Well, it’s another smoke-free day, and as usual I’m waking up to Whiskey Kitty.
She’s not biting as much these days. Instead, she’s sleeping right by my cheek like some tiny furry guardian of the morning. Of course, being a cat, affection comes with a little danger. Just when I think we’re having a peaceful moment, she stretches out and claws me in the neck with those little paws the way cats do when they’re trying to make themselves comfortable. Apparently comfort for Whiskey sometimes involves light violence.
Honestly, sometimes I don’t know if she loves me or hates me.
At night when I go into my room for bed, it takes less than a minute for her to appear. I barely settle in before she crawls through the door like a tuxedo-wearing ghost. She walks right up to me, pauses, and then suddenly acts like she doesn’t want attention at all. Mom says she’s playing me or being manipulative.
Maybe she is.
Cats are mysterious creatures. Their minds are like little locked safes with whiskers. I have no idea what goes on inside that animal’s head. But what she does make clear is that she wants to be close by. Whether it’s love, strategy, or just the pursuit of a warm human pillow, she’s always there.
And honestly, that helps.
I’ve also started painting again, which redirects my thinking in a really powerful way. When I’m painting, cigarettes disappear from the front of my mind. The hands are busy. The brain is busy. Instead of thinking about nicotine, I’m thinking about color, line, expression, and the strange beauty of the people I’m painting.
Right now I’m working on portraits of outsider artists.
That’s the idea anyway. Paint outsider artists in an outsider art style. Bold, colorful, maybe a little strange. But that’s the point of outsider art. It’s not meant to fit perfectly inside the neat little boxes people expect.
I’ve been posting the paintings online, but I’m not getting many likes or comments. That part is frustrating. Every artist knows that quiet moment when you show your work to the world and the world just kind of shrugs and walks past.
It makes you wonder if you’re doing something wrong.
But then I remembered the whole concept behind the series. Outsider artists paint outside the system. Outside the trends. Outside the approval machine. If everyone loved it immediately, it probably wouldn’t be outsider art anymore.
So maybe I’m not doing anything wrong at all.
Maybe the work just needs time to find its audience. Or maybe it’s simply meant to exist whether people click “like” or not. Art isn’t always applause. Sometimes it’s just action. The act of making something.
And that act helps me stay smoke-free.
Between the paintings and Whiskey Kitty’s strange brand of companionship, the days are getting easier. Instead of cigarettes, I wake up to a cat kneading my neck and a paintbrush waiting on the table.
It’s not a bad trade.
In the meantime, art and kitty are making smoke-free days much easier.
Once again, I got this. 🐈🎨🚭
by Dan and Bonkers
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