It’s Super Bowl Sunday, and the day began the way the best mornings do, with Whiskey Kitty delivering her usual pre-game ritual of love, purrs, and gentle reminders that I am, in fact, her human. Unfortunately, my own performance didn’t hold up for long. Before halftime even existed in my day, I was off to the smoke shop for another pack of cigarettes.
And honestly, it felt awful.
There’s no poetry in it, no romantic rebellion, no artistic mystique. Just the heavy feeling of being beaten by something small, expensive, and completely unnecessary. That’s when I had to say it plainly again: this isn’t a habit. It’s an addiction.
This afternoon I had a good conversation with a follower of the blog about faith. Some people rely on religion to quit, surrendering the struggle to something bigger than themselves. I respect that path. But today I realized my version of faith needs to be a little different.
Not faith in God.
Faith in Dan.
Because I’ve quit before. Which means this isn’t a fantasy. It’s a comeback story waiting for its next chapter.
Meanwhile, life is moving forward whether the cigarettes come along or not. And the truth is, there are bigger investments calling my name.
My brother made a simple but powerful observation: the money going up in smoke could be going into my art.
So I took that advice literally. I invested in a bulk email subscription and locked in several events for the year. If I’m going to spend money, it might as well build something instead of burning it.
Here’s the lineup so far:
Book and Art Promotion Schedule 2026
WonderCon – Anaheim Convention Center
March 27–29
LA Times Festival of Books – USC Campus
April 18–19
HalfOff Books – Fullerton
May 9
Vroman’s Bookstore – Pasadena
June 11
Whittier Art Gallery – Featuring art by Dan and Mom
July (date pending)
The Vroman’s event is especially meaningful. On my birthday, June 11, I’ll be featuring my autobiographical illustrated book, Have You Taken Your Meds? Part 1, at the oldest and largest independent bookstore in California. Some details are still being finalized, but it’s officially on the horizon.
That’s the thing about recovery. It isn’t just about stopping something. It’s about moving toward something.
And right now, there’s a lot to move toward.
Art.
Books.
Events.
A future that smells more like ink and paper than tobacco.
So yes, today had a relapse. Super Bowl Sunday went to the cigarettes.
But seasons aren’t decided by one play.
I will do this.
What I need now isn’t more guilt or more pressure. What I need is belief. Not necessarily belief that something will save me, but belief that I can save myself.
I’ve quit before.
I can quit again.
And this time, the victory parade smells like fresh paint, new books, and a little tuxedo kitten purring on my shoulder.
by Dan and Bonkers
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