Today was one of those “Just Another Manic Monday” kind of days — therapy appointment at the clinic, a bit of reflection, and the ongoing battle to stay smoke-free. Mom drove me down, and I decided to open up to my therapist about the panic attacks I’ve been having lately. I expected a calm, clinical response — maybe a breathing exercise or two. Instead, he said, “Yeah, I used to have them really bad when I quit heroin.”
I blinked. Heroin? This guy’s got a degree, a nice office, and a steady job helping others with mental health — and he used to be a heroin addict? It threw me off balance for a second, but also gave me perspective. If he can bounce back from that, maybe there’s hope for all of us fighting our own lesser (but no less real) demons.
I remembered from my AA days that there are a lot of job programs that help addicts and alcoholics rebuild their lives. Me? I went to college, studied art, and took a very different road — maybe rockier, but definitely mine. While he typed away at his computer, I shared updates about quitting smoking and the panic attacks that keep catching me off guard. He assured me that after so much change — quitting, moving, and recovering — it’s normal for the body to freak out a bit. The shock to the system can take a while to settle down.
Even with that reassurance from multiple doctors, it’s hard to believe sometimes that the panic will fade. When your chest tightens and your heart races, it feels like forever. Still, hearing someone else’s story — especially a therapist who’s been through the worst — made me realize how strong recovery can make a person.
Later in the day, I got a message through my website. Someone said they loved my art and this journal — and that they were two days smoke-free themselves. That hit home. It’s one thing to write for myself, but knowing someone else found strength in these words means everything.
So yeah, maybe it was just another manic Monday. But it was another day not smoking, another day breathing (even if it’s uneven), and another day connecting with someone else trying to do the same. And that makes it more than just another Monday — it makes it a win.
by Dan and Bonkers
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