Before I started this journey, a therapist once gave me a creative idea: “Since you’re an artist, why not draw every time you want to smoke?” At first, it made perfect sense—redirect the urge into something expressive and positive. But as time went on, I found it wasn’t so simple.
The cravings got stronger, and to be honest, one of my main art projects was recently rejected. That rejection knocked the wind out of me. I felt frustrated and started distancing myself from art altogether. So instead of picking up a pencil, I found myself reaching for a cigarette again. Old habits are persistent like that.
But then something interesting happened.
I noticed that when I’m on my computer—especially when I’m working on my blog, replying to emails, or promoting my work—I can go significantly longer without smoking. In fact, sometimes I go two hours without even thinking about it. That’s a huge win considering when I started, I couldn’t last more than 15 minutes.
I also realized something else: social media engagement releases dopamine—just like gambling. Likes, comments, shares—they give that little hit of excitement and satisfaction. Now, I know it’s not healthy to be glued to your screen 24/7 chasing digital highs. But done mindfully, this little dopamine boost might just be an effective substitution for nicotine. At least for me, it’s working.
So this is my new strategy: productive distraction. I work on my blog, promote my books, respond to messages, and build my online presence. I even go across the street to the library where smoking is prohibited and the environment is more conducive to focus and relaxation. Being away from the group home, where smoking is a constant backdrop, helps tremendously.
And here's the best part—I’m starting to feel more in control. Not just of my cravings, but of my time, my energy, and my focus. When I’m creating something or engaging with others, I’m not just not smoking—I’m thriving.
Today’s Progress: I’ll be honest. I backslid during Wondercon. I had declared the first day of the event to be my official quit date. But I wasn’t ready. And setting such a major day as my quit date turned out to be too much pressure. But that’s okay.
Because now I have better tools and a better understanding—thanks to what I’ve learned in my group. I’m not giving up. In fact, I refuse to give up. I will quit smoking. Maybe not all at once, and maybe not perfectly, but eventually—and completely.
My new goal? To be totally smoke-free by the next smoking cessation class next Tuesday.
One blog post, one email, one library visit at a time.
by Dan and Bonkers
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