It’s earlier in the day, and I’ve got smoking cessation class later tonight. To be honest, part of me doesn’t want to go. I already know what they’re going to say—triggers, cravings, breathing exercises, patches, blah blah blah. But the other part of me—the part that still wants to quit—knows I need to be there. Especially today.
This morning was rough. I slipped. I had a cigarette. Just one, but that has a way of opening the floodgates lead me off my pace and back to more. It didn’t solve anything. It didn’t make me feel better. It just reminded me how easy it is to fall back into something I’m trying so hard to leave behind.
That’s the thing about quitting—it’s not a straight line. It’s more like a scribble. Some days are strong and steady, others are shaky and smoky. But even on the bad days, I still want to quit. That has to count for something.
Tonight’s class is my reset button. I’m going in with honesty—I’ll tell them I slipped. I’ll listen more than I talk. I’ll pick up some fresh patches and get myself mentally ready for this next round. No shame. Just progress, even if it’s messy.
And I have to get it together, because WonderCon is this weekend. I’ll be promoting my books and art, surrounded by creative energy and a whole lot of caffeine. The last thing I need is to be sneaking out to smoke in an alley between panels. I want to be fully present, fully breathing, and fully me.
Today’s Progress:
Yes, I backslid this morning. But I’m going to class tonight. I’m preparing my patches. I’m not giving up.
WonderCon is around the corner, and I’m not taking cigarettes with me—just my passion, my art, and a pack of mints.
One more step forward. One less puff behind.
by Dan and Bonkers
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