I woke up in the best possible way. Purring. Ear licking. Air kisses. The full feline gratitude ceremony. The kind that says, without words, thank you for being my human. There are worse ways to start a morning than being chosen by a small creature with whiskers and opinions.
Mom is out with my brother at their weekly brunch, so the house is quiet. The calm kind of quiet, not the heavy kind. Yesterday was a little rougher. I got told off at the coffee shop for butting into a conversation that wasn’t mine. Fair enough. Social instincts don’t always come with perfect timing, and sometimes enthusiasm trips over boundaries. Lesson noted.
At the same time, mom has been buried in paperwork, trying to dismiss the restraining order so I can keep living with her. It’s strange how many people suddenly have a vested interest in someone else’s life. Financial interests. Property interests. Emotional alliances. Favoritism dressed up as concern. Mom brushes it off with her trademark sarcasm and says, “What are you going to do if I croak?”
The honest answer is that I don’t know.
And that’s not something I’m ready to solve today.
Plans do need to be made. That much is obvious. But this isn’t the right moment to map out an entire lifetime. Right now, we’re focusing on something much smaller and much more manageable. One day. Not one lifetime. Not ten years. Not worst-case scenarios whispered too loudly in the background.
Just today.
That’s also why not smoking through all of this matters so much. Smoking would pretend to be a solution while quietly stealing my ability to deal with anything at all. Staying smoke-free keeps me present, even when the present is uncertain, awkward, or uncomfortable.
So today I choose purrs over panic. Breath over habit. One day over everything.
I got this.
by Dan and Bonkers
SUUPPORT MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS NOW!!!
