Drama used to be a perfectly good word. It conjured up images of Shakespeare, high-stakes conflict, and, of course, way too much eyeliner. But in the twisted world of 12-step programs, drama has taken on a whole new—and far more sinister—meaning. I first encountered this bizarre usage in an AA meeting in Hollywood, where "drama" was used to dismiss seriously violent situations as if they were no more than tabloid gossip. Someone spoke about child abuse, and someone else waved it away as “drama.” And just like that, real trauma is trivialized and swept under the rug.
12-step programs have mastered the art of reducing horrendous experiences—child abuse, rape, domestic violence—down to the word "drama." But is this really healthy? Of course not! Ask any competent psychologist, and they’ll tell you that real healing comes from processing these painful experiences, not pretending they’re nothing more than a bump in the road.
Take it from my own experience. When I opened up to my therapist, Dan Garcia, about the trauma I faced, including a horrific experience of jail rape, he didn't dismiss it as "drama." He said it was now a part of my story, something I could learn from and use to help others in similar situations. That’s the kind of real, human response trauma deserves—validation, healing, and transformation—not mockery.
The sick thing about 12-step programs is they act like the only real tragedy in life is having a drink. Everything else? Drama. Your abuser? Drama. Your childhood trauma? More drama. You see the pattern? It’s a lazy, harmful way of bypassing the real work of dealing with human suffering.
The idea that trauma is nothing more than drama leaves people without the tools to process, learn, and heal from the darkest parts of their lives. Mocking people’s real struggles for the sake of upholding a rigid anti-drinking doctrine doesn’t just miss the mark—it’s dangerous.
Maybe we should leave "drama" for soap operas, and call trauma what it is: a part of the human experience that deserves attention, understanding, and compassion.
by Dan and Bonkers
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