Sometimes quitting smoking feels easy compared to navigating friendship, politics, and adulthood in a small hometown. Cigarettes may be gone, but awkward social moments? Still here like that last stale cigarette you forgot under the car seat.
When I moved back in with Mom, it became clear that I needed something resembling a social life beyond the thrilling highlight reel of Mom, coffee, blog, breathe, repeat. So I looked up an old acquaintance, Vince Vaccher. Vince has always been supportive of my art — and also very supportive of political conversations that make my blood pressure sound like a techno beat.
The government shutdown didn’t help. They cut off my EBT/SNAP benefits, and naturally, finger-pointing ensued. Democrats blame Republicans, Republicans blame Democrats, and everyone claims they’re the real hero of healthcare. Meanwhile, I have Medicare/Medical, so thankfully I’m covered — but my grocery money vanished faster than a bag of Doritos at a gamer convention. I don’t know for sure who shut off my food stamps, but the president on TV proudly talking about cutting “Democrat programs” gave me a pretty big clue.
Anyway — Vince and I sparred, and by the end, we were both done like burnt toast. The political friendship grenade went boom. And here’s the thing: I wasn’t just arguing. I also had a motive. I wanted to ask if he could help me get to the book fair in April. That nagging feeling afterward? Guilt… the most persistent craving besides nicotine.
So this morning, I swallowed some pride (not nicotine) and did something I learned back in AA — I made an honest apology. I told him I disrespected his right to his beliefs and also used the friendship to advance my book hustle. He accepted it graciously. I felt good. Maturity! Growth! Spiritual evolution!
…then I asked again if he could help transport the books.
Oh well. As they say in AA: progress, not perfection.
Vince politely tapped out. Can’t blame him. Man can only take so much of my political comedy tour.
So here I am — still smoke-free, still breathing weird, and still looking for a driver and a friend for the book fair. But I made amends. I tried. I’ll keep moving forward, keep improving, and keep my politics and business a little more separate — or at least try.
And if nothing else, Vince earned a cigarette-free sigh of relief… even if I didn’t.
Onward. One day, one apology, one awkward ask at a time. 🚭💪
by Dan and Bonkers
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