The question I keep coming back to is this: why don’t I want to smoke? But maybe the real question should be, why do I want to smoke in the first place? And if I genuinely want to stop, it becomes, why don’t I smoke anymore?
Oddly, smoking has been something I’ve falsely accepted for a long time. You know the reasoning—"It’s too hard to quit, so why bother?" I even quit once for eight years through a cessation program. But the moment I left that program, I started again. One cigarette, and I was right back where I started, as if the whole thing never happened. Addiction has a way of creeping back in like that.
The truth is, nobody likes addiction. It’s a ball and chain that you carry around every day, with smoking, it’s several times a day. If I took a drink every time I had a cigarette, I wouldn’t be walking—I’d be passed out somewhere. Yet, despite knowing this, I’ve lived with smoking. I remind myself, over and over again, how I’m slowly killing myself, dragging my future closer to the edge with every puff. I’m fully aware that I’ll die sooner because of this habit. My father died of cancer; his father died of emphysema. If there’s any message clearer than that, I’m not sure what it could be. And yet, here I am, just accepting that I won’t live that long. It’s pessimistic, I know. But that’s the twisted logic I’ve been living with.
Now, I’m choosing something different. I will save money now that I’m not smoking and invest it in something that matters—something that brings life instead of takes it away. I’ll invest in my art. I’ll go to the gym and exercise, with better results, since my lungs won’t be struggling for breath anymore. That time I spent smoking, I can spend drawing or hitting the gym. It’s so clear to me now: smoking doesn’t do anything positive for anyone.
So, goodbye cigarettes. You’re done, and you’re not coming back. I’m committed to this change. Dan is going to be a new man, and I’ll be building a better, brighter future without you dragging me down.
Here’s to a smoke-free life—and everything that’s waiting on the other side.
Dan
by Dan and Bonkers
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