


    1. A dove came down from the bluest sky
    2. It was the Holy Spirit
    3. I knew right then for him and I
    4. We’re blessed then with salvation


    1. I lost my life I lost my head
    2. To a dance of Salome
    3. The daughter of the king Harod
    4. In my very last days


    1. It’s true my life had great meaning
    2. And a purpose blessed by God
    3. To be with him in morality
    4. Before suffering on the cross


    1. So I tell you seek him out
    2. If you desire saving
    3. As I have blessed such a crowd
    4. Who wish to find life’s meaning
    5. Yes, I tell you seek him out


    1. My friend for life is a linguist. He says words vary based on the context and situation. Word!


    1. On the road to Damascus, Saint Paul the apostle saw a blinding light, fell off his horse and started seeing and talking to God. I think he hit his head when he fell off the horse.


    1. The unlikely prophet rides the bus, sits on the bus stop and preaches the blessings of life.


    1. If you donate a dollar to the church, God will pay you back tenfold. No thanks, I just did that with a lottery ticket.


    1. Why are all the board members of a nonprofit organization so financially secure?


    1. Don't blame the nation’s problems on the college students. It's not like the republicans are giving us jobs.


    1. Drinking for me is like Pascal's wager. If AA is right, I lose my job, my home, maybe incarceration. If moderation wins, I get a beer.


    1. The unlikely prophet smokes and drinks, does what he wants, says what he thinks.


    1. I told my psychiatrist that I am paranoid, but then he clarified that I'm not.


    1. Being a mental health advocate through the arts, I know much about treatment because I lived it. As a result I’ve been in many places, hospitals, government homes and institutions. Places you probably wouldn’t want to go or be. I’ve spent most of my life incarcerated that way. Now things have changed and I have more, but I often don’t know how to handle it. I’ll be in a grocery store buying milk and looking at the other customers, everyday people doing everyday things. I’ll wonder if they know about me or if they did would they want to and feel alienated in the store. And I’ll look at the candy at the side of the checkstand trying to decide if I want a Nestles Crunch or an Almond Joy and I’ll remember when I couldn’t do that. And I’ll take a deep breath, say a quick prayer and thank God for my freedom.


    1. The unlikely prophet cannot sing, but he's the grand poet, the philosopher king.
    2. Mary


    1. I was to birth a child
    2. Of the Lord our God
    3. A boy who will save many
    4. In holy destiny


    1. We found him in the temple
    2. His preaching going on
    3. Then later He was baptized
    4. By His cousin John


    1. His talent was divine
    2. Turning water into wine
    3. And healing all disease
    4. With love and grace and ease


    1. They killed Him, He was crucified
    2. In such a painful fate
    3. To save us all from our own ways
    4. To believe in Him and be saved


    1. Some say that I’m immaculate
    2. A woman without sin
    3. But only from my blessed task
    4. To carry Him within


    1. It's sad that I write more than I read. Kinda like I talk more than I listen. It is a true weakness.


    1. You’re from New York? That explains a lot.


    1. If I get a couple steaks for us, can you grill them? And can you cook them as good as Roger? I’m not talking to him right now.


    1. They restrict your caffeine and nicotine in the psyche ward. Then when you get out, you go haywire.


    1. The viewing is the final act of creation. You become part of the process. I share with you and make it your art too. That's what makes it fun.


    1. You’re never going to get me to like living with convicts more than I like living with the mentally ill. The mentally ill are my people. Convicts? There’s a home for them.


    1. If the legal system can't provide services required by the United States Constitution, because there's too many people, then they are arresting too many people.


    1. There's a war going on and I'm not paying attention to it. I've got my own shit to deal with.


    1. Life goes on whether you hear voices or not.


    1. Don't know who the IIluminati are. Don't know if they exist. If they do, they're pretty weird. I don't want to hang out with them.


    1. You're sensitive and that's a good trait. Unless you're getting your feelings hurt and I don't know why.


    1. The unlikely prophet has a dream, a kinder world than whatever it seems.


    1. The unlikely prophet has a past. If you ever knew it, then he wouldn't last.


    1. I do understand shallow minds. They're easy to understand. They don't think much.


    1. I'm not trying to say I'm a better person than you. But if you say you're a better person than me, I might argue with that.


    1. Maybe take a course in remedial logic. You will meet a lot of people and find things in common.


    1. Rules that are unenforced will be broken.


    1. The secret to writing a good graphic novel is to wake up, have coffee, draw and write. Don’t wait for a divine cloud shaking experience for an inspiration.


    1. In business I always expect the worst and plan for it.
    2. The Miracle Son of Abraham


    1. They birthed me when she was ninety
    2. My mother and my dad
    3. When hearing this strange prophecy
    4. The two could only laugh


    1. He took me to the mountain top
    2. The miracle son of Abraham
    3. And tied me up and held a knife
    4. To sacrifice like a lamb


    1. It was a test of father’s faith
    2. He sadly took it as my fate
    3. But God He stopped him not too late
    4. And my legacy so great


    1. What is the purpose of this poem?
    2. Or does it make sense at all?
    3. Would God really want us to slaughter a child
    4. Because we think we’ve heard his call?


    1. Pills are solid alcohol! Someone in AA told me that... so it must be true!


    1. The unlikely prophet is just a regular guy. Works at the marketplace just getting by.


    1. Maybe you are blessed and gifted by God. Oh, that's a delusion I need to go on. Sure!


    1. You gave me a second chance. I hope you're not regretting it.


    1. I take psychiatric medicine for other things you don't see. Things that don't make sense.


    1. If you don't understand, don't worry! That's what the psych meds are for.


    1. If anyone in the house has a Coke can you share one? I don't want to go to the 7/11. It's a rough neighborhood in front of the 7/11.


    1. I almost gave you a $1000 lottery ticket, but I picked the wrong one.


    1. The unlikely prophet likes to swear. Says it out loud to anyone there.


    1. Do you sleep in your clothes?
    2. No I wear lingerie, but you should see the woman it fits.


    1. You think it's in your American rights to insult me. It probably is, but expect the judge to understand what happened.


    1. You can believe what you want to believe in this country. But we have the right to tell you you're wrong.


    1. Now for a word from your sponsor. Calvin Klein - Stupidity for men.


    1. The unlikely prophet sees the world a better place for boys and girls.


    1. Britney Spears was under conservatorship by her father who took her money for 13 years. Britney was just dancing and getting half-naked for nothing.


    1. The unlikely prophet wants to spread love just like the heavenly up above.


    1. The unlikely prophet can still have sex with his new girlfriend, but not with his ex.


    1. You seem to know a lot about things you don't know about, like psychology, medicine, science, economics, politics, mathematics, logic and basically anything you have to read about in a schoolbook.


    1. Psychiatric medicines clarify my thoughts. Illicit drugs distort them.


    1. People have a hard time putting me in my place. I don't have one.


    1. Not every guy wants to lead every dance. So if you want a guy to tell you what to do all the time, date a cop!


    1. They say you can't change the world, but I'm damned well going to try.


    1. I've always admired your sense of charity. In fact the last time I saw you, you were at the food bank handing out food and I was eating it.


    1. The unlikely prophet doesn't shave. Takes after Jesus and his hairy face.


    1. The secret of success is to make yourself important, then convince others of it.


    1. The unlikely prophet stays up at night hallucinating visions in the dark light.


    1. If you're on your way home and you stop to silence every barking dog, you'll never make it home.


    1. The unlikely prophet has a keen sense of right and wrong. However, he never repents.


    1. Down by the beach against the wall the unlikely prophet speaks to us all.


    1. Religion and politics aren't his thing. The unlikely prophet loves to sing.


    1. In The Parable of the Talents, what would've happened if one of the servants invested and lost the money?


    1. You're praying for everyone else to behave how you want them to. I don't think that's how it works.


    1. You may think it strange, you may find it odd. The unlikely prophet has no God.


    1. My family seems to feel that since I can't afford a lawyer, they can all behave like criminals.


    1. A lot of people promote pot in this online mental health group. That's what I was referring to when I spoke out against that. If you didn't understand that, maybe you should cut back.


    1. The beautiful thing about getting old is all the memories. I hope I don't get Alzheimer's. That would defeat the purpose.


    1. The unlikely prophet has no car, but he'll come to visit wherever you are.


    1. Nelson Mandela overthrew a country from within the walls of a prison. Even Houdini couldn't do that.


    1. The unlikely prophet has no friends who will stand by him until the end.


    1. Police shows are inaccurate. In real life they interrogate the victim more often than the actual suspects.


    1. We're trapped in this mind, in this subjective perception, that only sees things from our point of view and only what we know and perceive, but never the absolute. God kinda made a mistake there.


    1. I don't believe in AA, everything it says and preaches. I'm very intelligent and AA isn't.


    1. My roommate wants to give me fifty cents for each cigarette. I tell him they're worth more because of supply and demand and I have very few. He tells me college never got me anything. Well, it got me cigarettes.


    1. Britney Spears doesn't have to say anything to make a statement about mental health awareness. It's beautiful what she's doing. She says what I feel. I do it with my art and get people talking about mental health awareness. All Britney has to do is sing and dance and she says important things.


    1. The most persuasive arguments prove to you what you already know.


    1. In a separate existence you cannot see, the unlikely prophet was born out of me.


    1. You can be incarcerated before you’re convicted, and you’ll do anything to get out. They forgot that in the Constitution.


    1. I don’t like the sound of my name. Usually, people use it in poor light.


    1. It takes the punch out of a joke when you have to explain it.


    1. I’m a professional fine artist, but the medicine makes my hand shake terribly. I have to take it to cure my depression.


    1. Stop blaming other people for hurting you. Start blaming yourself! It’s your fault, I have to do this to you! I’m just your mother!
    2. I want to talk to my therapist. He says to talk to him. It’s all part of the therapeutic relationship. Is he in another meeting or should I leave another message on his phone?


    1. Despite his reactionary politics, Tucker Carlson is kind of a neat guy. He’s likable. But, I would be more likely to like him than the other way around.


    1. If you can’t tell, this is just another dissertation on mental health awareness. Today’s topic is Britney Spears.


    1. The courts finally got Britney’s money away from her father who hardly knew her. She was raised by Disney.



    1. Mentally Ill people can still be very smart. I may be annoying, but you’re dealing with no dummy.


    1. Although she’s very beautiful, I’m more interested in Britney Spears for her mind. Crazy as it seems. 
    2. My main complaint with the 12 step programs is the way they handle mental illness. They make us worse with their bullshit spiritual psychology, archaic opposition to medicine and therapy and basically anything promoting positive mental health at all. No wonder they have such a high suicide rate!


    1. Although they’re anonymous, you always somehow have to deal with 12 step people. You can’t hide from them.


    1. If you can’t tell, Britney Spears is hypersexual. When she gets manic, she wants to have a lot of sex. Which is ok. Unless you don’t use protection and get pregnant all the time. 
    2. I want to try eharmony, but I already know what type of woman I want, Britney Spears. 
    3. I will no longer be listening to you. You had your chance to say a lot of things and you did.


    1. I first got into Britney Spears when she angrily went after the paparazzi with her song Piece of Me. I want a piece of her too.


    1. Comic book illustrators are artists too. It’s very difficult to draw Spiderman and such. Art doesn’t have to be meaningful and moving.
    2. Love and Relationships Group-
      1. What does love look like to you, Dan?
      2. Britney Spears


    1. Because she’s beautiful and famous, Britney is able to do things I can’t. I will never be beautiful and famous. At least, not until I get my teeth.


    1. It’s easy to see why the Christians hailed Donald Trump. The Christian Right are basically one issue voters, abortion, and he was going to outlaw it.


    1. I've heard guys call Britney Spears, the most beautiful woman in the world. I think my mother can be prettier. I realized my mother is very beautiful after a friend in high school said it. Stu wouldn’t fake a compliment.


    1. Some people don't deserve anything, because they want everything and that's hard to deliver.


    1. I want to bring philosophy back to the entertainment industry. It's hard to get the deeper more complex message of X-men.


    1. It can be a problem that Britney is so sexual. Especially when her audience is little girls.


    1. I pander to my right wing audience by trying to relate to them. I have very little to go on.


    1. Tucker Carlson creates hypothetical questions with hypothetical answers. Eventually the whole scenario doesn't exist.


    1. It’s difficult to understand the mind of Britney Spears when she went manic. I guess it’s hard to be rich and famous.


    1. Meth makes you lose your teeth. People think I did meth, but I didn't brush them.


    1. If you do go to the mental health conference, there will be a lot of people in AA. Don't try to argue with them. It's hard to reason their way out of anything.


    1. You show stigma towards me, stereotyping me as some psycho you’ve seen in the movies, because you are unaware of it. Other times you’re just angry.


    1. People shame Britney’s mental illness because it weakens her. I think it makes her stronger.


    1. Ever since I decided to die and lived, nothing has surprised me. Jesus probably felt the same.


    1. It’s hard to make someone who hates you like you and it’s hard to make someone who likes you love you. Both are people to avoid.


    1. The unlikely prophet takes a chance, crosses the club and asks her to dance.


    1. Supported by the state, many say they wish they could get what I have. They can all get what I have with a lot more money to do it.


    1. There is no honor among thieves. But you gotta admit, some are craftier at it.


    1. Britney Spears dated almost all the famous heartthrobs. Makes me want to be famous.


    1. A lover who is owned won't belong to you.


    1. They claimed finding beautiful women for all the geeks on The Big Bang Theory made a sexist statement. I just think all the actors got horny.


    1. Male convicts often have beautiful wives or girlfriends. But usually, they miss them.


    1. I'm not controlling, I'm a psych patient. I get controlled.


    1. AA didn't like me to share in the meetings because of what I said. It's ok to see a doctor or therapist, it’s not your disease doing it.


    1. Getting relationship advice from me is a lot like getting relationship advice from Charlie Sheen. It can be expensive.


    1. A fool is known by his many words. A coward remains silent.


    1. I regret not speaking to you about love and relationships before. This is hilarious.


    1. I thought my cellmate was dumb, but he proved me wrong when he nearly had me killed. Never underestimate the mind of a psychopath.


    1. The unlikely prophet cares not about food, but the word of his people and everything good.


    1. I know I post and share a lot. They kicked me out of AA for talking too much too. I really didn't learn anything from them.


    1. Before writing my autobiography, I never realized how much AA stole my life... I'm sorry. It was a suggestion.


    1. I went to AA for years and I hated it. The only good thing I got out of it was sobriety. They can keep the rest.


    1. The 13th steppers in AA all asked me if I want what they have. I’m guessing an STD???


    1. The only ones in AA who are working the steps are doing it to make money. I've seen where they live.


    1. Let somebody else represent God. He'll be happier and you'll get more people.


    1. I first realized I was mentally ill when I saw a Van Gogh. The painting was balance of chaos and order, and that's the way we see the world: a controlled chaos.


    1. I understand the way the mentally ill think. It's not subjective. I've been to enough group therapy to know I'm not the only one.


    1. The unlikely prophet has to sleep, dreams in the dreamworld ever so deep.


    1. People think I'm crazy because I talk to myself. No! I'm crazy because I listen to myself.


    1. Psychiatric patients don't need to be so constricted and confined. I know because I'm one of them.


    1. I’ve been playing guitar and writing songs since I was 14 and I never stopped. That’s a musician, not a good musician, but a musician.


    1. Mike Joyce was appointed executor to the will and trust because you said he was fair. Since when is Mike fair, mom? Since he gave you all the money?


    1. They have to get a doctor's approval to strap you down and shoot you up, but they do it anyway. Never piss off a psyche nurse!


    1. All my mother has to do is share the money so I can eat and survive, but she wants to teach me a lesson.


    1. My therapist wrote to the state bar association requesting a pro bono attorney. I'm getting the help I need, mom.


    1. Being a devil's advocate doesn't mean you literally agree with the devil’s side.


    1. Do you know what you did? Of course, I know what I did. I’m the one that did it.


    1. In critical thinking the purpose of an argument is to arrive at the greatest possible truth, not just to win it.


    1. I got in Facebook jail for writing, “1st amendment freedom of speech,” then swearing.


    1. The doctor says I’m just bipolar and not schizophrenic, but we think it’s more.


    1. Today at the mental health center… If I change my gender identity can I go to women’s group?


    1. I’ll go to gay group, but I’m bisexual, so I’ll be looking at both people.


    1. The unlikely prophet talks in groups, as often as Warhol painted the soup.


    1. You had a lot of company policy, but the labor laws weren’t as many and you need to enforce them.


    1. I got kicked out of the mental health center today for telling inappropriate jokes.



    1. The unlikely prophet has regrets, things that he did that he never forgets.


    1. I'm sorry I bugged you. I do that a lot. Usually to women, but Hey Handsome...


    1. I never sold my soul to the devil, but it’s clear he had it at times.


    1. Bible Bloopers



    1. In the parable of the talents a king goes on a journey and leaves his property to his servants. Five talents to the first, two to second and one to the third. While the king is gone, the first servant invests his five talents and makes five more. The second servant does the same with his two talents making two more. But the last servant hides his in the ground knowing the king is harsh. When the king returns, he is pleased with the first two servants, but is angered by the last for being lazy and not making him any money. He throws him into the dungeon. This is interpreted to be a lesson on making use of the gifts God gives you, hence talents.
    2. But there was a fourth and final servant Matthew didn’t mention.
    3. “Who are you?”
      “I’m your servant, you gave me ten talents?”
    4. “Ten??? What did you do with them?”
    5. “I lost them.”
    6. “You lost my talents?”
    7. “Actually, thieves took them.”
    8. “You weren’t watching my talents and they were stolen?”
    9. “No, I got mugged.
    10. “Mugged? How can this be?”
    11. “They beat me up and took the money. You know, mugged!”
    12. “Where were you when this happened?”
    13. “I was in the tavern with the prostitutes.”
    14. “WHAT??? Why were you there???”
    15. “I made so much extra money on the talents, I thought I’d spend the night on the town with some wine and a little adult fun, but I really tied one over!”
    16. “So, who has my talents?”
    17. “Not really sure, my whole memory is blurry.”
      “So what are you saying? What have you to offer me?”
    18. “Not much, but I can give you the name and location of tavern where the prostitutes are.”
    19. “Deal!”
    20. … and the king was pleased.


    1. Joseph


    1. I was my father’s favorite
    2. And everyone showed envy
    3. So, my brothers then betrayed me
    4. And sold me into slavery


    1. To the tribe of Ishmael
    2. In Egypt I was imprisoned
    3. And had prophetic visions
    4. Of heaven and of hell


    1. I served for and become pharaoh
    2. My exploits you may know
    3. I struggled mightily
    4. In ways you all could see


    1. My brothers then approached me
    2. As I the Egyptian king
    3. Seeking for my father
    4. I had them bring him water


    1. And then the famine left
    2. Not knowing of their theft
    3. And all was good in the land
    4. As God gave me his hand


    1. So you see my story differently
    2. From all the glory you can see
    3. A tale of sibling rivalry
    4. And greatness come to be


    1. I’m gonna tell the boss! I’m gonna tell the manager! They’re not gonna do anything about it, but a report will be filed!


    1. People who make up their own God make up their own morals. What all bullshit does AA exactly make up?
    2. And what shall I say our Lord requesteth? More tithings, put more money in the basket, definitely more money! I know I’m Jesus and I’m not supposed to be into money, but I like it!
    3. I just keep writing. With or without you I'll still do it. It could be an addiction with few consequences.


    1. Apologizing isn't a bad thing if you're guilty.


    1. If you don’t like this, sue me! I don’t like money anyway. Jesus didn’t like it and it gets me in too much trouble.


    1. I hope that's not about me. But it has to be. Everything is about me. So keep talking...


    1. When you pick me up for our date, try to sneak in. You're hot! I'm gonna look like the coolest convict in the halfway house.


    1. I don't feel as pretty anymore. Yeah that's what happens when you get older. Everybody gets ugly.


    1. Mom prayed every day that I would quit smoking, then had me arrested when I tried to do it.


    1. You read a lot of white space into that contract.


    1. You have to be respectful. It's in the contract. And calling me a fucking crazy idiot isn't?


    1. It's not crazy logic. It's logic, you just don’t recognize


    1. The unlikely prophet has old shoes, all torn and tattered but still there's two.


    1. If you've no medical knowledge or experience, but were supposed to review my roommate's medicine, don't blame me for his overdose.


    1. After living with both criminals and the mentally ill, I still believe convicts cause more trouble.


    1. No fun intended


    1. The difference between my mental health and yours is that I got caught.


    1. The problem with the law is that you often need a lawyer.  
    2. So my comedic idol was hands down Richard Pryor. I get compared to George Carlin a lot, but Pryor was the master of disaster on stage and in his personal life too. He was a lot like me, except the for the fact that he was black and made a lot of jokes about it, but an overall fuck up. I probably even did as much cocaine though. R.I.P. Pryor you were the greatest!


    1. I like being manic as opposed to being depressed. It’s a no-brainer for anyone. But how do I get there? What is my secret formula for mania? Nine double expressos and a credit card, maybe some monster drinks too and you’re good to go! Don’t try this at home and drive carefully!


    1. Inappropriate jokes are a big part of my comedy. They go over well with some people who can appreciate a good laugh. Other people slap me!


    1. So, I started this online group for psych patients to have a safe place to commune because we get treated badly in AA, we get treated badly in anti-aa, we even get treated badly at the gym or on the bus or is that just me? Then I noticed something. I was the only one posting, but with a small crowd of faithful followers. Just the way I like it and they can’t kick me out for it, because it’s my group. I got kicked out of all the anti-aa groups for posting too much, I got kicked out of all the AA meetings for sharing too much, they kick me out of churches for talking too much and I’m the only guy I know who gets 86’d from libraries. So, grab a seat, some popcorn and a hot date cause you’re in Dan’s room baby. It’s the only place you can get all Dan all day in Dan’s room. For some, it’s even in Dan’s bedroom baby! Keep coming back!!!


    1. Mental Health Awareness Group – Today’s topic – Richard Pryor


    1. I relate to the late Richard Pryor because in his comedy and overall demeaner he seemed to not think very highly of himself. That could just have been his stage presence. But I can say he liked to butt himself in all his jokes. I do that too because I don’t want to offend other people and hurt their feelings. So, I butt myself. I still sometimes butt other people, but it doesn’t go over as well and that may be why Karen is still not talking to me.


    1. Richard Pryor made a movie of his life, changing all the names: Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling. That was lame! We all knew Jo Jo was Richard Pryor. Why couldn’t he have just made Richard Pryor the movie and in Sensurround? I would have watched that just for the free cocaine!


    1. One interesting fact about Richard Pryor was that his mother was a prostitute, and he was raised in a brothel. My mother was not a whore but she had seven children. Close enough!


    1. Eventually, Pryor had an accident freebasing cocaine and burned himself up. I’d hate to be him in the hospital the next day wondering what I did the night before.


    1. Another funny scene in the autobiographical movie about Richard Pryor was that when he overdosed all his girlfriends showed up at the hospital saying they were his wife. I’ve had several girlfriends myself, but when I’ve been in the hospital half-dead, none of them thought to show up!
    2. Richard Pryor had a talented daughter, Rain Pryor. She played a role in the sitcom, Head of the Class, and Pryor was proud of her success. Come on! Being in an 80’s family hour show starring the dude from WKRP in Cincinnati can hardly compare to Pryor’s success in movies and on stage. But it’s nice to think talent runs in the family. If I ever meet my only son, I’ll be sure to ask him what he does.
    3. Another successful actor who had a drug problem during Pryor’s heyday was Robert Downey Jr. He portrayed this as a gay prostituted addicted to crack cocaine in the movie Less Than Zero. I don’t know if that ever happened to Robert Downey Jr. but his method acting was really too good.


    1. Towards the end of his life, Richard Pryor contracted multiple sclerosis and died shortly afterwards. In his final days you could see him on TV and in interviews shaking and baking with that same dopey look on his face. Here’s to you, Richard Pryor, from all of us loveable losers to you!!!


    1. Because I take such liberties in my writing and comedy like Richard Pryor did, I could be thought of as a free speech advocate. Let’s get one thing straight. I am a mental health advocate first. I choose inappropriate topics today because we as artists we are too limited from both the left and the right. A good friend pointed out comedy has become illegal. We have to poke the fun and rant the roast. Then we can all laugh at ourselves and get a good feeling finally. Because if we can’t laugh at ourselves. Nobody will want to laugh at us.


    1. Can’t find my morning medicine. This could be really bad! It’s Murder on the Orient Express. Who dunnit? Dan‘s medicine is missing, that could be a clue!





    1. I don't multitask. I just try to focus on one thing at a time and at any rate, it helps to know what I'm doing.


    1. When they lower the medicines, I talk more and tell more jokes. I think that's why they give me the meds.



    1. Everyone likes to thank our veterans for their service, but they need services when they come home.


    1. Why are our veterans in the same psyche wards as me? They should be honored.


    1. Did you know you can make more money panhandling if you say you're a veteran?


    1. Facts you didn't know...
    2. Gulf wars... PTSD


    1. Yes, our soldiers got PTSD from the Gulf wars. I mean the Vietnam peasants could be pretty bad, but I guess the muslim terrorists could be even worse.


    1. If you don’t think by now war is traumatic on our soldiers, let’s see what Putin does. To be continued…


    1. I don’t need to compare the Vietnam veterans to the gulf war soldiers, but they won those wars. Let’s give them some credit.


    1. The Vietnam vets at the VA were picking on the gulf war soldiers for getting PTSD. I heard about that in therapy.


    1. The gulf war soldiers went through just as much fear as Vietnam vets. You never knew who you were talking to and they might blow up.


    1. I used to run into a lot of Vietnam vets in therapy. They were cool guys until they got political power.


    1. MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS - today’s topic - our veterans


    1. Why is it the veterans who never fought in a war have so much more to talk about... like our government?


    1. I think we have more veteran's holidays than we have veteran's benefits, but that's just what I see.


    1. I think we made too many Vietnam movies and no gulf wars movies. Let's change the trend and start filming Putin.


    1. A man who's been to war will rarely talk about it, same as someone involved in a crime.


    1. A veteran will never refer to a war as the good ol’ days. A movie will.


    1. I am officially titling the conflict, Putin's War.


    1. As far as politics, I don't know what's going on in the world and everyone who does sounds scary.



    1. For a long time Vietnam vets weren't considered heroes because they didn't win the war. Ever see the ticker tape parade for the San Diego Padres?


    1. The unlikely prophet is a man of peace, just like Jesus who set us free.


    1. I do respect our war veterans. Many are my friends. I see them in therapy all the time.


    1. Just because you can't see a veteran's wounds, doesn't mean he's not limping.


    1. The veterans fought for my right to say this stuff. Take it up with them!


    1. The therapist wants a session with me and my mother. I'll get slaughtered. She's good at talking bad about me.


    1. I don't know if this category exists, but alpha females are tough! Cuz ya can't hit 'em!!!


    1. This is the way I protest. I write... a lot... do you see how effective it is?


    1. According to Alcoholics Anonymous, an AA meeting can happen where two or more members gather. Doesn't say they have to get along.


    1. Most people don't think about religion that deeply and have more to do than worry about what you're gonna to do when you’re dead.


    1. When I attended AA, I was legally free. Most people there weren't.


    1. I just want to talk to someone about my book and no one wants to talk to me. Maybe I'm talking too much again. Do you think? I don't know. Let's ask Dan.


    1. It's one thirty A.M. and I'm messaging everyone. Can you please tell my psychiatrist about Ambien???


    1. I once called Channel 4 News from a mental hospital and told them I was an international terrorist. They caught me cause I called collect.


    1. I did a lot of bad things in that hospital stay… answering the patients phone, “Hello, mental hospital!”… asking for conjugal visits… the judge hanged me.


    1. Kelly Thomas was schizophrenic and murdered by the police. You see no connection there???


    1. The Tragedy Of Samson And Delilah
    2. I walked the earth for several years
    3. Nothing greater than I to fear
    4. No battle lost, not here, nor there
    5. With nothing stronger than my hair
    6. I was king to Philistines
    7. Before I met her of my dreams
    8. Her beauty yielded in my heart
    9. She was a focus of my art
    10. Yet when at first she tempted me
    11. I scoffed her off and let her be
    12. Again she tried again she failed
    13. My strength was mightier I hailed
    14. But then one night one evil night
    15. I lay in her bed by candlelight
    16. She tempted me amidst an air
    17. Then took a knife and cut my hair
    18. My strength was gone. My will was weak
    19. I turned and kissed her on the cheek
    20. Then lost to women, wine and song
    21. I faired I would not be as strong
    22. Take me Lord and hear my cry
    23. That not another day go by
    24. Without your grace to guide my fight
    25. And I shall love you as I die
    26. And so I tore the pillars to part
    27. With Grace and Strength within my heart
    28. They buried me inside a tomb
    29. Inscribed by love and lover’s doom.


    1. One time in college, I went to the psyche ward for spring break.


    1. If I wanted my higher power to be a group of drunks, I'd go to the bar.


    1. My philosophy is dynamic. It changes as I learn new things. God changed his mind in the bible and my ex-girlfriend did too. Dammit!


    1. Empathy is a human instinct. So is murder. Would you like some wine?


    1. Computers are amazing. Did you know you can type stuff, push a button and bug everybody in town?


    1. I have a celebrity crush on Britney Spears. She’s helping me get through a really tough time.


    1. If they could find a math equation that gave really smart people common sense, that would be more revolutionary than Einstein.


    1. Up late watching interviews and movies about Britney Spears. She's my most favorite imaginary girlfriend in the whole wide world.


    1. Hell is not after you die. Hell is living your life not knowing what you're capable of.


    1. One think I've learned socially is don't try to make a pet out of a raccoon. They may look cute and fuzzy but....


    1. This may be off topic, but as a veteran psyche patient I've learned that when someone voices suicidal intentions, what they want to hear is Don't do it! You'd be surprised how many people can't say that.


    1. Facebook was designed as a place to make friends and know relatives. Now it's a place to lose them.


    1. When you ain’t got nothin’ you ain’t got nothin to lose


    1. The unlikely prophet cares on about life, cares not about the worldly nor the strife.


    1. I've never really had a vacation in my adult life because I've never really worked.


    1. Britney Spears has 1,000,000 guys who like her. I have a number of girls like 1,000,000, but it's single digit and not the 1.


    1. Mental illness is considered a weakness. But if I was strong and tough I'd beat you up!


    1. This is not about the money, but I like the money.


    1. Nobody wants to be the most important person in the room all the time. Sometimes you just want to be in the room.


    1. Not giving attention to one's art is like spending all day in the kitchen making a someone special meal and they didn't eat it.


    1. If you want a date, I'll treat this time. But in the future it's go dutch!


    1. If you want me to get help. Then also be help! I shouldn't have to beg for support from so many people.


    1. Suicidal ideations don't necessarily mean you''re going to die. It's more like a recovering addict thinking about his drug.


    1. The unlikely prophet feels so alone dialing the numbers on his phone.


    1. The human species is made up of cool bodies with warm hearts trapped inside.


    1. Christ was the good shepherd. Cared about all the sheep in his herd. Something to think about.


    1. It's not that you don't know what to do. It's that what you did isn't the answer and you knew it.


    1. Ask her to check her messages. I keep writing them and if she doesn't respond I may write angry.


    1. Yes, I contacted my therapist like you said. We're having a session about living with no supportive friends.


    1. A man tells you he has no friends, is trapped on his computer voicing suicide and you tell him to fuck off!!! Who raised you???


    1. Even paranoia isn't paranoia sometimes. Sometimes people are mad at you.


    1. I understand your decision. I had to leave the mother of my only child because of her schizophrenia. I wanted to help her, fix her as AA would say, but I couldn't. I mean we couldn't. It's a crippling disease and hard to watch and like they claim about alcoholism, it affects those around you. I know you are an incredibly strong woman, but I can't ask that of you and you couldn't do it anyway. Maybe someday my art will help.


    1. I don't want to go to the hospital. You can't smoke there.


    1. The unlikely prophet lays in bed, fantastic dreams in his head.


    1. If you think this is hurting you more than it hurts me, you gotta be kidding!!!


    1. Mental illness can be bearable. Only when the head gets too confused do I get scared.


    1. Do me a favor... go to your mother, show her what you just wrote me and tell her she fucked up!


    1. A friend in need... nuff said!


    1. I know the world doesn't revolve around me. It revolves around you!


    1. I'm being nice. Don't be grumpy when I'm nice. Be grumpy when I'm an asshole. That's when everybody else gets grumpy!


    1. I don't have time for a problem with no solution.


    1. You said you do care about me. Not romantically either way but I still believe that you do. It's hard for even me to know what to do, but reach out and by probability find someone. But I'm having a hard time and you and everyone are walking away. I've often said, I'd rather watch a man die than turn my back on him while he's doing it. I guess you have to have almost dies too many times to know what that's like. I'll survive this, but will have lost a piece of my soul.


    1. The unlikely prophet lies there dead. No longer his body but his soul instead.


    1. You don't like anybody? I'm the opposite. I like everybody and nobody likes me.


    1. If you're listening to a perfect symphony and one violinist hits a bad note, you're gonna remember it.


    1. You can cuss someone out in AA and still be fine. Even at the church... never mind, you can't do it at the church.


    1. I'm sorry if... doesn't mean you're sorry.


    1. That’s true but… means I don’t care what you said.


    1. I'm sorry for being rash.My moods are on the North Pole and Hungary.


    1. I don't care about being normal. I gave that up a long time ago.


    1. I don't care what I did. I already know it. I was there too.


    1. I know you’re going through a lot, but fuck you!


    1. Go ahead and block me! That's even better than admitting you're wrong!


    1. I do have a problem with's an addiction. One post and I can't stop. The only solution is a higher power.


    1. It's not your responsibility to help You don't have to do anything you don't want to. not even the ten commandments.


    1. As I tell my employers, I'm much nicer when I'm on the clock.


    1. The referee has counted to ten. You can stop hitting me now!


    1. For a country founded upon the principle of equality. We sure don't like people who are different.


    1. Do you see why the issue of mental health awareness is so important to me. Sometimes people like you mean well or want to help, but they don't know much about it. I want a world where maybe they do. And illnesses like this be treated as illnesses like Parkinson's or asthma. Instead of thinking Charlie Manson. You wanted to advocate and I still wish you would, But I realize it's a difficult and exhausting cause to accept. I have to do it. It's my life.


    1. The unlikely prophet has to choose, heads or tails what will he lose?


    1. Don't be afraid because I have an emotional disability. The purpose of my work is so that you won't be. I seem to be failing at it.


    1. Even a telemarketer is ashamed of what he does, but he’s still making money.


    1. I like conspiracy theories. I try to understand them, their motives. They have to have some inspiration other than hating Mexicans.


    1. I know the legal system you’ve been in your whole life. And I’m guessing some of the crimes you’ve been convicted of you didn’t commit.


    1. Some convict names like viper and skull crusher sounds really cool, but it doesn’t leave a good first impression.


    1. I’m using you for my muse my inspiration for my jokes. Yes the jokes are about you so you gotta have an open mind.


    1. I have no friends. But Clint Eastwood was a loner in the movies. Yep I’m a bad ass too.


    1. The unlikely prophet went to the store to buy all the items he needed before.


    1. Pentecostal Problem


    1. We speak with tongues of fire
    2. The apostles and I
    3. From high upon the mountain top
    4. From low within the plains


    1. We preach the words of Jesus
    2. Left in his very last days
    3. Love one and love one another
    4. Through him there is the way


    1. We’re filled with the spirit
    2. The spirit has a name
    3. We are the Holy Spirit
    4. On Pentecost this day


    1. We speak with tongues of fire
    2. The apostles and I
    3. From high upon the mountain top
    4. On Pentecost this day


    1. So listen closely to us
    2. As tongues are in the way
    3. Of all our useless chatter
    4. On Pentecost this day


    1. As far as my Facebook art groups are going. Other than the one that was taken over by terrorists, they operate and function as regular art groups and people are sharing and enjoying them often. I've learned from this that If you’re not controlling nor try to organize people, you’ll find they can organize themselves.


    1. When the terrorists start cutting off people’s heads, I’ll shut down the group. For now, they’re free to post their videos.


    1. That's where I draw the line! No public execution!



    1. The terrorists in my Facebook group do like and comment on my music videos. They like my song Gentle Gypsy.


    1. My music has quite a terrorist following on Facebook. I’m planning a tour in the Middle East after I read the Quran.


    1. Terrorists typically recruit guys on the internet who have no wife and no job. That could be me!


    1. Welcome to the Dan Joyce Terrorist Benefit Show. Do we have Saudi Arabia in the house? WOOOH!!!


    1. I realize the Muslim terrorist is a horrific stereotype, but it’s not going to stop the terrorists to don’t discriminate. They’ve got other things on their minds.


    1. Not all Muslims are terrorists, and all religions have people who do bad things. Except the Buddhists, they just meditate and get lazy.


    1. I’m just finding common ground with the terrorists. Because they like me and they like my music so there’s hope. And people who don’t like me and my music are just hopeless.


    1. First question, what’s the difference between humus and Hamas? It confuses me at the vegan store.


    1. You think it’s wrong for me to tour the terrorists, but the American soldiers get entertainment, why not them?


    1. I know I shouldn’t be sharing my poetry here while you’re working but you guys are like my friends at the 7-Eleven. I don’t get out much.


    1. You are my sunshine my only sunshine… Come on! Sing along! This one’s for Allah! Whooh!


    1. I need a song more appropriate for my terrorist tour. Convert me to Islam and I’ll get an inspiration.


    1. You think the lyrics need more Mohamed or just work on the melody?


    1. I’d like to learn about Islam, but I don’t wanna join another religion and get all heavily involved. It’s time consuming and takes from work and family.


    1. It’s not the Muslims’ fault, we don’t know their religion. Every Muslim I’ve ever met has been willing to share their religion. We just shut them out.


    1. Like Islam my music is special and sacred to me because I’m the only guy that likes it.


    1. Allah promises many great things for all good Muslims. Do you want to live in paradise with 72 virgins? No.


    1. The Quran is written in the first person, so Allah speaks directly to you. Does your God speak to you? Not since they put me on medication.


    1. Yes, I’ve been reading the Quran and studying Islam. It’s an educational awakening as I try to understand it. How it got from Mohamed’s enlightenment to making all the women wear clothes all over their face.


    1. I’m sure you’re a pretty woman, but I find the hijab unattractive.


    1. I want to write a love song for muslim women, but I know nothing about muslim women. Time to do research.


    1. So this is called a harem? I’ve heard of this.


    1. When the end come’s I know that I’m just a gigalo life goes on without me. How’s that girls? WHOOH!


    1. Can you just take off the hijab just for me? OMG you’re Barbara Eden. Yeah works been slow since they cancelled I dream of Jeanie, drinking drug problems and all. You know how it goes, but I’m much happier now that I’m in a Muslim harem. We’re a family and I’d been looking for that the whole time. Praise Allah!


    1. I used to be a Christian, but according to Christianity you can’t do that. You can’t be a Christian then not be a Christian. What’s the deal with Christianity? You can’t back out?
    2. You’re a prophet like in the Quran. No not me. I mean I think I got a calling, I think we all do. But I don’t think about it much. Most of the time I’m just trying to find a job and a place to live.


    1. I know I have fantastic daydreams, but it would be a beautiful world if the terrorists did hear my music and stopped being terrorists. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen, even the Americans don’t like my music


    1. Middle Eastern food is very good but spicy… Wait! Is that poison I’m tasting?


    1. Showing the terrorists my music humanizes them. We don’t think of terrorists or radicals of any religion to be human and that may be part of the problem


    1. Thank you for hosting me in your large home during the terrorist tour sultan. It’s been a great pleasure, shalom. OOPS! Need to brush up on my Arabic.


    1. You made peace with the middle east. Yeah, just had to change the subject.


    1. Their main complaint was that we invaded their territories politically and tried to change their culture. I don’t know foreign affairs that well, but it sounds like something we would do.


    1. Dan did you have any difficulties with the terrorists on your tour of the Middle East? Well a few you did try to convince me that bin Laden was a nice guy but basically they were all OK.


    1. Its politically incorrect to call them terrorists they prefer to be called Islamic political activists!


    1. It’s not like their religion is bad or the people are bad. It’s like America, they’re misled by the wrong people.


    1. They had the infidels, and we had the axis of evil. We don’t need religion to tear us apart when it was designed to bring us together. You have two religions that have more in common than any religions in the world and they don’t get along. We should just be friends.


    1. We tried to take over their culture and force our ways upon them. With high technology and weapons… of mass destruction.
    2. We remember 9/11 and that is good and bad. It’s a good thing because we honor those we lost and struggled in the tragedy. But it’s a bad thing because we remember those who did it and they didn’t all do it. It’s been a while since the wars and maybe now it’s time to heal.


    1. What is your vision of peace? I mean you can’t just have two wars in the Middle East and expect everything to be hunky-dory but I think we’re making progress.
    2. Truth is that the terrorists probably wouldn’t like my music if I showed it to them. They have their own culture and music they like, and Arabic music is weird and out of my key.


    1. Uh oh! Looks like the terrorists in my Facebook art group are human trafficking now! Check out her!
    2. How many roads must a man walk all down… it’s America music guys! Love it! Whooh!


    1. What started this fight anyway? You? Yes I bet it was you.


    1. Russian Love Connection Communist Style


    1. Dan, you have said that you would vote for and endorse any politician who will meet you and talk about mental health awareness. We have your first candidate, but it’s an insanely odd choice. Vladimir Putin would like to have dinner with you in Moscow.
    2. Tell him I’ll go if he promises not to kill me. Also I’d like to set him up on a date. Have you ever seen those photos of him shirtless or just trying to look handsome? Ever seen a woman in the picture? Guy needs love!


    1. Welcome to the Russian Love Connection special Putin edition.
    2. Now Vladimir, usually we have three bachelors and one beauty. But today we only have one bachelor, the other two have been eliminated and we’re still trying to find them.


    1. Today I’ve chosen your prospective love to be Nadya Tolokonnikova, a conceptual artist, political activist and lead singer of a Russian punk rock group called, Pussy Riot. You may already know her, because you had her jailed and imprisoned for two years for crashing a church. I don’t know how she didn’t think that was illegal? You both have history, but this is the first time you’re meeting. Remember, this is a dating show, so both of you be polite and respectful or I’ll have to remove you from the show sand replace you with someone else. Vladimir, I just set you up with the hottest girl in Russia, so play fair! Of course, with your permission we will be airing live on my YouTube channel. Ladies and Gentlemen, Russian Love Connection Communist Style.


    1. First question, ice breaker looking for things in common.


    1. Vladimir, Nadya is a terrific artist, writer and musician. What composer, painter or poet do you like that you think Nadya might like? Hint: Say her!


    1. You are a wonderfully creative mind.
    2. Good job Putin! Just follow my lead! We got this!


    1. Nadya what musical artist do you think Putin would like?
    2. Charlie Manson. Helter Skelter.


    1. Nadya play fair! My turn. I kinda like the Monkees, they’re underrated.
    2. Now for compliments. Vladimir say something nice about Nadya
    3. Nadya You are beautiful woman
    4. Awe! How sweet!
    5. Nadya compliment Vladimir
    6. You are highly intelligent dictator.


    1. And I think you two are a cute couple.


    1. Third and last subject. Politics


    1. Vladimir, Nadya is a political activist. What stance on what subject do you agree with and like about Nadya.


    1. You speak for Russia and love our country. We just have different dreams.


    1. You get a harder question. Tell Putin why you think we should stop the war in the Ukraine. Be positive and use feeling words. Translator, get the correct interpretation of positive.


    1. Not only would it save lives, but it would help the Russian economy to have less sanctions and do more business in the free world. People would be happy, our children could play without fear. We would have more money. There is more to focus on Russian’s growth without war and violence and personally I would like it very much.


    1. Good point I will discuss this with my cabinet


    1. Really? That’s it? Because I say so?


    1. It was very well said.


    1. But you’ve never listened to me before.


    1. You never spoke to me. I can’t read woman’s mind. You are profoundly intelligent and you touch me. I would like to give you a kiss.
    2. Awe Vladimir! Oh Nadya!


    1. Congratulations it’s a love connection. You two win a free vacation in downtown Santa Ana. You’ll be staying rent free in my sober living. You’ll be seeing sites like the Walmart, the 7/11 and of course, the barrio. Come back next week folks to see how the love connection goes. Or maybe sooner depending on my VISA.


    1. Thank you Dan Joyce you are very clever.
    2. Clever? Is that a good thing? Do you mean I’m smart or does this clever I have a second meeting in Russian like when you call Donald Trump brilliant?
    3. No you are clever my friend
    4. Friend? Really? Cool! Wow! I’m pals with a Russian dictator. You never know when that’ll come in handy.


    1. And that buzzer means that we are out of time. But don't worry, Because Vladimir Putin will continue with his date with Nadya from Pussy Riot. That's our show for today,
    2. I am Dan Joyce reminding you to make that special Russian Love Connection Communist Style. And we will see you again real soon. Goodbye for now!
    3. Now! Stay tuned as I tongue kiss Ellen on the Ellen show.
    4. Whooh! Whooh! Whooh! Thank you Ellen! You're the only woman that understands me...
    5. I feel like dancin'



    1. The unlikely prophet gets kicked out of groups. Not mingling kindly with whoever's whose who?


    1. I like to tell edgy jokes. If they’re offended, Fuck you! You’re offending me by not laughing.


    1. You might want to cut back on the alcohol. You're judgement is coming across racist.


    1. If you worked on a book 8 hours a day 7 days a week for one year with no vacation, how much money would that be???
    2. None, the racist pig wouldn't even look at it!



    1. You're gonna complain about me calling you racist, but you get to call me out of control crazy.


    1. I think you have a black husband. Do you call him names? Do you say he's dangerous or stupid? Do you do that to him? Do you let others do it? Do you ban him from groups and places for it? Yes, it's different. Its different because you accept it when it's about mental illness.


    1. I will use the term racist pig because I feel it most appropriate to the situation. Considering that everything you have said and done about my disability so far makes you a racist pig. No one is picking on you, you have been crossing the line with me Miss Racist Piggy


    1. In what way does Monica Richardson discriminate against the mentally ill?
      1. calling them out of control crazy
      2. demanding they get mental health treatment when they alreadt are
      3. banniing them from groups where people gather
      4. Bill Wilson
      5. all of the above


    1. the correct answer is all of the above except Bill W. He is said to have been more open minded and not a racist pig!


    1. seriously though, give your husband my regards. We're almost the same him and I. We've both had to put up with a horrible racist pig for far too long.


    1. I did not insult that woman, Monica Richardson
    2. Well it depends on what you mean by insult!


    1. What exactly did Monica RichardsonMonica Richardson do to you to be called a racist pig?
    2. You mean, besides fuck me in the ass over my mental illness?


    1. I thought anti-aa would be different, but the treatment I got was just as bad as the discrimination and hate I got in AA for thirty years. I was called names, banned from groups, my posts in favor of psychiatry and therapists were trolled and humiliated. I don't really have a place in my life to deal with any kind of substance use treatment right now and like AA, anti-AA groups referred to my medicine as harmful drugs. I'm alienated without treatment for recovery now, I don't like AA, but deprogramming groups, the freedom model and SMART recovery aren't proving to not be any better about the prejudice and hate for persons in treatment for mental illness. Now I'm an outsider, a rogue, a lone wolf like James Dean or Clint Eastwood. Pretty cool, huh?


    1. I know I'm a trouble maker on line and if you read any of my posts, you’re probably afraid of me, but do you do a podcast? I wrote a book


    1. I know it sounds inaccurate to call it racism, but I don't feel that stigma or ableism are powerful enough words to describe the hate and discrimination we get.


    1. I've been called an advocate for myself, that is a half-truth. Because I believe others may be walking in my shoes as well.


    1. I want to say I don’t care what you think, but I do. I want people to like me. If you want to hit me where it hurts, dislike me.


    1. I know I’m angry at her, but this is about more than me and Monica. This is about freedom.


    1. The unlikely prophet has a cause, pulls his own forces not from God.


    1. Some people you respect out of title and that’s it!


    1. You’re talking too much. If you want to be a therapist or a counselor you listen and go hmm…


    1. Sometimes the things you say are spot on and I’m not listening.


    1. Racism not the same, Dan, however whoever discriminates against me for being a black woman, it’s their ignorance And whoever discriminates against you for being a mentally ill man it’s their ignorance. It’s who we choose to deal with.


    1. Don’t waste too much time trying to get acceptance from people who don’t like you.


    1. Welcome to the first bimonthly meeting of our new organization Citizens Against Ignorance. Today’s speaker is the unlikely prophet


    1. I’m not saying it’s no good to have my best friend be in a recovery home with me. I just think it would be better if my best friend owned beach house in Malibu.


    1. Dreams are not reality until you act upon them.


    1. I’m looking for a writer’s group. They sick of hearing my poems, stories and jokes at the halfway house.


    1. I really don’t know what to say. You look to me as a prophet, philosophically wise. I could be like a great Chinese thinker and give all these riddles and poems for everybody, but that would just leave you all confused. Thank you for letting me share.


    1. Not like a good deed not like a sin the unlikely prophet speaks from within.


    1. I know he’s a prophet because he speaks to me from inside and that’s something God would do.


    1. The unlikely prophet carries a staff always with humor and a good laugh.


    1. Dark in the shadows and where I hide, the unlikely prophet stands by my side.


    1. The unlikely prophet is never driven, takes from the earth and what he’s given.


    1. Ignore Monica. She’s nobody and she’ll always be nobody until she learns to accept everybody. - the unlikely prophet.


    1. You won’t really miss a friend who wasn’t there!


    1. We want to hear something from the unlikely prophet. I mean the guy’s got a spiritual message we wanna know what it is.


    1. We all have a message, why do you think I'm here? - the unlikely prophet
    2. Your’s is more important than mine or equally valuable. You don’t have to be blessed by God to have a message. That’s my words, now it’s time to share yours.



    1. This is Anderson Cooper with CNN and the most insane gathering the world has ever seen in my life. A disturbed fine artist has gotten on social media to gather an enormous crowd of mentally ill psychiatric patients on the White House Lawn. He’s calling it, The Million Maniacs March! The is so bat shit crazy I think even I am going to need treatment.


    1. What are you going to say prophet or at least what do I say?


    1. You have a great voice. Use it! You were not loved as a child. Your mother didn’t love you, she did, but she didn’t know how. Tell the world what you want for that child.


    1. My dream for the world is that everyone likes me and I like them. And that everyone likes each other. It sounds like an impossible dream, and shorter than Dr. King's dream, but I think that deep down inside we already do. We just get hurt sometimes because we don't believe it.


    1. So that’s it prophet? Now I’ve done something important and you’re done with me?
    2. No! Keep writing and keep making art, I will be there always. Not just for God, but I think your stuff’s pretty cool!


    1. I’d like to tell you as president of the United States of America, you have a great point on mental health awareness, I’ll be speaking to congress to see what we can do.
    2. The Savior 


    1. I was sent to save the world
    2. Save them from sin
    3. Save them from themselves
    4. Save them from greed, lust and gluttony
    5. Save them from hell


    1. I healed the sick
    2. I walked on water
    3. All the greatest
    4. Magic tricks


    1. But my word has lasted longer
    2. My message carried further
    3. Than any man I know
    4. And how my church has grown


    1. True we’ve had our difficulties
    2. The Christian path not always free
    3. But when a child is born
    4. Or a man’s righteousness earned
    5. That is my word
    6. Living 


    1. Even as an atheist, the scientific improbabilities of developing life are too phenomenal not to appreciate it. For the rest of you, God Bless You all! - the unlikely prophet.


    1. If you like this story, please support with a PayPal, credit or debit card donation so I can make more and continue to advocate on behalf of the mental health community.










If you like this story, please support with a PayPal, credit or debit card donation so I can make more and continue to advocate on behalf of the mental health community.


1 comment

  • I concur with some,disagree with others and have zero connection with me.As I stay in the moment,prophets are an interest.

    Sirurge on

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