So today, I woke up to some strange, uncomfortable dreams—courtesy of the nicotine patch I slapped on before bed last night. That’s one of the side effects, they say, and wow, it hit fast. I barely made it through my first cup of coffee before a fellow resident at the group home offered me a morning cigarette. And yep... I took it. Setback? Yeah. But also reality.
I ended up smoking a few more before deciding to rescue myself at the local library—a clean, quiet, smoke-free sanctuary. So far, I’ve had six cigarettes and a snipe (yes, I counted that too). Not perfect, but not bad either, considering I’ve been averaging a little over a pack a day the past few days—and at one point, three full packs a day. That’s a serious cut.
Now, I know you’re not supposed to smoke while using the patch. But a teacher once told me, “It’s better than a full-blown relapse.” And that’s where I’m at right now—fighting the beast but still hanging on.
Tomorrow, I’ll be back at the library all day, working on my blog, emails, and website. And here’s the goal: no more than five cigarettes all day. Just half of what I had today. That’s progress, not perfection.
And then this weekend… Wondercon. A family-oriented comic convention—no smokers in sight, just superheroes, cosplayers, and creators. I plan to be completely smoke-free for the event. A clean slate in a clean space. Wish me luck.
Today also came with a fight with my mom and the emotional gut-punch of trying to quit in a house full of smokers. But I still have faith. I have a plan. And I have the library—my secret weapon.
It’s going to take willpower. But I’ve got something stronger: strategy.
by Dan and Bonkers
SUPPORT MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS NOW!!!
