Last night was one of those family moments that feels like a small postcard you tuck away in your wallet. Mom, my brother, my sister-in-law, and I went on a dinner boat cruise. Calm water, food, conversation, the whole floating normalcy package.
There was only one real temptation to smoke. Of course, it showed up right on cue. Before boarding, I went to the bathroom and saw a guy standing off in the corner of the parking lot, cigarette glowing like it was sending me Morse code. For a split second, I thought about asking him if I could buy one. Just one. The old bargaining voice cleared its throat.
Fortunately, I didn’t.
I’m not going to lie, the cravings have been loud during the holidays. Not whispers. Not polite suggestions. Full-volume commentary. The kind that waits for you to be relaxed, distracted, or nostalgic, then taps you on the shoulder like it owns the place.
So I’ve had to rethink the timeline. Instead of forever, I’ve set my sights on April. The book fair. A real goal. A real reward. Participating in something major reminds me why I’m doing this. I don’t need to conquer the rest of my life today. I just need to show up for the next checkpoint.
Piece by piece. Day by day. Then we’ll see what happens.
Even Whiskey seems to be going through her own version of this process. She’s not thrilled about being confined to her playpen anymore and has taken to biting us a lot. Right now, it’s still in the realm of cute. A lick here, a kitten nibble there. But we all know that as she grows, those bites won’t be so adorable.
She’s learning limits. I’m learning limits. Apparently, self-control is a household theme.
So today, like Whiskey, I’m taking it one day at a time. No grand speeches. No dramatic vows. Just another day where I didn’t smoke.
I got this.
by Dan and Bonkers
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