Have You Taken Your Meds? SNEAK PREVIEW!!! ©2021 – Dan Joyce art


Have You Taken Your Meds? SNEAK PREVIEW!!! ©2021

Posted by Dan Joyce on

 

 

 

        • Have You Taken Your Meds?
        • Dan Joyce
        • ©2021

         

        • Logline - In a desperate effort to heal himself. A mentally ill man explores his life through art trying to figure out how he went insane. The following story is for entertainment only, Although, it is based on the truth of my life. However some changes have been made. Remember, I am not a psychologist, and this is not a prescription for anything. It is simply one case study, but I fear there may be more.

         

        • I sat down to write a short list of things that bother me…
        • Have you taken your meds?
        • You’re lazy. You don’t do enough for me.
        • We’re getting you the help you need.
        • You always come home from Catholic school crying. Toughen up!
        • You’re on the wrong meds or not taking them right.
        • How does that make you feel?
        • Bring in more body language and use feeling words.
        • You need more meds, therapy and treatment for your illness.
        • You’re taking in too much sugar, caffeine, red meat, Cheetos…
        • Don’t use your illness as an excuse.
        • I will help you.
        • God will cure you!
        • People are uncomfortable with you.
        • I don’t believe you’re mentally ill. I don’t see it.
        • Psychos kill people!
        • Get help!
        • It’s all in your head.
        • Don’t take the medicine, it’s bad.
        • You don’t need that psychiatrist and therapist, just because they have a license or a degree doesn’t mean they’re helping you. Don’t trust them.
        • You’re perfectly fine.
        • You’re arguing and talking back is your illness.
        • Just get a job, a car, a house and a mortgage and you won’t have stress.
        • I’ve just got a few things I want you to change.
        • Don’t listen to your counselor, listen to me.
        • You are the problem with the family.
        • There’s one in every family.
        • It’s your problem, you deal with it!
        • You’re cheating the government for money. I work!
        • You’re smart enough to figure this out for yourself.
        • You’re a vegetable.
        • Why can’t you find the right woman? Or man? Or anybody, anybody at all!
        • Your friends made you like this.
        • Child abuse has nothing to do with mental illness.
        • I don’t know if my brother hit me over the head with a brick when I was two. I just have a scar on my head, that’s the only evidence and I’ve heard stories. When you’re two you don’t remember anything. Especially after getting hit over the head with a brick.
        • There’s no such thing as normal, we’re all a little crazy.
        • This is because of the pot you smoked.
        • You need tough love! Go live on the streets!
        • Living here will help you and not just get you away from us.
        • I don’t have what you have, Danny. I have depression, the common cold of mental illness.
        • My psychiatrist says you have the problem, Danny.
        • You’re gonna love me whether you like it or not!
        • I’m gonna give you something to cry about!
        • Let me convince you you’re dangerous!
        • You blame people all the time. That’s what causes all your problems!
        • Aren’t all families dysfunctional?
        • I can show you how to be normal.
        • Your diagnosis is just a label.
        • If you think you’re crazy you’ll be crazy.
        • Do you really think you’re a psycho? That’s a good question. I’ve got a question for you. Do questions help you hear the answers you want?
        • This is an act or a game.
        • Doctors are all drug dealers.
        • Just forget about your traumatic past.
        • I’m going to give therapy to your parents now.
        • Why is Social Security on your job application?
        • I wish I could go to college on government money.
        • They may seem slow but they’re part of our group.
        • If you went to the gym, you wouldn’t have schizophrenia.
        • I ll give you an example. The parents take their son to a psychiatrist and constantly tell him that the boy is not cleaning his room. But what is that a symptom of? Bipolar? Schizophrenia? Depression. No! The kid’s just messy!
        • You’re as sick as your secrets so let’s hear ‘em!
        • We’re turning your housing and your medical coverage over to your sponsor.
        • Don’t go 5150 on me!
        • I think my girlfriend is bipolar.
        • Marijuana and alcohol are harmful drugs. Cigarettes and coffee aren’t.
        • What are the voices saying?
        • There’s a fine line between genius and insanity, guess which side you’re on?
        • Let me teach you how to think right.
        • Everybody has a little bit wrong with them, but some people have a lot
        • Can’t we force therapy and medication! on him a little?
        • What legal resources are therapeutic?
        • To work the steps, we want you to apologize to all the people who have wronged you.
        • The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is 164 pages long. War and Peace is only 1296.
        • I had a drink, I lost my soul, turned into a donkey, and started running around with Pinocchio!
        • We weren’t sure if you needed more acute treatment, so we talked to your parents.
        • My doctor says art and philosophy are bad for your mental health. You need religion and conservative politics.
        • You’re going to put me in the poorhouse. Now go back to your group home.
        • I have the common cold of mental illness. You are very sick.
        • Mom’s shrink is teaching her about something called Tough Love.
        • There’s nothing in the will for you. You need more meds and long term care.
        • So, you went to college and fed yourself. You’re cheating the system.
        • We’re not giving you your inheritance. We’re gonna let go with love.
        • You’re too ill to handle decent living conditions.
        • We asked your doctor if you were pathological.
        • We did the best we could. We can’t help it if that was fucked up!
        • We think homelessness will cure his alcoholism and mental health.
        • Sometimes you have to hit your child.
        • They thought abuse caused mental illness, but that just made the parents feel guilty.
        • You don’t need a job, an apartment, or a girlfriend. You’re getting outpatient.
        • Outpatient is like having a job. So, you don’t really need one.
        • The doctor said I’m the best patient he’s ever had. You’re not!
        • I have love hate feelings for my son. He’s such a handsome boy, but what a fuck up!
        • You’ll never be able to do as much, Danny. You’re mentally ill.
        • I never needed a college degree. I sponsored guys in AA for 10 years.
        • We’re not forcing you to do anything. It’s my house. You’ll do what I say!
        • You’re a grown man. You can take care of yourself. Now treat your sickness!
        • We told your therapist we never hit you.
        • You’re a bad person.
        • Don’t you want to be free and independent? Now take your medicine.
        • You take meds? We've saved a seat for you over here on the group W bench.
        • Why do you go to outpatient on such a short bus?
        • I couldn’t handle having a huge family. There was stress, I felt overloaded. So, I hit you.
        • We weren’t abusive. It’s all in your head. Take your meds. Talk to your therapist. If you don’t, we will.
        • Isn’t the sign of maturity when you stop blaming your parents everything? No, it’s when they stop doing shit to you.
        • I was badly abused as a child. So, what I’m doing to you isn’t really the same thing.
        • The doctor says my mother is pathological. They’re having a session to discuss what to do with me.
        • They say your mental illness is hereditary. But we don’t know where it came from.
        • All you want is money, so we’re taking it away!
        • It doesn’t matter how much or how little you drink. You can have one beer and still be an alcoholic. Yeah, if you’re a mouse.
        • Why did I suddenly need to see your psychiatrist after I asked to see the will?
        • We gave you a curfew, we wouldn’t let you date, we forced you to church, we disapproved of all your friends and you’re rebelling. Why?
        • Chris was my best friend since the 6th I was very protective of him because everybody wanted to be his friend. He had three beautiful sisters and if you want everybody to want to be your friend, have three beautiful sisters. We’ve maintaine our friendship to this day.
        • We were a small clan of stoners in high school. We didn’t do anything that would be in the yearbook or make the school paper that wasn’t illegal, but we had our fun.
        • The clan started with just Stu and Chris, but it grew. Stu called them the Gruesome Twosome, then they include me, Gruesome Threesome, then Dave, the Gruesome Foursome, then we became Gruesome Foursome and friends, the Gruesome Foursome fan club… then the parties started.
        • I left a note on my bed. Mom, not going to school today. Went to the Colosseum to see The Rolling Stones. Will be home late. P.S. took the car. You were a bad boy.
        • Yeah, some kids are. That's why there's treatment.
        • At the concert that Prince got booed off stage and someone throw a bottle at him. George Thorogood played, the J. Geils Band and The Rolling Stones tore down the house. It was a great concert for everyone, except maybe Prince.
        • I don’t fight, I fight back.
        • Who did you get in a fight with? The basketball team.
        • Your conservator says you can’t have a bank account.
        • I love all my children equally, you’re just the one I’m putting away.
        • Spare the rod and spoil the child. Nuff said!
        • I recommend a beating with a belt, because your Child needs to learn violence at the youngest age possible.
        • We found pot in your room That’s what’s making you crazy. You’re getting a big Whooping!
        • My father beat me but I’m grateful for it. He taught me respect. What are you talking about officer? Respect for what? Now I don’t even trust you with a gun.
        • . ...and this is the recreation room where you can have juice and cookies and watch a movie while you work out your troubles.
        • This is a good place. They'll help you quit the drinking and the pot. And just for you doing this we'll buy you a carton of cigarettes once a week.
        • When you have children of your own, you’ll see why I’m doing this.
        • You’re spoiled! My father beat me even worse.
        • I don’t play favorites, but you’ll never be as good at that as your sister.
        • What’s the difference between you and your son who is ill? I’m functional. My husband takes care of me.
        • The psychiatrist said I’m extremely sane after all the abuse I went through, but he didn’t have good things to say about treating you.
        • You don't do anything! Your father goes out and works for IBM all day. You just play with the computer.
        • Our psychiatrist used to be a professional football player for the Bears. He got out of the game when he tackled a player and broke both his arms and legs. He didn’t realize how strong he was.
        • The food’s bad. The nurses yell at you and insult you all day.  The patients are psychotic.  The medicine just knocks you out, You’re incarcerated. Oh please! You’re incarcerated… you complain about everything.
        • So we took away your car so you couldn’t get to your job, we cut you out of the trust fund, we cut your college funds, we wouldn’t help with rent when you were homeless. But not everybody gets the blessings you have.
        • I know they’re all convicts at the sober living, but they’re good people.
        • Make the best of it! Does that hurt?
        • The doctor says you’re self-medicating. Yeah, but my prescription is better. 
        • I went to anger management and they all got mad at me.
        • I WANT MY BONG! THEY WON’T LET ME HAVE IT. I WANNA SHOOT EVERYBODY WITH A GUN AND KILL EVERYBODY! Leonard, feel your feelings.
        • You weren’t serious about college. You were studying graphic design, web development and advertising. You were an art major. Your brother is studying Anthropology.
        • Honey, you're not seeing her when you’re away. I really don't want to win this argument, but you've never seen it in person because you wouldn't. My mom makes fun of you when you're not around. She's not well. She's not like the women you meet at the church.
        • There are nice people everywhere. It just depends on where you go.
        • Your medication is blocking your contact with God.
        • Obsession is actually kind of nice because you’re thinking of somebody else and not yourself, unless you don’t have her permission.
        • In college I got the highest grade in the class, Critical Thinklng, but I don’t argue a lot or cuss people out. That’s not in the rules of critical thinking.
        • I usually call my writing process message in a bottle, but this one is a cry for help!
        • What do you want? Someone to rescue you? No I. just want to sit here and suffer.
        • This is the social worker, he’ll be responsible for your housing, your treatment, your meals, your social security, your 12 step program, talk frequently with your family, your behavior at the group home, and your outpatient program. But if it doesn’t work out the social worker will have another place for you. He’s not a socialist though…
        • We can’t do it on the beach Dan, our parents will kill us. Oh, Dan! You’re wonderful!
        • The sedatives don’t work when you have caffeine
        • Not all artists have to starve, just the ones with no talent or bad family.
        • We passed the guitar on one side and the joint on the other.
        • The punk rock was a strange breed. Back then we didn’t dress up or have funny hair or anything maybe just a leather jacket, some jeans and some boots. We fought, hit and hit it  hard. We were angry and we were loud and the music wasn’t that bad. We were a live fast die young generation. My friend sang with a band called the Adolescents a little. I don’t know the story that well. He knew a lot of people. He had been sent to rehab I think at 14. I quit when he died of an overdose. Party’s over!
        • I don’t want to burn the whole establishment down. I don’t think that would be constructive.
        • Republicans are wrong and should be completely removed, but they're the other half of the population.
        • Most conservatives I listen to. But I don’t want to listen to it from my brother. You shouldn’t have to do that. It’s not that I don’t like your politics, but you’re weird. You’re weird conservative and I’m a weird liberal. I don’t wanna talk politics today. There’s got to be something else we can do together. Do you still collect guns? Remember that time we went to the range? Your I was disappointed. I was hoping everything would blow up and bleed like a. video game. That was the only time I shot a gun. I think I want to shoot a gun again."
        • Everybody believes in God. Why don’t you?
        • At Sex Addicts Anonymous, we make circles to decide for yourself which behaviors you can or can't do.
        • Too many people fail. Don’t try to do art for a living. Do outpatient.
        • LVN is a 13 month program and you become a psyche tech. And you get authority over all the psych patients.
        • I’m a very opinionated writer. Sometimes I’m wrong, but I’m a writer.
        • I got drunk and woke up at your aunt’s house. I was trashed! Actually all I remember of that was pajamas and pillow fights.
        • There was a 24 year old woman at the party. She had sex with you. I lost my virginity in a blackout???
        • Hey boys! Wanna come over and have some beer and watch movies? Ok.
        • You don’t need a degree or experience in psychology to run a board and care. I came from the Philippines where having mental illness is terribly shameful.
        • You have to be here at exactly six to eat your dinner. Tonight, we’re having frozen burritos.
        • We don’t want you to work while you’re here because of your social security. Maybe get a job under the table. But I didn’t say that. Shhh!
        • Why do you want a woman to give you half oral sex and half vaginal sex? This is goals group.
        • I own IBM. I own Amazon. I own Microsoft. I own Bell Air. I own God. He’s on my payroll.
        • I have multiple personality disorder. That wasn’t me
        • They’re just like you.
        • They say we’re working towards going to school or getting a job, but everybody’s ignorant and unemployed.
        • Mental illness and alcoholism can cause a secondary disease in those around us called Codependency. They suffer from the desire to control us.
        • We came to family group to support our daughter who has recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia. But we don’t know much about it. We want all the literature, books and information you have videos too. She’s so pretty. In fact she’s a cheerleader for the Spartans, honor society, good grades and a nice young man from a tycoon who has been seeing her. We love her so much and want to support her as much as we can until we can heal her.”
        • year later…
        • THAT BITCH! THAT BITCH! THAT FUCKING CRAZY BITCH! WE WANT TO PUT HER AWAY! ANYWHERE, NORWALK METROPOTILAN, SYBIL BRAND! WHATCHA GOT!
        • How did she contract this illness?
        • And we give you a gym membership. Just sign up for the HMO!
        • My counselor is ordered from the probation department. I’m not telling him anything.
        • You act like a caged animal. You’re not a caged animal. Now go back to your unit.
        • We all have our troubles.
        • All in order. The state conservatorship trial. Can we hear from the family?
        • Alright Dr. This is what I came up with, I want him to get up on time, go to bed early, eat right, exercise, clean up, not drink, no pot, hold a regular job, support himself, maintain his own place, date and marry a good Catholic woman, watch his temper, take his meds, go to therapy, no improve his grades, shave and groom himself, listen to healthy music, painting nudes, study engineering, stay away from the neighbors…, OK that’s enough, that’s longer than Santa’s list
        • This is the last house on the block. That’s ok!
        • The help I need is a lawyer
        • Alcoholics Anonymous is so desperate to recruit they define alcoholism as anything. They say you can be a good family man, that you can have a successful career, a doctor, a CEO, a priest, you can have a P.H.D. Taking care of your mother... It doesn't matter how much or how little you drank??? How does that work??? That’s not true. It’s a disease that can affect anyone. What about all those famous people?
        • In AA, there’s no medical involvement at any time. They discourage it because it might make you drink.
        • I’m an acholic because I like the affect produced by alcohol. I don’t. I love the taste of Bud Light.
        • The scientists found a gene for alcoholism. It’s somewhere on the 5thChromosome on the third genome. I’m not a scientist, but in this case they’re right.
        • Mom’s lawyer just confiscated my medicine. She gave it. to him. I’ll try to get it back tonight. He’ll be at the meeting.
        • My mother asked for treatment from my therapist. Two sessions and I’m almost institutionalized.
        • I told the college intern I wanted to talk about something heavy. She said she could handle it. I told her about the jail rape. She started screaming and bouncing around like Daffy Duck. She couldn’t handle it.
        • The psychologist is bound by law to keep secret everything I say. So I just fuck with him.
        • Why in the world would you come home with that horrible mentally ill woman? Because you put me in a mental institution.
        • Then why didn’t you work? You put me in boarding homes and institutions. We weren’t allowed to work. They had a candy store in one. Me and Tracy ran it. They trusted us with the money.
        • We got romantic so often, I don’t remember sleeping.
        • Now that I have the conservatorship, I can just put a pair of handcuffs on her and lock her up in an institution. At least you’re not impersonating a police officer.
        • How was meditation group? Dan and Tracy made out the whole time it was dark.

         

        • At the college, they call me soft porn, because of the way I dress.

         

        • Sammy, did you fuck my girlfriend? I just was bringing some beer over.
        • When you got a pretty girl like that, who has a drive like that, you can’t just watch her. You gotta watch everybody around you.

         

        • I think everybody hears voices.
        • Here, my dad gave me some money. Act like you’re my sugar daddy at the mall.
        • The pattern is that the voices get them laughing as their closest friend. Then they would, they would turn on her. You could hear the cries of anguish late into the night.
        • You called the Police and put me in the hospital. I’m going to leave you little boy!
        • We’re gonna have a baby!
        • I’ve heard of some weird fashion trends, but I just watched Tracy Knowlton escape the mental institution by jumping the wall in her Neiman Marcus high heeled shoes.
        • We like Tracy, Dan. She’s schizophrenic, crazy. That’s what we like about her. She’s totally punk.
        • I don’t think you can flunk parenting class, but I pretty much did.
        • I was granted four monitored visits of my son during the trial. I’m your father. Pour ques?
        • I just wanted visitation. But the public defender, the child services and Tracy’s lawyer all had this insane idea that I was gonna get back together with Tracy and raise a family. Now, the fact is we broke up so horribly, dramatically, badly the first time, why in the hell would we want to do that again?
        • Your honor, this could have been a bad idea, in fact it was a bad idea, but we were only together for a few months and I don’t think me and Tracy are compatible. So for the sake and health and well being of the child, and for the Hell of the both of us, I don’t think this is a good idea.
        • I watched the Child Services social workers, fat, dyke, never-gonna-have-a -baby women high five in victory as they tore a baby from her mother’s arms. It broke Tracy.
        • Her room was filled with children’s toys in a haunting image of her desire for motherhood and family.
        • Tracy’s up the street at our board and care. She’s the hood rat. You really just did that? You called the mother of my child a hood rat? If I were you, I’d get up, leave the room and leave the house. Don’t come back before I get the fuck out of you!
        • Dan that painting is me. Somehow you painted me
        • Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton (Tracy’s Song)
        • 25) It's late in the evening, she's wondering what clothes to wear
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight"

We go to a party and everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady that's walking around with me
And then she asks me "Do you feel all right?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight"

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you

It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight
        • We had your child put up for adoption because I didn’t want to have to take care of him. It was a tough decision
        • Thorazine – an unpleasant vacation from thought. Ask your doctor about Thorazine… if you don’t want to do anything all day.
        • I know smoking is bad for you and you die, but I kind of want to die. You kill yourself one puff at a time. If you ever want to kill yourself just a little, you can always have a smoke. 
        • I know it’s hard to quit smoking. I said a prayer and  I quit when I found God. He came to me in a vision of glory. The cherubs and the angels wept. I immediately threw my cigarettes away. I saw his heavenly face. I haven’t smoked nor had the desire to smoke since that day eight years ago and it doesn’t bother me. So I just go home  and ask God for a spiritual revelation!
        • To drink is to die! Gonna happen some day.
        • One beer doesn’t do anything. You might as well have a Pepsi. Don’t risk relapse!
        • I never really knew my son. It’s even hard for me to remember how old he is. I think it was best for him, the family that raised him. It was still heartbreaking. He was my boy. I wanted to play ball with him, I wanted to help him with his math, I wanted to teach him guitar. I figured I’m an artist so he should be a musician. Raise my to be a rock star. I’d be a cool dad
        • What led up to my conviction I was starving and  panhandling outside the am/pm for food and cheap cigars on my 50th birthday. Now her and my angry sister-in-law are saying I had food. They testified
        • The police said I would be charged with breaking and entering. I was convicted of felony strike residential burglary. I didn't steal anything. I just went into my mothers home without her permission. She also issued a restraining order for elder abuse.
        • I got three months served, three years, probation, a felony on my record so I couldn't work and mental health.
        • On  my 70th birthday, your sister took me to Paris. Look I have pictures!
        • I’m not bailing you out and I took away your money.
        • What’s your full name? Daniel Larry Joyce. Do you have any disabilities? Bipolar. Is there any reason you can’t work? I don’t want to make money. Do you need me to repeat the charges?
        • Court is a hard place to win, due to my mental illness. All they have to do is say I’m bipolar and I’ve lost the case. I don’t know how many times that was used as evidence against me.
        • Tracy was a tramp, Dan. Mom.
        • I’m a victim of society and amateur psychology and abusive parents and a bad neighborhood and a union job… but you can’t blame me, I was born an alcoholic.
        • All my life I’ve tried to be good. 99% of the time I have. It’s just that damn one percent.
        • I was inspired to start painting, when I saw a picture by van Gogh in an encyclopedia. He was mentally ill and I could relate. Then I found out he cut off his ear killed himself and didn’t make a dime. I started studying Andy Warhol.

         

        • When anybody steals my art, I consider it a compliment. They went out of their way.

         

        • As an artist, I meet a lot of people. I was outside a gallery one day when I met a strange campaign representative and signed her petition. I told her that my political concerns dealt with mental health awareness and asked her how her candidate felt. she ranted that the psychiatrists of the 1970’s were part of a conspiracy against women that doped them up with Valium, and that all men in therapy were sexist. The candidate she represented was the state assemblywoman who I had tried to speak with before but had no luck. I was beginning to think it was better that way.
        • Being the ranting Facebook poster that I am, I wrote about my experience trying to talk to that volunteer, and the crazy hostility. I had tried to speak to the candidate herself about mental health awareness three times unsuccessfully and that after the evening’s encounter with her volunteer, would she please erase my name off her petition. I went to bed and thought nothing of it. The next morning, I got a call, “You’re having lunch with the state assemblywoman!” I took this literally thinking it would mean hamburgers and stuff, but no… When I met the state assemblywoman that afternoon, she was very angry…

         

        • Can you help me find a housing program? I’m not very good at this.
        • As artists, we sometimes do something meant to be creative, and some people see it as rude, or wrong. They will get pissed at us, while we were just trying something out.” (Or, “while we were just experimenting. I was in a class of life drawing, drawing nudes from actual models. Then the time came, and she took off her clothes. She was smiling at me. I thought I’d draw something a little fun. It sounds bad, but usually it’s not. You just try to study the figure and do something classical like Michelangelo or Bernini. This drawing looked like Hustler magazine, the teacher talked to me after class. It got me kicked off Facebook.
        • When You’re chatting everything to your therapist on the phone, you need a girlfriend
        • You were a good critic and a good friend. Sorry it didn’t work out. That was probably my fault. I wore on you and drained you and pestered you and became too much. But I like talking to you and I did enjoy that time. You said we have nothing in common. Let’s look at the similarities. You have a vast education in art, a lot of critics don’t. You’re extremely knowledgeable in literature and I like to write. I think you even like musical theater. You have a lot more in common with me than a football fan. I’m sorry I accused you of all those things you didn’t do. I was thinking about a lot of other people. I got mad at everybody and I thought they were you. It was a case of mistaken identity. Maybe we could see each other again someday and you could look at one of my drawings or read something I wrote and tell me what you think. I promise I won’t be so sensitive this time.
        • Dan really does like you Dave. He just gets hurt because he thinks that you like him. Is he gay? We don’t know. We don’t think he knows. He’s really kind of confused.
        • If you’re not crazy when you get to a mental institution, you will be when you get out.
        • Why did you attempt suicide? Because the treatment made my life so good.
        • The AA big book is often referred to by the counselor in psychiatric group settings and of course it’s widely used in AA; That makes him dual diagnosis.
        • We need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. Well technically I’m not an alcoholic anymore. So I can write whatever the fuck I want!
        • You mean to say you haven’t been kidnapped raped tortured butt fucked, and murdered by a Columbian cartel YET.
        • I don’t think AA is a cult. I think it’s a religion. All religions have stupid things they say and they’re easy to debunk. Purgatory is not like heaven but a little like Hell but you can get out or you can be there for a really long time. You have a higher power a, God that you get to make up. We all believe in Him and we believe in your Gods too. We live in a free tolerant confusing overpopulated spiritual community. God bless AA. 12 Step and religions can be stupid, in cults you disappear.
        • 151. Do you know why I’m trying to get you to shave, brush your teeth, do your hair and look better? Cause you’re gay.
        • Passive is giving up your coffee. Assertive is buying your coffee and letting others do the same. Aggressive is taking someone else’s coffee. Passive Aggressive is poisoning their coffee.

         

        • All your problems are of your own making. Even your parents beating you.
        • In art group, I’ve been working on my watercolors. This is a picture of you. That looks like a penis.
        • Draw an image that best describes you… Well it’s a puppet and it’s got strings and people pull them.
        • We don’t like him, but he’s gonna need more treatment.
        • I know this is a slummy boarding building and you have no money, your family is abusive and you’ve lost everything. Just take a few deep breaths, things are getting better.
        • Why are you standing here asking for money? Are you on drugs? No, my family took my job then they made me see a psychiatrist and told him stuff about me and then they put me in a mental institution and… Here’s a buck!
        • Mom I need help! There’s nothing I can do. I’m busy running the apartments.
        • I didn’t just play guitar and draw pictures in my homeless days in LA. I made friends and saw many types of people who live on the street: runaways from abusive parents, gays rejected by their families, soldiers who were not properly cared for, mentally ill folks of all kinds, immigrants looking for the American dream, and of course people struggling with drugs and alcohol, but not everyone was a alcoholic or an addict.
        • Sensitive people won’t make this program, but we welcome everybody
        • Denial is not a river in Egypt. Some people don’t know what you should look for to determine if you’re an alcoholic… Empty bottles!
        • It’s just too hard on us to visit you all poor and desperate. Your mental illness is too depressing.
        • Tell me about your dreams. Scary.
        • I Don’t need a psychiatrist or therapist like you. I just go to the family doctor and take one Prozac and I’m fine.
        • Your sister has a good job and is very wealthy. So, she can drink a case of beer a day.
        • For years I didn't know what I was taking. That's bad, because if you miss a dose, you don't know where to find it.
        • Mom there's 12 containers. I don't know which ones to take? Just count to 12.
        • Hello? Hello? Yes I’m here. I’m just listening. That’s what we do on the help line. Yes, but I can’t tell on the other side of the phone. If you listen silently, it can sound like you’ve hung up”
        • This is mania. It’s like a drunkenness. You’re really happy and you get poor judgement. I’d see the doctor but he’s the one that messed it up I think. He just started seeing me. So I don’t think he had enough information on me. I should go to AA. They have a bunch.
        • We told the doctor about your compulsive spending. You can’t have money. We can.
        • We want to take control of his finances. He’s not budgeting his government check.
        • We're family members. We paid for this group.
        • If you had a bad relationship with your mother, your girlfriends will be just like her when you grow up. I’m fucked!
        • No, I’ve had girlfriends that weren’t like my mother and she didn’t like them.
        • I had been dating Gina for a few months, and thought it was just casual, but she really wanted to meet my family. So when we drove to Disneyland, we stopped off to visit my family. Gina sat on the couch and they all just stared at her.
        • I’m gonna end up being a hooker! Don’t worry about it, Gina, you’re never gonna make it in that field.
        • Mom, my girlfriend screams at me and yells at me and cusses me out! She’s good for you.”
        • That abusive AA sponsor was good for you. We talked to him on the phone.
        • All of the 12 steps came from a now defunct Christian cult called the Oxford group and after his spiritual experience, Bill copywrote them and that’s the history of AA. You’re on your way to getting sober kid. I believe in you.
        • I've been clean and sober a couple decades, but I had a beer on New Year's Eve. So, I had to start over. I didn't like the beer. It tastes bad. It tasted bad back then. I just wanted to be cool.
        • Did I offend you? No, why? Sometimes I get a little careless and joke around too much not thinking about what I do. It’s called mania, it’s like a drunkenness, but really happy. I shouldn’t have just told you that, but sometimes you have to explain yourself. Like when you get caught with your hand in the candy jar. No, it’s insanity mom.
        • In the movie, The Caine Mutiny, Humphrey Bogart plays a paranoid captain. Every time he thinks people are against him, he jiggles two steel balls in his hand. I hate the symbolism of that. So, an admiral figures out this pattern and realizes it’s from paranoia. He knows this from something he had read. He tells everybody. Later, the ship is in a crisis situation, and Bogart starts doing that. They use this as an excuse to overthrow the ship. But if he was delusional and his fears real, why did they overthrow the ship? The message is that paranoid people sometimes do things overtly or subconsciously to make their worst nightmare come true. It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy. I may be doing it to you.
        • I’ve started a meeting of Dual Diagnosis anonymous. If you are an alcoholic or addict and in psychiatric care you are welcome. We honor your time. Thursday afternoon at the church. It’s a terrific supportive group. We are not doctors but may give advice. It’s a great place to be clean and sober and we have a lot of fun when the nurses aren’t looking
        • You’re playing a guilt trip on me. That’s impossible.
        • My biggest fear is that my paranoia is not an illusion.
        • It doesn’t help to be right all the time. You can be wrong. Try being wrong one day at a time.
        • Mother, the medicine has been making my hand shake so bad I won’t be able to paint. I know but we want what’s best for you.
        • We don’t do art therapy anymore. Other than a cathartic release we found it had little benefit at all and the paint cost too much.
        • You fried your brain on drugs. I smoked pot in High School.
        • Then why didn’t you work? You put me in boarding homes and institutions. We weren’t allowed to work. They had a candy store in one. Me and Tracy ran it. They trusted us with the money.
        • I have a higher sex drive than most people. That’s ok, we’ll talk about it.
        • We got romantic so often, I don’t remember sleeping.
        • Now that I have the conservatorship, I can just put a pair of handcuffs on her and lock her up in an institution. At least you’re not impersonating a police officer.
        • How was meditation group?
        • Her room was filled with children’s toys in a haunting image of her desire for motherhood and family.
        • Laura’s Law will allow your family to have you evaluated and hospitalized without your permission. Wanna sign the petition?
        • By law, the mentally ill are entitled to a jury of our peers, not a jury of our victims.
        • He told the counselor that his father burned him with a cigarette and they reported it. What a thing to do!
        • It’s easy to explain the cigarette scar. He was fighting with him.
        • He doesn’t always hit me usually he just grabs me throws me on the ground puts my head down and forces my chest into the cement until I suffocate. He goes to parent groups
        • At the group they teach us that it's not our fault. They teach you that it's mine.
        • Dad I got back from AA today I just quit drinking and pot. WAIT! DAD! NO DAD NO! DAD NO! STOP DAD DAD DAD STOP NO!
        • The police asked me why you called them and not me.
        • You're different. Cops don't usually have sympathy. The word is empathy. That's where I learned the word empathy. I never heard it before.
        • Next they’ll be calling that child abuse
        • Mom, my lawyer says he’s representing you now.
        • Bankruptcy cases are simple. The lawyer takes all your money. Then he tells you you’re bankrupt.
        • At AA they kept saying bipolar moment about their anger and laughing. I think that's mean. What if Bipolar people said stuff like that about you? I just had an alcoholic moment. I peed on the lawn.
        • Don’t be a victim! Be strong! nobody likes a victim. I spent ten years in prison. I don’t like victims.
        • Why do you like that angry depressing music?
        • I like Donald Trump. I didn't vote for him. Hell no! I just think he's cool. He's crazy, like me!
        • I fired him Trump style. You’re fired! Remember when he was cool and not the president?
        • Sex is only for procreation, not just love.
        • Children obey your parents… no matter what!
        • Honor your mother and father but not yourself.
        • My perfect place is the graveyard.
        • I refer to Tracy as the mother of my child. I don’t like the term baby momma. Sounds like you just pumped one out. Yeah, she’s good at making babies, that’s about it.
        • Hey! I got some terrible news at the clinic. Mom is pathological. We just found out!
        • There's no bound secrecy in AA. It's just an honor system. So if they have honor, you're good.
        • I know you're my AA sponsor, but are you sure I should just use you and not the therapist because therapists don't know what they're doing?
        • AA doesn’t talk politics. But I like your stance on Vietnam. After talking to you I realized what I learned about it was staunch and rigid and wrong. But we’ll have to split on AA.
        • Thanks for inviting me to lunch. Libertarianism is a nice political philosophy, but I don’t want to hear it while I’m eating.
        • I can’t stand conspiracy theories. They’re hard to follow and they’re delusional. They need to get a proper diagnosis, and start taking meds for that. I had a girlfriend who kept going on about them. I hung up on her. She kept calling and I kept hanging up.
        • It’s not smart to flirt with somebody you’re not interested in. I mean you can do it, but I don’t think the outcome’s gonna be good.
        • I never knew you were an intelligent regular person. I always thought you were just a transient suffering.
        • You’re not old enough to talk politics.
        • My brain needed to be washed by AA.
        • College Days: Sit down, you’re pretty. Thank you, would you like a brownie? Yes, are you sitting next to me because I’m handsome? Class I am now passing out the test.
        • I didn’t have much to write about college, just learning stuff!
        • Natalie always tried to get me to smoke pot with her, but I didn’t because I was on probation. That’s why she liked me, I’m an outlaw.
        • Dan you’ve done such a good job teaching me, all the girls at Chapman College want art lessons. Can you do it? Oh yeah!
        • You don’t have to be naturally talented or gifted to be an artist. Just do what you want and give me the money for the lessons.
        • We covered some sensitive issues in the meetings, but clearly Curtis was a man who didn’t know his own strength. When we talked about his friend having terminate her pregnancy, because of potential deformities he lost it, THE BABY! THE BABY! THEY HAD TO ABORT THE BABY! It’s hard to accurately describe the moment, but you know how when someone is pounding on the table… and the whole room is shaking too!!! Suddenly, I had to go to the bathroom.
        • I used to get drunk and beat up marines for fun.
        • Becky was his nice girl girlfriend, but I knew not to mess with her, because I’d have to deal with him.
        • I’m a drug and alcohol counselor now. I would not wanna drink and show up in his office!
        • If a person has bipolar or schizophrenia they should always have the option available to seek treatment for themselves.. It should not be forced. They’re gonna hear it from someone. No one becomes that mentally ill and is the last one to know.
        • My brain needed to be washed by AA.
        • They said the marijuana didn’t cause my mental illness. They said it was caused by you!
        • You're a brilliant artist. You're a genius. No, I don't know how to do laundry, I don't know how to cook. Geniuses know everything.
        • I’m just an insane genius who never applied himself.
        • It’s a God of your understanding. One that you make up. Your Higher Power, ever member has one and we believe them all. What if my Higher Power gets in a fight with your Higher Power?

         

        • Don't worry about that. That's. my 4th step. It's all over the place.
        • 4th step stuff
        • I promise you I will never do that again and I will never take another drink in my life if I have to die first.
        • When this Is all done, I'll either be rich or kill myself or both, but I'll go to a meeting first.
        • We’re goin’ to go get run over by a train! WHAT THE FUCK???
        • Allen Ginsberg had a huge legal battle over his monumental poem Howl that moved an entire generation. Whatever happened to fighting censorship?
        • A lot of my books were banned, Not by the government, but by people I pissed off. Why do you do it? I do it to challenge this country. I wanna fight for it.
        • I wanted to establish that the main character had become a garbled mess, so I used myself for reference.
        • For research I sought help from people who were whacked out and unprofessional. So, I chose and environment that was completely insane. An environment that was a harm to themselves and others. I went to 12-step groups.
        • When I discovered my girlfriend was 14 years old, I hit bottom.
        • I felt guilty when I killed a man drunk driving that increased my drinking. But when I killed a man in a barfight, the judge exonerated me because I’m an upstanding member of Alcholics Anonymous.
        • The gentlemen came in and said it was the best thing for our daughter. Next thing you know she was smoking cigarettes getting tattoos and dating a convict, but she doesn’t drink.
        • It’s not such a bad thing to be sober. It’s just the way they go about doing it.
        • Alcoholics Anonymous, New York Central office. Yes, I have a question. If a woman is sexually assaulted or raped in AA What legal services do you offer? The Yellow Pages. My homegroup didn’t believe me.”
        • My drinking is really bad. It’s affecting my college and my modeling. Should I go to AA? Try to moderate.
        • I’m 50% Mexican on my mother’s side. I’m proud of my coloring. I don’t speak Spanish or anything. She told us not to tell anybody.
        • I want to be famous for my art. I’ve put too much work into it.
        • The ideations started in Junior High. A girl at my school committed suicide. I thought it was cool.
        • I tried suicide after high school. I got a job at a grocery store. I wasn't popular. They didn't like me at all and were mean, sometimes threatening. They would act strange to confuse me. My dad got me that. job. I was hired on as a scab, then permanent.’
        • Following that I worked as a teller for a bank for about a year. I hadn’t really had any symptoms yet. Things started freaking out. They said I was throwing the money at the customers. There was a lot of stress. The bank insurance paid for a two week. psychiatric hospital visit. I was put on medicine and started to think clearly. My mother told my job what happened. Two days after returning to work I was fired. I left the bank in 1985. The American Disabilities Act was passed by George H. Bush in1990
        • Early on the other kids in AA talked me into going to an AA based rehab. It had a jacuzzi and they. Fed us steak and lobster. There was even talk of movie stars.I got drunk in there three times. Cost my dad’s insurance $60,000. H e but me on social security because he couldn’t afford my medical expenses. They were good about getting me the right meds.
        • Your joking is a defense mechanism.
        • Then tell me why I do it? I’m not a comedian. I don’t want to go on a stage somewhere in a night club, tell jokes and meet women.”
        • Why do you make such inappropriate jokes? I was a street musician on Venice Beach. I started writing serious songs and poems about the situation, but it didn’t work. Then I made funny songs with my guitar and funny jokes about my homelessness and they gathered. Sometimes all you can do is laugh.
        • Mom gets real mad about most of my jokes, jokes about drugs or alcohol, jokes about violence, jokes about human trafficking… she doesn’t laugh at anything.
        • When you get hit by a train, you get hit by the engine not the caboose. When I get hit, it’s not the engine or the caboose. I get hit by the whole damn train.
        • They had a party for me. A woman mailed in one of my books and they thought I was famous. They drugged me, a piece of paper in my coffee. They called it a happy card. Why would they do that?
        • It’s called grooming, something rapists do.
        • What now? You heal but it never completely goes away. It becomes part of your story.”
        • What? My story? I don’t like that story. I want a better story.
        • So, then the jail Rape memories go away? No, the just get real small. What happens to them? They become part of your story What??? I’m not telling that fucking shit at a meeting!!! No people you trust, in confidence. Oh, like hey! Did ever tell you about the jail rape?
        • You won’t do that!
        • You’ll understand. You’ll understand in time.
        • Why didn’t you tell anyone? I didn’t think they’d believe me.
        • Your dysfunctional family is the disease. The jail rape was but a symptom.
        • Have you ever kissed or held a man? I had a couple relationships in LA, but none before or after. Do you consider yourself gay? No. Then why did you do it? That's what everyone was doing. When in Rome do as the Roman's. When in Hollywood be fabulous.

         

        • Your mother's pathological, there's no treatment for it. How long does she have?
        • You want a loving caring mother and you’re never gonna get one. That hurts worse than the belt.
        • Mom, last year I was raped in jail. Just let go of the past.
        • Tell me what you see about your mother?
        • Sometimes I get this image of a beautiful Spanish woman holding me as a child and I’ve always loved the Mexican in me.
        • I attempted suicide twenty times and failed. It's an interesting fact that when you attempt suicide twenty times and fail, they stop testing your sanity and start testing your competency.
        • I’m not gonna kill myself, I’m just gonna be miserable for a long time.
        • Have ever been intimate with a woman?
        • More than my fingers. Maybe toes too.
        • Where did you have all this sex? Usual places, motels, apartments, front lawn of UCLA… WHAT? Yeah, I just went into their library, grabbed a book and pretended I was a student.
        • Do you have a girlfriend?
        • No just Karen, She's my BBPFF best bipolar friends forever. The abbreviation's wrong. She came up with it. We say that because they don't like bipolar in AA. We go to meetings, groups, hangout...
        • How long has this been going on?
        • I think two years. We’re not boyfriend girlfriend. She’s only really kissed me once."
        • Does your mother go to AA?
        • No she's not an alcoholic. She goes to Alanon.
        • Actually mom didn’t go to Alanon. She went to other groups that were based on Alanon. Alanon asked her for money. You know they have a hat that everybody puts a dollar if they want? But you’re really pressured to put in.
        • I never put any money in the AA basket. I figured I’d pay them when it works for me.
        • Do you go to AA? I hate it! I hate every minute of it with a cigarette break. The mock me, they harass me, they threaten me, they stalk me because I’m different because I’m not one of them and I’m never gonna be and the only way to be an alcoholic is to drink.
        • They don’t stalk me now, they don’t know what city I’m in. I had to get run out of town to get rid of them.
        • If I quit Alcoholics Anonymous or stop taking the meds, mom will get mad at me. I can't imagine what she'll do.
        • Where is Karen now?
        • She's homeless. I wish I could help, but I can't.
        • You're not going to tell my mother?
        • No we have a strict privacy policy. We're bound by law. We can't even contact her unless you ask."
        • That's ok I won't!
        • I know what you've been through. Trust me. You're my client, not hers.
        • How long is the therapy session? Because I can't be here too long. I gotta go plan my funeral.
        • That's the session. Hey why don't you give Karen a call?"
        • Karen! It's Dan. You won't believe what I talked about in therapy, but first you gotta sign something.
        • I was coerced into seeing my mother's psychiatrist when I was 16. I'm not really sure why. He didn't seem to know what he was doing, but I couldn't tell. I was a scared boy. I thought he could read my mind. He wanted to prescribe me something that was a major tranquilizer. I don't know why. I said no. I started questioning my sanity. His latest kick was that he was interested in AA. They kicked him out. So of course, he sent me there and I didn't have a choice. I didn't really drink, I smoked pot and it was far less potent back then. He told my mother I had to go, living at home I had no choice. I called AA and they sent me to a young people's meeting. I went there and I hated it. I told my mother it was only on Sunday. Eventually I got out of going. When I turned 21 I drank a bit. One weekend evening I wanted to go out, but I had no money so I went to AA. My parents didn't even know I drank. They love bombed me. They had harsh insane funny stories about getting trashed beyond reason and really sick things. They made it sound cool. I didn't drink that much, So I learned to. That started it, the real problem. I became a worse drinker going to AA than I could imagine
        • There is no good reason to drink. If you can find a legitimately good reason. I'll have one with you. Wait! The L.A. Chargers cheerleaders just invited us to their party!
        • Therapists don’t prescribe medication. He just talks to me and listens to me. Not a lot of people do that ya know. We did mock interviews I got a job and car. I still get the suicidal stuff but as I get older it doesn’t matter as much. I had nice art show at a pretty good gallery. I painted famous people with mental illness. The idea was to show people we're not that bad. Dad died of cancer and mom is living well into her 90s. I didn’t go to therapy for it. It was easy grieving.
        • When I first went to AA, I really liked it. I liked the fellowship, I liked the comradery, I liked the understanding, I liked the love, and I liked drinking too.
        • You weren’t serious about college. You were studying graphic design, web development and advertising. You were an art major. Your brother is studying Anthropology.
        • Honey, you're not seeing it. I really don't want to win this argument, but you've never seen it in person because you wouldn't. My mom makes fun of you when you're not around. She's not well. She's not like the Christian women you meet at the church.
        • There’s nice people everywhere. It just depends on where you go.
        • The good jobs In my field were in LA county. So when they took the car I couldn’t get to them or an interview, just maybe McDonald’s and I won’t do that. But why think I’m’ better than just because I worked real hard and got a college education?
        • If Acoholics Anonymous ever falls something will come to take it’s place. Let’s just hope it’
        • You think you’re smart don’t you? No, but relatively speaking, I think you’re really dumb,
        • In LA I met Charlie Sheen a couple times. I don’t think he’d remember me. Then again, I’m hard to forget.
        • I asked him for change for the bus and he gave me a $20 bill. I didn’t take it, but I should have. First rule of panhandling is take what you can get!
        • When I finally recognized him, I told him he reminds me of James Dean. He hung his head, puffed a cigarette, looked up at me and said, Cool! I think I made a friend.
        • Obsession is actually kind of nice because you’re thinking of somebody else and not yourself, unless you don’t have her permission.
        • Mom, I know you don’t like it when I say dad hit me, but you can at least admit he got physical. I worked on it. You both come from a generation that knew absolutely nothing about mental illness other than what you saw in the movies. You may have learned about it in therapy, but he didn’t. He was working all the time he didn’t have any time to register in a community college class and take a course in bipolar. He was scared. He wanted to protect his family. When I got upset he didn’t see it as a treatable biological chemical imbalance of the brain that affects certain cognitive thoughts. He was thinking psycho killer! I haven’t forgiven him, but I’m beginning to forget a bit and of course accept. And now, sometimes I go to his grave when no one is looking and I throw him a right hook! Its beautiful.
        • You laugh but you could be an insane murder like Charlie Manson. No, Manson wasn’t mentally ill, he faked it to beat the death penalty. I have it or at least everybody convinced me I have it.
        • I saw Charlie Manson’s last parole hearing. The interviewer says something like, Do you feel you’ve reformed? Manson says, poof! The interviewer then says something like What are your plans if we release you? Again, he says, poof. This may look insane, but if Manson was schizophrenic, he wouldn’t be directly responding to the interviewer like that. His lips and eyes would be moving and responding to the voices . He would be distracted by voices and hallucinations, then say something stupid. The whole thing was an act.

         

        • If Manson wasn’t crazy then why did he kill all those people? He was bad, he was a dark soul. I’m not going to debate the existence of God nor defend any religion or metaphysics or some other brain fuck philosophy like that, but we know through just looking at history=the evidence of evil is there. Most mentally ill people aren’t like that. We’re just different and that makes people uncomfortable. A perfect world could not host evil. The universe is imperfect. Expect it to be!

         

        • What about Hitler. Ok, you’re a psychologist. There’s no evil. Explain this! A guy takes control of his country, kills six million Jews. What was he thinking?

         

        • Do you go to church? Do you even want to go to church? Sure, what time? When are you picking me up? I have a rule that if anybody invites me to their church, I’ll go once. Unless it’s something like the Branch Dividians then I just end up staying and disappear.

         

        • How can a fine artist make can money off religion

         

        • Go to a church, maybe two or three times

         

        • Meet the pastor and give him a painting

         

        • I think the sane people can figure it out, but I don’t know.

         

        • It’s a God of your understanding. One that you make up. Your Higher Power, ever member has one and we believe them all. What if my Higher Power gets in a fight with your Higher Power? 
        • I will be moving back in town tomorrow. I mean next month. It would be good to see you. You're doing really well. I like to see people I've known for a long time. The one's who don't restraining orders.
        • Just don’t tell them you see a psychiatrist. They find out! It’s not hard to figure out!.    
        • So, I’m going to a government low income apartment building where I used to live. A lot of mentally iil people live there. It’s a bad neighborhood.
        • In my early 20’s, My parents owned property in a bad neighborhood. They moved me in to make it better, but I made it get worse.

         

        • That’s where where I met Natalie, a young Mexican gangster. Can we still say Mexican? Someone corrected me in a restaurant the other day. So she was a Latina hottie. Kinda looked like Selma Hayek And we were standing int he allies smoking marijuana, correcton Cannabis.

         

        • I’m good at making babiews. Wanna make a baby? You just took the fun out of it.

         

        • I’m 50% Mexican on my mother’s side. I’m proud of my coloring. I don’t speak Spanish or anything. She told us not to tell anybody.
        • This shit’s good. Usually I usually have to drive to San Diego by the border to get this stuff. You have a car? How would you like to be a homeboy?
        • Unemployed and out college, turned to a life of crime.
        • Natalie

         

        • CHORDS: G C D

         

        • Took her to the desert casino
        • Took her to the music show
        • Spent the night in Pasadena
        • Woke next morn in Indio

         

        • Everybody wanted to meet her
        • As we’re running from the law
        • Everywhere we wanted to be there
        • Got the money from my mom

         

        • Going to the church revival
        • Spent the evening talking to God
        • Drove our way to Tijuana
        • Running up our credit cards

         

        • Everybody wanted to meet her
        • As we’re running from the law
        • Everybody wanted to be there
        • Got the money from my mom

         

        • Natalie you’re three sheets crazy
        • Natalie you’re a big crack pot
        • Natalie my mind is hazy
        • Natalie you’re my kind of nut

         

        • I’m dropped off in government housing
        • Nothing in my wallet at all
        • Looking for her speaking Spanish
        • No one in the parking lot

         

        • Natalie you’re three sheets crazy
        • Natalie you’re a big crack pot
        • Natalie my mind is hazy
        • Natalie you’re my kind of nut

         

         

         

         

        • So the neighbor was a cocaine addict and he wanted us to trade his old wood box TV. We finally fit in in my Honda Excel. Drove it across town, lugged it up two flights of stair on the fire escape and took it to the dealer.
        • I can’t take that TV it’s obviously stolen.
        • Dude you’re a drug dealer why do you care if we break the law?

         

        • Running drugs for a gang, I got hooked on the product.

         

        • So exactly how much cocaine did you intend to buy in this neighborhood?”
        • “Five dollars officer.”
        • “Go home!”
        • That was the first time I was busted in a dope deal and the police immediately released me on the grounds that I was pathetic.

         

        • We all get together and jump you and beat you up. Then you’re in the gang. I’ll pass.

         

        • Ir was awkward facing facing my family the next day the next day
        • What’d you do? Just a little boxing at the gym.
        • and Mrs. Joyce, Dan turned me in for selling drugs, but he was my biggest customer.
        • As much as I enjoyed my life of crime, I had to leave the bad neighborhood on sudden notice. I was overstaying my welcome with some really dangerous guys. One of them is doing a life sentence for killing two people in a road rage and another one shot a cop. I should’ve listened to my mother when she was picking out my friends.

         

        • I’ll give you an example, a reputable businessman is going down the street shouting the building’s on fire or its a psychopathic drunk transient shouting the building’s on fire. Who is telling the truth? They both are if the building’s on fire.
        • AA is for people who want it and do it. Not for people who get forced into it.

         

        • Grieving is hard especially amongst the greedy.
        • The acceptance phase of grieving is very positive. You were only remember the good things like the memory a good vacation. You remember the surfing in Baja, but not the diarrhea. 
        • I rarely let a woman move in and live with me. I know women like security, but so do I!
        • Tough love isn’t about hitting someone. It’s about refusing to help, not bailing them out, depleting all resources and shelter, letting the go with love and starving them Into submission. It’s better than violence.
        • The government residential living for the mentally ill has a ten year review process. They’re self-run.
        • Don’t go in to your past. Think about how you’re homeless today.
        • 6 years of college and I’m still unemployed. All the classes the classes all taught Obama was in office. I like him but he made it sound like, and the teachers made it sound like we’re we going to get jobs right after graduation. Somebody should sue them. At least we got healthcare.
        • My new book, Have You Taken Your Meds? has been suddenly removed from my blog. I don’t know if they took it down because it was too long or if it was declared obscene.
        • I think you may have watched some already and maybe got offended. Understand that is not my intention. I am a true artist of many platforms, in comedy and writing I find a necessity to exercise and challenge my 1st amendment constitutional freedoms. My purpose of art is not to offend, but to capture what I see, in this case, the story of my life. If I don't have that, I have nothing to share. DAN JOYCE HAVEYOUTAKENYOURMEDSMEME.COM
        • He’s challenging the first amendment! When isn’t he?
        • It’s hard to pass the censorship of social media these days. The left gets offended by everything and the right want’s everything family oriented I say, Fuck you! I don’t care about your kids!
        • There are other ways you can attain good mental health without medication. You can watch your diet, you can exercise, maintain a healthy regiment, positive thinking and positive friends, rise and shine early, avoid carbohydrates, a productive work pattern, thrifty budgeting, practice assertiveness, positive communication, discern heathy relationships with significant others, take a course at the local college,  work on your cognitive reasoning skills and keep boundaries from toxic people. But I figured that was too complicated. I just take the pills.
        • We are the poor, we are the homeless…
        • In the history of our nation, many men have fought for this country and lost. Likewise man men have fought against this country and lost. Today I intend to fight both sides and win!
        • Hey! Remember me? We relapsed in AA and spent three days together at the US Festival. I don’t remember you. That was a great concert. Yeah. Cool story. You should share it in a meeting.

         

        • Sobriety is more than not drinking. It’s measured by the quality of life. You’re making mine miserable.

         

        • Richard Ramirez entered people’s homes to kill then and left the logo of the band AC/DC on their walls. The band was believed to have worshipped the devil and were blamed for the murders. But let’s look at this the other way around. What kind of music do you think a serial killer would listen to? The Monkees?

         

        • We are not a glum lot. Actually we have a lot of fun in AA. One time we went to the mountains and they read us the big book a lot.

         

        • It was actually not that boring. They had plays about AA, groups, lectures, individual counseling late into the night and of course meetings. It was a lot like therapy, but it cost over $200. So, they made money off it.

         

        • I don’t want to drink and I make the effort not to, but I don’t worry about it. If it happens it happens. Kind of like an unplanned pregnancy.

         

        • What should I wear? Does this look good on me? It takes so long for me to get ready for me to go anywhere. I think the estrogen’s kicking in.
        • I’m going to have to give notice. As far as my disability, you handled that extremely well, professionally, legally and confidentially. To follow up, I have two part-time jobs lined up I I won’t be working as a professional designer. I’m 56 years old. I lost the dream of the good career a long time ago. Kind of like the dream of the good wife, but she was nice. Oh yeah, sometimes when you leave a company like this you’re not allowed to  come back in the store. At least, those are usually the terms they give me. I’ll be in town for the rest of the month and I’d still like to buy my soda and cigarettes.
        • I’m gonna get a job, I’m not stupid. Think I’m gonna paint on the corner and expect to pay rent? With a hat and ask people for money? With a gun...

         

        • The therapist helped my by talking over what happened in jail. I was upset about it for a few days. Now it went away and I don't really think about it. I also wrote about my life. That was hard. I'm beginning to accept and move past things. I am hoping the new place will be better. He said I have no positive memories of my past and wanted me to think of some. I've been thinking some up. I'm hoping to remember more and make some new ones. That is mental health treatment. He has to leave the clinic and is recommending me to the next counselor.
        • A positive memory of my past was when I sold all those paintings in the gallery. I felt on top of the world.
        • I’m not driving the car I bought, because it scares me. When I don’t know how to use something, it scares me. Like in art school. Like in art school, we had drills, we had wood, we had power saws and I had fingers. I got help with the assignment.
        • Ok, this is a writers group amateur and professional. What are your prices to edit this? I gotta take a lot of stuff out before I get sued. Don't worry I'll pay for your attorney too. Let's just hope the book does well.     
        • This is LSD. Your art is gonna take on a whole new direction.
        • I want to be normal and do what normal people do. No, you don’t want to do what normal people do. I’ll tell you what normal people do. Normal people wake up, have coffee, go to work, eat a packed lunch, get off late, go home, say prayers and have dinner, then sit on the couch, relax and watch movies about people like us.
        • You gotta laugh at yourself. ‘Cause if you don’t laugh at yourself, how ya gonna get anybody else to?
        • I’m leaving the God argument out of this, because I don’t think cults really deal with God.

         

        • November 18, 1978 909 people including 304 children died in Jonestown, Guyana in a mass murder suicide led by their spiritual leader Jim Jones. Since then, no laws were passed to regulate cult activity unless they break an ordinary law. In America, we have freedom of religion, but they may be bothered by what I say.
        • Where’s the Kool-Aid?

         

        • Don’t listen to him, he’s insane. Nothing. He says can be true.

         

        • Mom, I want you to stay out of my medical and psychological treatment. I know all those years you were trying to help but it further messed me up. You can’t be involved in my treatment or or. Medical issues. Listening to you and everybody else’s advice, the doctor only messed up the broth. That’s why there’s only one client and one doctor for a reason. We don’t know everything. You don’t ‘tell a surgeon how to do his job, you don’t tell a brain scientist and you definitely don’t get access to the nuclear codes. Everybody ruined everything with good intentions, like the road to hell and I don’t want you to go there. I want you here with me, mom.

         

        • Hi, I have tattoos all over my face from being in prison and I like you Dan.
        • Chapter 3 – More About Jenifer…
        • I’m his wife and I do AA panels in correctional facilities. It helps to show a little skin.
        • She was the best entertainment a boring meeting ever had.
        • She was a woman that liked to be looked at, the best kind and you know she had to be good looking, because nobody likes to be looked at for being ugly.
        • Coveting thy neighbor’s wife. Check that on the list. One more commandment to go, murder!
        • I’m not a racist. I despise racism in all forms and practices. Until I realized I am white, and I can make money off it.
        • Don’t mess with my people Dan!
        • No! No you listen to me! Sean is my people and you better respect that ‘cause I don’t have a lot of them
        • I did go to anger management, they say some really cool things. Don’t escalate, count to three, leave the room, stay away from the steak knives…
        • One day in jail I saw an empty circle of chairs. So I sat on one of them and a black guy sat on another and then another black guy and even another. Not racist, but I did get nervous. I said, “Well you guys have something planned so I’ll just get going now.” A big one stood up and yelled “WHY?” Then the whole group showed up and one who seemed in charge started passing around church literature. Oh, I thought, a bible study.  I can do this. The service started and they all sang church songs really well with harmonies, backups and rhythms. Jesus is very popular in jail because when you haven’t been sentenced and you don’t know when you’re gonna get out and you’re around pathological dangerous people and you can’t get out. For some reason, you just wanna talk to God. We read the verses and I talked about them cause I know the Bible and I’m pretty smart. They really liked my input and thought I gave a good interpretation of the book of John than the ones they were used to. They asked me to come back so I did. Every day we sang and talked and read the bible and fellowshipped and looked mean. They gave me a commitment. After the Bible study they would all pray and say a word and do that football thing with our hands and arms. I got pick the word. Although I learned through trial and error, words like love and relationship didn’t go over well. They helped me out with food and writing materials. I shared my jokes with them and they laughed. We all became pals and they welcomed me into their group. I was like an affiliate. I became an honorary member of the black guys gang. Which was good to have around. When I was released, I just wanted to get the hell out of there. They all met me at the gate and asked why I didn’t say goodbye. I told them because I was in a hurry. They all said they really liked having me in the intensive jail and asked if we could meetup on the outs and where could they find me. I told them to look on the internet. I’m all over that damn thing. I wasn’t raised with blacks in my neighborhood. We were all religious and the Christians kicked them out. So I found a taste of a culture that was really nice. People are people some are kind some are charitable some are really hot and some are just plain mean. My pals in jail were really not that bad and if they every go on the internet and find me, I’d like to pray with them again. Too proud! Too strong!
        • The mark of the renaissance began when Italian artist, Filippo Brunelleschi invented linear perspective seeing world from our own visual perspective. No one had really done that as well as him. Using straight lines and mathematics you calculate a three dimensional image on the two dimensional canvas plane. But Brunelleschi fucked up in that he taught us to see the wor;d from only one point of view, our own. Picasso changed that but everyone freaked out.
        • I made a friend in the mental institution. We didn’t really talk to each other much, mostly to ourselves. He was a young man with bright red hair and fearing for his freedom.  I remember the girls liked him. He didn’t do well on the outside and became homeless. On a mistaken call the police showed up and six physically cops ruthlessly  beat him death. It was the most brutal thing the city had ever seen. The people of Fullerton  protested and charged the cops with murder. they were later declared not guilty. It’s hard to convict cops on anything. They know. The city mourned. Sometimes it can be a crime just to be crazy.
        • Yeah, my mother’s pretty. She really was when she was younger. Then we had our differences, she got the house, I got homeless…

         

        • In LA, I became an extra in the movies and TV for about two years. All you need is an ID, no background check thank God. The sets were everywhere and hard to find and I had no car, I’d take a bus, carpool, practice my backstroke and never showed up late or missed a day. I never joined the extras union, because there was none. We were lowest on the totem pole. Everyone wanted to be famous, but I didn’t know how to act, on the set either. Some friends taught me method acting. They were poor too. Agency The agency wanted us to call ourselves background artists, because extra was an actor’s slur. But that just sounded like I was painting the set. There were a lot of young, beautiful actresses from all over the world hoping to be discovered. I didn’t discover them, but the directors did.
        • Are you in the movie? Do you have a line? Yes, you have beautiful eyes.
        • Life is like a box of crushed nuts.
        • On a call, I got to have a conversation with Leslie Neilson. The guy who does all the comedy movies a straight face. I made him laugh. It looked funny. 
        • I get star struck easily. So, I don’t want to watch your play.

         

        • Mom had a restraining order and another guy from AA who tried to help me commit suicide with a gun. I don’t know why that’s not illegal. Probably something the NRA pushed. I should’ve counted the bullets in the gun.

         

        • You can’t get work when you’re homeless, you have no clothes, no way to get there if it’s far… There’s only one job I can get.  Where? On the corner of Santa Monica Blvd. there’s opening for a prostitute. It won’t work. I can’t do it, no! Yeah, you’re not good looking enough.
        • We want you to write all your resentments, your fears and your sexual experiences . That doesn’t sound right, why is my sex life included?. YOU WANT TO STAY SOBER DON’T YOU? TAKE DIRECTION? We want details. 
        • A suggestion is a subtle command. If jump out of a plane, I suggest you use a parachute. What if I suggest you jump off a. bridge because I do it?

         

        • Friendship
        • I saw my childhood friend today.
        • People are touchy. We lose friends, coworkers, relatives, husbands, wives over seemingly petty things and we never talk to them again. With our modern social media we block, blast, unfriend, send to junk mail or voicemail. In extreme cases there may even be a restraining order. In today’s technology, we have more ways to lose a friend than we have to make one. What was good then is now gone.
        • When I was a boy in grammar school, I made strong friendships, friendships that have lasted to this day. We grew together and formed our thoughts on politics, religion and philosophy, we did our chores and developed our work ethic. We established our academic goals, developed our talents and chose what our careers would be.  We decided what girls were pretty and who we thought would be right for each other. These principles have held with me to this day and neither those nor my friendship ever left me.  We founded strong meaningful ties that were to last a lifetime, and back then, the only requirement for those strong meaningful lifetime friendships was that we lived on the same block. It’s sad what we grow out of. 

         

        • When I was a kid, the teachers didn't think I was a good artist because I didn't work within the lines. They didn't understand what I was doing. I'd play with the colors, the harmonies, the shapes, the composition, the texture, the design, the rhythms, the brush strokes, the emotional content, the feeling, the music of abstraction, the statement, the theme... and they wanted me to put all that In a box.
        • After jail, I had a friend in a boarding home He had cerebral paulsy. He was In a wheelchair and used to crawl around on the floor
        • Then worked he worked as dj on the radio
        • We didn’t get along, so I took singing lessons.

         

        • Then after I hit bottom from my wife threatening to leave, a successful business, a master’s degree at UCLA, a two story House on the hill, a wonderful wife that I didn’t know before and four beautiful children and I owe it all to AA, the 12 steps and my parent’s trust fund. If you want what I got, you’ve got my number. 
        • It is illegal for you you to physically force me out in a rental agreement. The police said, if you do that again to call them. They probably told you that
        • I want to talk to my sister.
        • She doesn’t want to talk to you
        • The last time I seriously drank was about six years ago through AA. I take my meds see a therapist, go to groups and see my doctor. I call my sponsor daily. Right now I’m going to the Clinic to get my medicine and see a counselor. The medicine ran out when the pharmacy didn’t mail them. I had to wait to get them.
        • I got lonely with Jenny. I know Pomona is far, but come out anyway. It’s great, it’s fun. We got a iHop.
        • Jenny has been threatening to give me notice. I want a written agreement. The police said if she tries to force me out physically again to videotape her and Call them. No she’s not my girlfriend. She’s not my type.
        • This is not just my mother. She’s getting coached. The fact that I’m in a crisis situation and no not one of seven siblings is answering the phone because they all happen to all be busy. We went out of town for the day. Tell me they’re not hiding something. Have you taken your meds? 
        • Everybody wants me homeless, my family wants me homeless. Because I’m good at it. I panhandle, play guitar, put out a hat…
        • I'm not going to a board and care or a sober living. It's just the same thing only homeless doesn't bleed you for money.

         

        • State Assemblywoman, I spoke to you years ago about an issue that was very important, the one issue most important to me. Now there’s two! Can you help me find a housing program?

         

        • Roger, I may be moving back in town. I have two jobs lined up so I won’t be asking you for a job. I’ll just come into Mo’s and ask you for money.
        • The Republican says he’ll give us jobs. The Democrat says he’ll get a job. I’m just looking for a job in my field. I have a good resume, got its all printed up at the social services.
        • Che Guevara was born of a rich political bourgeois family in 1926. During a motorcycle vacation his bike broke down and he was left stranded in South America amongst the poor and destitute learning their ways. After a long period of starving, he finally got his bike fixed and returned home. Inspired and enlightened he told the wealthy what he’d learned. They wouldn’t listen so he formed a communist political party and shot everybody.

         

        • You’re in the room with those other four. there’s 18 residents. Rent is $800. Do you get social security or GR? Provide your own food. Don’t touch nobody’s nothing and be respectful. We have one way of handling things around here. One slip or any rule broken and you’re on the street. Watch your meds. A lot of us just got out. We all go to AA and NA it’s a nice neighborhood.  
        • There’s nothing I can do. Let me talk to family. They own property. I’m going to be homeless I have two jobs lined up and a car. You can’t move in with me. It’s too hard. Mom I didn’t ask that. It will be moments before she gives notice. She’s not a girlfriend but she’s erratic. This is a madhouse. Not that the family wants me in one. Can’t you find a place through the clinic?
        • They’re filled with drugs and theft, the counselors even know. It’s for more acute cases. But they help Danny. I can pay rent if I’m not eating out of the garbage. Please, let me talk to the family on the phone. I won’t let you. They are mad and fighting it’s not a good idea. Mom, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re getting old. Enjoy church.

         

        • Look, I’m desperate and I need your help. If you were drawing and I was in a boat I would throw you a life raft. That’s just humanity I’ve always thought highly of you, you’re intelligent, diplomatic and a, a fighter, my strongest sibling and you’re my sister.  I’ve always thought you would be a good card in my pocket, but you’re not a card, you’re a person and I can’t predict you or play you like a card at all. But you’d make a good queen of hearts. And not the one from Alice in Wonderland either. Call me! I Don’t know if I’m gonna live through this.

         

        • She doesn’t want to talk to you. 

         

        • You're always drowning. I don't want to be bothered. Two weeks ago. You offered to find me a place to live. You offered to help me with my car insurance. Now you're taking that back. When it will harm me the most. I’m going to lose everything I’ve worked for. That's why the doctors are concerned. Mom.
        • I need to find a way to maintain food and rent. Right now, I'd better kiss up. Revenge comes in secret as I just keep writing. 
        • A lot of people have been watching as I've been posting my book. Waiting to hear back from publishers
        • When she was a girl and two people were in a fight or an argument. She would pick a side and fight it to the death. Didn’t matter which one. You want her in your corner.
        • I’m not worried about a strike on my record. It took me 50 years to commit a felony. No, it took them 50 years to catch you Dan Joyce
        • On a lot cheated grants, I went to Florence Italy on a study abroad program. I used to like to painting watercolor at the piazza square, iil was like an arty Italian mall, feeling like a genius and a master. I was emerced by being there and shout, I’m a Genius, I’m a master. The I looked below me and saw perfect cross-hatched ink drqwing intensely detailed, more than I could ever do. It was being drawn a seven-year-old girl. There’s always someone better. I’m not the best, I try to be the best I can be, entertaining and interesting, like a midnight talk show host.
        • There’s an old economic theory that if you do hard work for a long time, you make a lot of money. Course the slaves got screwed on that one.
        • It ain’t right!! You doing her like that! Come on! Seeing as I’m a lover and not a fighter. I’m not going to hit you. I’m just gonna keep on fucking your girlfriend.
        • I called her the mole. She was the rattiest girl in the institution. You couldn’t even understand what she said half the time. One night, I had a dream that I was getting a blowjob from Pamela Lee Anderson. I woke up and it was her. I just closed my eyes and went back to thinking about Bay Watch.

         

        • Two nurses jumped him. They were the size of Football players. He’s In his mid-sixties I think. When he hit the ground, he left a pool of blood the size of a dollar bill. I went to call you on the phone and the nurse stopped me to my bed in leather restraint.

         

        • Would you like a trial decided by me or jury. I remember what I said to you in the last trial. I choose a jury.
        • She’s going around calling all of us brotherman. Your girlfriend has to go! She’s not my girlfriend, she followed me from the psyche ward. I was there last week. We just go to the open mics and play guitar, she’s a good singer. She stays all night in your room. I don’t know how to tell you this, Dan. You’re girlfriend’s a hooker. She’s talented though.
        • Thanks to my unknown girlfriend, three of the blacks at the sober living beat me up, including one of the women.
        • As stated, after going to AA my drinking got bad. I was going to a lot of places, getting in trouble and bothering people. They started demanding that I quit. It’s a struggle though. You don’t just up and quit drinking, up and quit smoking or lose 300 pounds without liposuction. Then came hard drinking
        • Initially I include the sex scenes, but I left them out, they weren’t that good.
        • When the old-timer tried to tell you what he really meant in his share, he got hostile and threw you out of me car. After the meeting he held a group conscious without you. You’re schizophrenic. You are being removed from Nicotine Anonymous. We no longer care that you quit.
        • I don’t get writer’s block. Writing is like talking and I’ve got a lot to say.
        • I did the most drugs during my gangbanging days. I only remember the guns. Maybe I should join a gang through the NRA
        • I understand you took 127 vicotin in an effort to kill yourself and I understand you thought 127 vicotine would do it. What I don’t understand is this, why did you count them?
        • You are blacklisted by the gallery for being bipolar and writing about us too much.
        • When I first met Johnny Harris, the leader the Bellflower big book group, he immediately struck me as somebody my father wouldn’t want me to know.
        • You may not believe this, but there is good in the world. You just have to find it.
        • I remember every part of my life in detail, except when I joined a gang. Not because of the drug abuse, but that they hit me over the head so much.
        • It’s stream of conscious. You say it as you think it and you gotta be careful about that.
        • The visual outlay of the show and style of comedy are stream of conscious like Salvador Dali. He’s an amazing artist like Salvador Dali. He’s an amazing artist and it looks just like clocks melting. I’ve seen it.
        • Buy me a drink, I’ll go home with you.
        • “You were important, but we didn’t do much. We didn’t even, kiss, no swapping gum, no no restraining orders, carving our names in a tree…
        • Buy me a drink, I’ll go home with you.
        • I usually keep my romantic relationships to myself. And I keep my jobs secret. I don’t want anyone to know I have money.
        • I think most people are uncomfortable with my story, the abuse and the drug, not because it’s not family mater, but but sadly they can find something they relate to. Everyone has basicallly the same story. I jus got creative with it. I just got creative with it.
        • I think censorship gears to certain cultural motive. Like racism. It’s hard for me to avoid. I was racist in a racist society, a racist culture, so I had it right there with me growing up. That’s where it all started.
        • .
        • “It’s none of my business what other people think. What if they’re thinking it to everybody else behind your back?

         

         

        • You’r sitting there looking out the window. Why are you so sad? I’m sad about the leaves on the trees. Do you see the brown leaves on that tree? The dying leaves depress you? No, when I got here, they were green.

         

        • Hey IDIOT!!! It's me Dan!!! I'm on the internet telling you I'm sorry!!! I haven't heard from you. This is a video of me in my room alone MISSING YOU!!! You know the number! PICK UP THE PHONE!!! I'm Sorry

         

         

        • Until you stop taking medicine. You will always be a newcomer. Do I still get rides to and from the meetings, play softball in the park, eat ice creme, watch volleyball, cheese and cracker snacks, hot dogs, free hamburgers and hang outwith the guys? Yes. Ok I’m a newcomer. Sounds like you’re buying into it.

         

        • . Struggling as a fine artist, I lived on Venice Beach to make it big.

         

        • Well enough about me what do you think of me?

         

        • I’ve been in jail nearly two months and I’ve had a lot of time to think and a lot of time to write. I can see where I was wrong. You gave me that house residence in the goodness of your heart trying to make things better and hoping with optimism and faith. I, in turn, yelled at you and screamed from a hard life. You were really trying hard. I guess everyone can get upset every once in a while, but I shouldn’t have and too often. There are many to blame in a hard life, environment, society, etc… but inevitably the worst of which lies in one’s own. I love you mother for that effort unrecognized and the many others you’ve done.

         

        • It’s been nearly 50 days since I’ve been in jail paying already for what I have done. Initially things here went horrendously bad. The inmates found me extremely selfish, rude, disrespectful and even racial. They wanted to harm me or have me sent to a ward. Two men stepped in to help. One, whose name I can’t mention, was a head or at least high up in what the system showed to by the largest crime syndicate in North Orange County. He liked my writing, my art, my attitude and especially my honesty. The two men took me in their cell to babysit me. We got along well. Someone sent in a copy of one of my books and I became popular, because the inmates had never seen anything like that before. I went from jerk to the coolest guy in jail.
        • The gangster wanted to help with my case and advise me. He immediately saw I have to apologize and love you. He made this clear, because if a man so feared, notorious, ruthless, cold-hearted and cold-blooded as he could love his mother, so can I. He knew I would someday miss you as he discreetly described murdered family members he could never make peace with or say goodbye to. I love you mother and I’m sorry.

         

        • Your sister has her own family, home and career, she doesn’t want to be bothered, it’s not her responsibility to help you when you are homeless. Why does she have to help you? Morally, she should. I’m not good in that area either

         

         

        • Danny, I’m not immoral and definitely not evil. I go to the catholic church every morning, I read the bible, I say the rosary, I ask to send money. I just try to take care of you. You’re not well. You’re not like other people. You need someone to take care of your medicine. Your rooms are always dirty, you don’t get along with people. I’m just trying to help. You’re my baby. I’ve made arrangements and I want you to live with me. ”

         

        • No mom, I can’t live with you.”

         

        • “I can have the Mexican lady clean the house. She also cooks. We can get your medicine delivered from Walgreens the bubble pack is best, I can drive you to your clinic. What’s the name of that place?

         

        • No mom, we won’t get along. God knows what I would do to you. I didn’t tell you. I haven’t told anyone. Sometimes at around two in the morning in the middle of night, a on full moon, I grow hair all over my body and turn into a psycho killer.”

         

        • You always had the best sense of humor
        • I needed it to keep the bullies away and not beat me up.”

         

        • “It’s a nice thought, but no mom, I’m 56 years old. I don’t need to live with my mother. I don’t know anyone my age that does, except that one guy from elementary school who always peed his pants. He still does. If I live to be 100 and senile then maybe. But I can take care of myself. I have to go to anger management. God knows what I would do to you. I need to take care of you. Then don’t take everything away.

         

        • We’re having a family meeting, no politics no religion. No guns. But they go hand in hand.
        • Danny, don’t throw the food!
        • Your sister has come from up north. Be nice to her. I told her what you said about morals.
        • We’ve decided on this senior care for you. I think it’s perfect, you’ll love it.
        • It’s too expensive mom, we can just get an apartment.
        • Forget it then!
        • Mom, I’m not saying no.
        • I’m trying. They have a menu with lots of food and an exercise room, people to talk to and movies…
        • I understand mom.
        • I ran into Natalie again in a support group fresh out of jail. She wasn’t an alcoholic by their definition. We’d go out to clubs and she’d have a cocktail, just like dressing up and dancing. She did a small amount medical marijuana for her back pain. Her ex-husband was AA and used it against her constantly in court to win money from her and her child. So she hated AA. She’d try to get me to smoke pot with her, but I was on probation. That’s why she liked me, I’m an outlaw.
        • When I realized Alcoholics Anonymous had no way to enforce any of its rules or traditions, I started breaking them to fight back. I got good at Facebook.
        • I’m Tracy H. and my grandfather is the biggest alcoholic in AA. Would you look at these legs!
        • My granddaughter met a guy in a meeting and now he’s beating her.
        • Dan said in a meeting that he got Tracy pregnant and everyone looked at me.
        • When I was married to your sponsor, he took me for a few grand, Dan.
        • Nowhere in the big book does it use the word relapse. …followed always by a still worse relapse.
        • I got married again, raising the kids. What have you been up to Dan?
        • "Sweet Child O' Mine"

        • She's got a smile that it seems to me
          Reminds me of childhood memories
          Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky (Sky)
          Now and then when I see her face
          She takes me away to that special place
          And if I stared too long I'd probably break down and cry

          Whoa-oh-oh! Sweet child o' mine
          Whoa, oh-oh-oh! Sweet love of mine

          She's got eyes of the bluest skies
          As if they thought of rain
          I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain
          Her hair reminds me of a warm, safe place
          Where as a child I'd hide
          And pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by

          Whoa-oh-oh! Sweet child o' mine
          Ooh, oh-oh-oh! Sweet love of mine

          Oh yeah! Whoa-oh-oh-oh! Sweet child o' mine
          Ooh-oh, oh, oh! Sweet love of mine
          Whoa, oh-oh-oh! Sweet child o' mine, ooh yeah
          Ooh! Sweet love of mine

          Where do we go?
          Where do we go now?
          Where do we go?
          Ooh, where do we go?
          Where do we go now?
          Oh, where do we go now?
          Where do we go? (Sweet child)
          Ooh, where do we go now?
          Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay
          Where do we go now? Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, wow
          Where do we go?
          Oh, where do we go now?
          Oh, where do we go?
          Where do we go now?
          Where do we go?
          Ooh, where do we go now?
          Now, now, now, now, now, now, now
          Sweet child, sweet child o' mine
        • The lawyer kicked me out of AA mom. I don’t want anything to do with him. How much he take from you mom? The Alano of AA won’t do anything about it, should I name names? You know I’m getting up in the years. It’s a family disease. One more thing sweetheart, we’re getting up there, Hope you have a nice retirement. We’re not gonna.
        • The reason the businessman and the mental patient can both be correct if they say the building on fire. It’s a basic logical fallacy, you are mistaking the person with the claim, because the truth is the truth no matter who says it. That's good writing, should I show it to my lawyer?
        • So I was thinking, should I be a Bleeding Deacon or an Elder Statesman? I think you’re a dumb thug.
        • That was said in a meeting
        • Having this bipolar can sometimes feel like a better thing. I mean, really good. You feel like people feel on their wedding day and you get that feeling often. You can feel so remarkable and brilliant. But it’s also a curse. You can’t hide it. People can tell and it makes people scared of you. Mom, dad, my family, everyone. They get scared of me and I’m not one to want to make people scared of me. I want to go out in the world and be their friend. Like Caspar..

         

        • It's not an obsessive body thing that makes someone drink compulsively. If you’re in AA it’s definitely psychological. They got you thinking about it all the time, like a Christian thinks about Jesus all the time. Only they have you thinking about booze. And that’s gonna help you?
        • You know mom, I think you were absolutely right. I never was an ugly kid. I just had some women break my heart.
        • Ok, here’s the problem Prince Charming. You have a girlfriend. She’s beautiful, drop dead gorgeous, hot. She’s wealthy, her family is wealthy, her stocks are climing and she’s filthy rich. But you actually like her for her, you love her, the time you spend, you laugh, same interests, you know each other to a tee, you have an understanding. Everybody thinks your shallow, because you’re walking around with your trophy girlfriend and you wonder yourself. It’s almost a detriment for her to have those attributes. You and her both know you’re in love. But are you still going to have sex with her and spend some of that money? You’d be a fool not to!
        • You spell it out yourself. You had too many kids and you paid the price for it. We paid the price too. We didn’t get the hardship you had, but we were a good second place. I don’t think I got it more than the others, but I think my sister got a lot. She doesn’t really talk about but sometimes she does and I don’t blame her. She doesn’t want to relive it. She doesn’t want to dwell upon it, and she doesn’t want to get smacked upside the head!
        • Ok mom, you wanted me to get mental health. Mental health is not just taking medicine and not smoking pot. Those are important. But you wanted me to get therapy and I wanted you out of it, because of the past, and I wanted to do it. This is what I learned from it. The conviction was not from smoking pot, it’s not known to do that, and I was taking medicine so you can rule that out. After a lot of sessions, we concluded it was good old anger. It had been building up for a long time and it got too extreme. My college dreams were shattered and I was losing everything. I tried to contact the family for help and the phones just rang. We’d been fighting for years. My situation had no way out and the smallest match on the gasoline went boom. Bricks fly through the windows.
        • Think of it like a steam kettle boiling water. The lid is off and it just boils, al lot of steam that’s all. Say there’s a hole in the lid like a tea pot and some goes out and whistles. But what happens if the lid and the pot have no room to vent. It blows over and this can be a problem. Understand? Look at my little brother and my older sister. They get mad yell sometimes maybe, but they let a little out. This is called venting. It’s uncomfortable, but OK. Oldest sis, other little brother? Exercise, one of the healthiest things you can do. Older brother, behind your back, that’s called passive-aggressive. Baby brother holds it in, turns it against himself, tears him up probably the worst thing you can do. You and I are steam pots with the lid tightly closed. Much like a bomb. When it builds up we break sometimes hospitals, maybe violent. That’s just what happens to you. When it happens to me, the whole fucking city knows.
        • Can’t you just move past all that? I don’t want to analyze everything. You wanted me to go to therapy mom.
        • They’ve got a men’s meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and once a year they go out to the desert to teach the new men how to use guns. Perfectly safe.
        • Yes, they talk about guns, but they made it sound more like a hobby.

         

        • Your honor, he called me at three in the morning and said he wanted to commit suicide, so I offered him a gun.

         

        • Joyce, you are to say away from Danny Bower two hundred feet at all times. You are however allowed to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous where he attends and you may share.
        • Oh, we’re gonna have some fun!

         

        • He’s a terrific member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Wonderful family man, Rich Career, beautiful daughter, third wife, tried to kill me with a gun. Legally got away with it. Now I’m being convicted for it. I want everything he’s got! Thank you for letting me share! Pray for him Dan!

         

        • Pray that he gets everything you would want. What would that thug do with an arti gallery?
        • They showed up at my parent’s house, they show up at my work, they showed up at my gym, they found me in an undisclosed apartment with a security code on the door. Anonymity is an amazing thing. They can find you anywhere!
        • You have to have respect for an alcoholic like you have respect for a gun, but we’re not a dangerous cult.
        • Officer I’m being stalked, threatened and they said they got guns. Just go back to AA. You’ll do better when you quit drinking.
        • What do you think about gun laws? I have no opinion on outside issues. So whatever we do with our guns outside the meetings is ok.

         

        • Isn't there somewhere I can report this in AA and do something about it. Actually not, there are no AA police. But there are plenty of AA criminals.
        • So I have to make amends to him, but he has no remorse and he tried to use a gun on me? You disturbed the meeting.
        • Are you lonely and depressed? Do you drink often by yourself or with lower company? Has a bottle become your biggest companion? Call Veronica! 1-800-976-4FUN

         

        • After 2 years of shenanigans going back and forth with this now old timer asshole, I called to resolve, he turned me in. He’d bitch slapped me with his own spiritual steps. I was sentenced to cutting weeds with a ho. I pictured every weed was his head
        • That’s one of the things I do . When I get mad I go on social media and attack the whole city. When don’t need that kind of technology and we definitely don’t need a gun shop.
        • It’s hard advertising my art projects on social media. It has to be family oriented. Not everything is family oriented. I, for one, am not family oriented. Sorry! Don’t invite me to your Easter egg hunt! I don’t want to go!
        • Mom says I blame a lot. I don’t understand. Maybe accuse or poke at?
        • The common ideology of any addiction is an outdated theory that you think about it a lot and your body makes you do it. How can your body make you have beer? My body makes me hungry, my body makes me have sex, but how does my body make me go to the bar and have a beer? That would explain singles bars.
        • AA has a 5% success rate. Sounds crazy, but I’ve seen it. Those 5% really turn their lives around.
        • You can live with me Danny. Thanks mom.
        • Why didn’t you discuss the jail rape with the first therapist? She was really good looking. She wanted me to talk about it right away. I felt it wasn’t right to bring up sex on the first session.
        • Don’t you have any positive memories of your life? So I wrote pages and pages and pages trying to find one.
        • Your baby brother has a sensitive condition. When people say mean things, he feels like he’s being punched in the stomach. I’m like that too. When people hit me in the stomach, it really feels like I’m getting hit.
        • I got news for you, you’re not going to the bar just to see her. She’s not into you and you’re not into her. You’re in love, but with the mirrors, the shiny bottles, the piano player, the barstool. That’s who you’re in love with.
        • This is LSD. Your art is about to take a whole new direction.
        • It’s been 20 years since you’ve drank or done drugs. It can’t be affecting you anymore. All that stuff has let your system.by now. Any questions? Yeah, can I get a refill?
        • How do you like having a show in the colony? It’s great! It’s like a huge party, people drink, socialize, make friends, sometimes women, express my art freely. People find out you’re mentally ill and they don’t want anything to do with you.
        • Congressman, what do you think about having a behavioral services clinic in our city? We used to have one, but someone reallocated the money.
        • You’re a good role model for my 15 year-old daughter.
        • I had sex with my boyfriend and we smoked pot.

         

        • You gave Christine a beer???

         

         

        • I’m taking Christine to the movies.

         

        • Are you gonna get a red convertible sports car too?

         

        • Christine, I didn’t know you relapsed. Why didn’t you call?
        • Because we were getting high! Why would we want you around?

         

         

        • Then one day, I met the love of my life. She was bold she was beautiful. she was bipolar like me.
        • Most of these people who commit those atrocities aren’t from mental illness. It’s evil. I know I don’t believe in God, but I can’t deny there’s evil in the world. Look at history, read the paper, watch TV. Spy on your neighbors. We have an evil problem.
        • I write, I paint, do arty stuff because I want to be famous mom. I want to.be in the papers, on tv, in the newspapers, read about me in school, talk on the internet. I want people to know I was here. I don’t want be tossed off hidden in society sending messages in a bottle. I want to be like a rock star. But first, I gotta make some noise. Previous philosophers couldn’t do that without modern technology. I’m gonna carve my name in every rock in the cave. Og was here!
        • Why are you staring at me in my nighty? Because I’m male. What do you want me to be? A woman? Gay? Religious? Whatever you’re into?
        • She wanted a supportive group of friends, but she could only get men and she kept us around by coming on to us.
        • Michelle opened the door in her underwear, she likes me.
        • She crawled in my bed wearing Victoria’s Secret. I put my arm around her d she shouted, ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING?’ That woman was confused.
        • I took her to lunch one day at SIZZLER. Thinking she’d get the salad, she ordered lobster instead. It was so expensive, I nicknamed her Lobster Lunch.
        • I don’t drink, I’m scared of drinking, Just like I’m scared of my new car. That’s not good to be scared of your car. You don’t get anywhere that way.
        • I know you from AA and I know you from the music store. I don’t need AA but always I’ll need guitars. You know you can trade them for drugs. What did I do last night? And what happened to my guitar?
        • It’s like AA writing, but I try to show some answers. Like if you’re in a court trial to be committed, maybe take your meds, because AA isn’t going to show up in court to defend you. Your honor, he’s an alcoholic.
        • I have a support group to help you get out of AA and all the problems it caused you. We’re focusing on sex violations.
        • I’ve been in life skills group for eight months. When do I learn how to cook? 
        • Consider your husband alcoholic, he’s a sick person and treat them as such. Let him rest in bed, cook for him do the cleaning ,maybe get the better job. If he cheats on you, be understanding . Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book.
        • Can I smoke? Because if you want me to quit drinking, you’d think you’d want me to quit smoking too. Old timer Al Died today at the age of 52. Our beloved fellowship will always miss him. He helped so many young men.
        • You said something in a meeting that touched turning my life around forever. What was it? I don’t remember.
        • I went to school and did my homework. I went the therapy and got better, I did internships, even traveled over seas. AA didn’t do any of that, but now they want the credit. They just took my time and talked about God.
        • Pray to God and he will provide plentiful. I know, one time I tossed a penny in the well and I found a hundred-dollar bill.
        • The fact is that anybody can moderate their drinking, they just don’t want to and they are being told they can’t. One beer proves it. But AA will call me a newcomer. What if I have two? Bad things will happen?
        • I thought about what you fellas told me and was sure to be fine. Then I stopped by my favorite roadside burger stand. It occurred to me a beer with my burger wouldn’t be bad. So I had one. The experiment went so well I had another and another and another… About 10 or 20 beers and burgers later things got blurry. I can recall being in Tijuana selling heroin for a dangerous Columbian Cartel. Then I was in the back of a jet smoking weed with Snoop Dogg. Finally, it all came to an end in a Penthouse Apartment smoking meth while being tag-teamed by two Brazilian supermodels. You fellas sure know your stuff! Once have that first roadside burger beer, I don’t know what will happen.
        • Art is a lottery profession. It’s very much like gambling, you don’t know what you’ll get back so you take a chance. Entrepreneurs take risks all the time for the American dream. Maybe build a business or a good portfolio. They don’t know what’s gonna happen either. Like playing roulette, maybe you win something, maybe you lose something. You put your best stuff on the line and maybe some lesser stuff to see if anybody likes it, but it’s up to the people and you can’t control people. You can play no chips at all and never know what could have happened. You just wonder and go through life knowing that you never tried. Like the parable of the talents that Jesus said, and I think I’ve got some talent. Put it on number seven! Last show I sold enough paintings to buy a car.

         

        • You’re writing is like journaling. Yeah, but a little different. They say that’s the best thing for mental health. A good mom is too.

         

        • It’s not that I want to break the rules. It’s not that I want to follow the rules. Personally, I don’t care that there are rules.

         

        • Someone took what I said wrong that I was having a lot of sex. It got around. So got some pastels and started drawing some friends and running around with all these pretty women. I played a joke on the art colony.

         

        • B-B-B-B-B-B-Baxter

         

        • I=I=I=I W-W-W-Would B-B-Beat A-A-And K-K-K-Kill A C-C-Crazy M-M-M-Man M-M-M-Myself if I C-C-C-Could!

         

        • B-B-B-BLACKLIST!

         

        • I wear on others, drain them, exhaust them. So, I make friends with the imaginary people.

         

        • That was great! Here’s $200. Want a painting?

         

        • I don’t say prayers before I eat. I’m an atheist. I just thank evolution for putting me high on the food chain.

         

        • We wanted to help him hit rock bottom so we put him in jail and he got raped. That was going to happen anyway if he kept drinking. He's recovering now.

         

        • A guy gets drunk and drives kills two people. He gets a lawyer, beats prison, gets a court card and goes to AA. He doesn’t drink, but lives with what he has done. Prison is bad. But when prison is in your head, you can go insane.
        • The case was closed in 1942. He’s completed all the appropriate rehabilitation. Now he wants to turn himself in. What does he want us to do? Tar and feather.

         

        • Some tears are joyful
        • some tears are horrible
        • and some will just plain fall.
        • The right amount
        • of love and treatment
        • will help us heal them all.

         

         

        • Most world religions punish the crime. Christianity punishes the person.

         

         

         

        • The Sumaritan

         

        • I begged for life in the drowning sea
        • There they stood and looked at me
        • From Sumaria and Galilee
        • Of what the road had come to be

         

        • I sank deep in the dark cold sea
        • I cried for help unto the three
        • My fellow men from my country
        • Whoever shall come save me

         

        • The first he cared not of my state
        • And passed on by unto my fate
        • I felt a cold dark bitter hate
        • As soon my story could be late

         

        • I begged for life in the drowning sea
        • The first two came from Galilee
        • My friend now foe my land so great
        • They gave me not a second rate

         

        • I begged for life in the drowning sea
        • Until a man he came to me
        • From Sumaria and and rescued me
        • I thought he was my enemy
        • The Sumaritan was the man I know
        • The last I’d think to ever do so
        • Yet there he was to care my side
        • A man is a man who loves inside
        • I’m the psychologist. Do you have any questions?
        • How do you know if a woman loves you?
        • She tells you and she shows you.
        • She tells me she wants to marry me and she shows it.
        • What’s the problem?
        • Why aren’t we married?
        • I don’t know. Women are hard to understand.
        • Even for a psychologist.
        • As far as the crazy sex drive, I don’t know where it came from. I have six brothers and sisters. None of them have it.
        • I walked into a piano bar one day and I walked out ten years later.
        • The president was Bill Clinton, the TV show was Cheers and the bar was no less.
        • You come in here every night, seek me out and sit down next to me. People are wondering why you do this. Is that cabernet good?

         

        • It’s obvious why I do this. I love you Robin and I think you’re wonderful. I have a secret for you. What? I think you’re sexy. Ok, we’ll keep our relationship just to the bar.

         

        • Look Dan! Somebody has to break it to you. She’s not into you and whether you want to lie to yourself or not. You’re not into her. You’re in love with the shiny bottles, the mirror image, the piano music and the bar itself. There’s no future for you here. Unless you really do have nothing better to do with your life.

         

        • She didn’t want to date me because she’s five years older than me. Five years! Big deal! I like cougars.

         

        • Social media advertisement and data collecting is actually a terrific tool for targeting you customers as a small business. Say you have lemonade stand, you can search for people who are thirsty.

         

        • The art colony had a gay rights show, but they didn’t like my gay painting in it.
        • There’s not a gay bone in my body. I’m bisexual.

         

        • I love you, but you’re more into women than you are into me.
        • Being smart doesn’t make you gay, Robert. It makes you smart.
        • How do you know I’m not gay?
        • Well for one, you’ve had your eyes on every lesbian that’s entered the bar.

         

        • What exactly is hypersexuality?

         

        • Hypersexuality

         

        • It’s a game for you and me

         

        • So much fun for us to be

         

        • Or maybe we can make it three

         

        • What’s you’re problem with sex? Actually, I rather enjoy it.

         

        • Hi, I’m Dan Joyce. I’m a fine artist. Let me know if you want a painting. They look good in living rooms. But if you put it in your bedroom, make sure it’s a portrait of your wife!

         

        • You’re awesome

         

        • I want to take you on a date, Amy, but I don’t have a car.
        • I’m in Highland, come and get me!

         

        • I want to paint you in the nude.
        • Sure, just look on my website.

         

        • That was the action that hit me like a train. It didn’t scar me. It broke bones.

         

        • I want to stay out of the psychiatric unit. I love you but I can’t have you in my life.

         

        • I walked into a piano bar and walked out ten years later.

         

        • You come to this bar every night, seek me out, sit next to me and strike a conversation. People are wondering why you do that. Is that good cabernet?

         

        • There’s only one reason I do it. I love you Robin. I think your terrific. I have a secret. What? I think you’re sexy. Ok, we’ll keep this just to the bar.

         

        • I have beliefs, you have delusions

         

        • When I graduated college in 2008, the housing market collapsed. There were no jobs. Barack Obama was getting into office. He’s smart and I figured he’d fix it. I’d give him a year. One year later, we all had healthcare.
        • There’s an old-fashioned thing called an apology. Does our family do that? Oh Yeah! To the neighbors.
        • Mom, you’re gonna love me and your gonna like it! I’m tired of sitting in a bar complaining about you and meeting strange women.

         

        • I’m moving to a senior center. I’m gonna get on all their wills.

         

        • Can we listen to something else besides the abortion channel? maybe the 80s music.

         

        • You don’t have a God! Yeah, I do sometimes, but nobody knows him. I don’t bring him out in public.

         

        • I want to get married and have babies and have love. This is the first time we met don’t you think you’re going fast? OK will take it slow? I got to get up for work in the morning bye

         

        • Despite our lack of senses, I think I’ve concluded that crazy people live more fulfilling lives.

         

        • I know more than you because I have a better connection with God. In my wallet?

         

        • I was just being nice, and I don’t do that often.

         

        • The Jews killed Jesus. I thought the Romans did. You’re ignorant

         

        • This is a Christian house I’m Christian the dogs are Christian you’re going to be a Christian to. But I don’t believe… Give me $20. Why? Now!

         

        • God hates gays lesbians, transgenders, blacks and Jews. It’s in the Bible. That’s funny I never read that part.

         

        • You can’t get pregnant from rape. Babies are made from love.

         

        • THIS IS MY HOUSE! MY RULES! THE DOGS POOP ON THE FLOOR!

         

        • I’m moving out. You can have the house all to your husband you and your imaginary kids

         

        • What is this one? It’s called Nailin Palin. She’s convincing.

         

        • It’s innocent counselor I was just drawing the human figure and using playboy as a reference.

         

        • This swingers party is for couples only, we don’t want any creeps

         

        • What is the hardest part about drawing the nude figure? Getting her To take her clothes off

         

        • There are other things you can replace alcohol with like sex if it’s discreet and nobody knows.

         

        • Wear the really long dress that looks good on you. Danny are you up there?

         

        • Do you hear voices? No. Racing thoughts? mood swings? Do you talk to people you can’t see? I pray. Do you talk to God when you pray. Yes. Does God talk back? I don’t know is the food here good?

         

        • I’m getting the highest grade in your physics class do you think it something I could pursue? Do you have some ability. Wow you are a Tough teacher.

         

        • You should have heard the laughs I got when I told him I was raped by a man. I can’t do anything right. Next time I’m going into the women’s prison.

         

        • The family is trying to stop me from writing about them. An artist can’t do anything in this country. I’m taking a boat to Cuba.

         

        • Che Guevara was born of a rich political bourgeois family in 1926. During a motorcycle vacation his bike broke down and he was left stranded in South America amongst the poor and destitute learning their ways. After a long period of starving, he finally got his bike fixed and returned home. Inspired and enlightened he told the wealthy what he’d learned. They wouldn’t listen so he formed a political party and shot everybody.

         

        • I can't get it across to my psychiatrist. I don't know what it takes to get through to him. I could be a crazy maniac and still he wouldn't listen.

         

        • You know as young and beautiful as you are, I don’t think it’s a good idea to go jogging on the beach. I smoke too much.

         

        • Are you having any auditory symptoms? I hear the angels singing. Could be real angels, but I doubt it. I don’t believe in God.

         

        • You’re kicking me out on the spot!
        • Go back to your family!
        • What are they gonna do?
        • I’ll say important prayers.

         

        • She was a bad actress and a sloppy drunk. Watching her play degrading people with mental health issues made me feel like Langston Hughes watching a Mistrel show in a theatre full of white people.

         

        • That’s what I do. I blast people. It’s not like a compulsion. When I have a job I don’t do it. I just sometimes complain about the boss.

         

        • It used to be that the liberals fought for freedom of speech and the conservatives were stopping it. Now the conservatives want freedom of speech and the liberals are fighting it. I don’t know. Do we have freedom of the press in this country?

         

        • Who wants you to go to the behavioral hospital? My family and half of facebook.

         

        • I told him to walk my dogs four times a day. He wouldn't do it! I told him to give me $200! He called the police on me. I'm feeling scared...
        • Where is he now?
        • In his room listening...
        • It’s called a 5150. It’s supposed to be against your will but I signed a paper.

         

         

         

        • You don’t stand up for the mentally ill. You only stand up for yourself

         

        • So it didn’t start because I was kicked out. It happened then I was tricked out. I’ve been tracing it back. Half my family is scared.
        • You don’t need to go to the hospital. You wouldn’t hurt anyone!
        • Try me!

         

         

        • I was discharged today. I’m at the condo. The house is a fracking mess! Not my room however. I’m sending you a check for $500 late rent, you can prorate. I see the social worker tomorrow regarding possibilities for group homes. Still waiting to hear from the senior center. That is the best of all places. I’ve been through a lot with Jenny. I don’t know how you do it! I will be gone as soon as I can be. Believe me! I wouldn’t have it any other way
        • Insanity is not a medically diagnosed term. Imbecile is.

         

        • My girlfriend is coming by to visit.
        • You can't sit on the couch together. No kissing no touching!
        • I pay rent!
        • This is a Christian house!
        • Get a puppy!
        • I've got three!
        • You look at women like we’re a piece of meet. No, I don’t’ at all. Women are beautiful. Meat isn’t.

         

        • I was only given a crayon and paper to write with because they feared we’d hostile and patients would stab each other with a pen. I called patient’s rights and requested a pencil which is the law. She said I wish to go to the nurse’s station and get writing materials. The nurse Got hostile and fought me. I called her again.

         

        • They say if you fight the system you will always I am here because I lost. I am leaving because I won. Sign your discharge papers Dan

         

        • One who has suffered rape, domestic violence and/or child abuse and has overcome his or her trauma and difficulties is no longer referred to as a victim in term of modern psychology, but a survivor.

         

        • I want to explain what is happening with my sister and why fear makes me behave badly. My ex-girlfriend mailed in a book that I wrote and they were all impressed. They thought I was famous and gave me respect, respect is a highly honored word in there. They all gathered ‘round and I felt so important. I had never felt important or knew respect. They held a party for me with coffee and some drugs on a piece of paper called a Happy Card, it was either meth amphetamine or Fentynal. They were dealing it in my cell. I found the paper in my coffee. I didn’t connect what had happened. They gave me a lot. I didn’t know.  They gave me a tattoo, I still have it to this day, it reminds me every day. It was a strange and hallucinating feeling a numb euphoria. I lay in my bed and it happened. There was no violence. I was too drugged up but I remember. Like the Bill Cosby rapes. I don’t know how long it lasted maybe a while. I had forgotten until I was at the clinic and my younger brother said our baby brother was trying to reach me. The fear brought it back. I went in a rage and frenzy confused. At first, they didn’t believe me. Then I told them some of the details. The position on my stomach with my back in the air, the inability to resist. disgusting memory flashes of his penis. The uncomfortable feeling. I started wondering if I was gay. The clinic ordered a special therapist who works in jails. I told him I can’t forget it. It just comes back when I fight with the family. In horrible flashes of visions. I told him you and my sister showed no empathy. He said that may be pathology. I told him why I think they come around my family when they get mean. It’s a lot to pay for breaking two windows.  I didn’t want to tell you because I thought you wouldn’t think I was raped enough or there was no violence. I was held in there for a long time as my sister-in-law and mom pushed the charges further while he was my cellmate all this time. I asked him about the tattoo. He said what they did is called, grooming, something rapists do. Like a ritual. Date rapists and some other rapists do it too. Your lack of empathy scares me. Because I fear that you’ll do it again. I am more afraid of you, than I am of him. Because out here I am safe, he can’t get me, but I don’t know what will happen if you or my sister will put me in there again. And with two windows it doesn’t really take much for you to do it. You have already tried to do it when I stopped by to visit you or call my sister to say hi. And the flashes come to remind me similar to PTSD and I get upset and confused and do strange things. It is not treated with medicine but sometimes it is treated with communication and understanding. Two standard characteristics of love. I don’t expect you to do that, love that is. I don’t know what to tell my sister or what she will do. I pray she will not do it again, but that is why. Those two windows cost my a felony strike and a sexual violation. Seems a bit much. I have not dated nor felt comfortable making love to a woman since. I don’t really think I know what love is anymore. I am sorry I scared you or bothered you sister. I think the world. Please don’t put me in jail. I asked the therapist if the flash memories go away. He said that they become small and part of my story to share in confidence with people I trust. If you think that’s silly or dumb, it’s just what I’m doing to heal. Please let me.
        • The term PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was originally coined for the Vietnam Vets who saw horrible things in the war. Later they noticed 90% of cases occurred in women who were victims of domestic violence, rape and other forms of abuse. I somehow contracted it by being fucked in the ass!
        • Now for a poem by our Christian sisterisc – Jesus is hot!
        • Jesus is hot, with his sweat on the cross. Sharing his body and things that he taught Oh how I want jesus to lay by my side, all loving and naked with nothing to hide… That’s enough!
        • You can paint me brother Dan. Oh, I will!
        • I did a study abroad program in Italy. We all didn't know each other shared time and space until we really go to and bonded. Then after 3 weeks we parted and went our ways. It reminded me of rehab or a hospital stay.
        • I spent two weeks in a psyche hospital where mostly drug addicts and convicts came from jail to detox usually being admitted while stoned or destroyed from meth. They would look to whitewash their crimes by choosing drug court residential programs. In doing so they chose not to go to mental health programs because they didn’t want to have to take medicine, They were using every God damned thing else including paint. The drug counselors and staff were very good to them, because they also know the jails, the gangs, the territories and the drugs. The criminals could trust them.
        • Che Guevara was born of a rich political bourgeois family in 1926. During a motorcycle vacation his bike broke down and he was left stranded in South America amongst the poor and destitute learning their ways. After a long period of starving, he finally got his bike fixed and returned home. Inspired and enlightened he told the wealthy what he’d learned. They wouldn’t listen so he formed a political party and shot everybody. That's just history.

         

         

        • I saw money being exchanged too. From patients to staff and staff to patients, mostly ones with gang tattoos - LA dodgers, Anaheim Angels, etc...

         

        • Why do Christian Repbclicans like guns? Jesus didn’t have a gun, he could’ve used one.

         

        • Hi! We’re the Alanon panel
        • Fuck you! We drink! Do your stuff

         

        • Nobody is trying to steal your money
        • Nobody does a lot of things around here

         

        • Today is movie day. Let’s take a vote. Codependent No More, My Name is Bill W. or…
        • How ‘bout this one? It’s about a pirate that’s an alcoholic.”

         

        • I saw a photo of my mother on Facebook. She was trying hard to smile I saw the pain. The pain of course I caused the pain that came before me the pain for years to come. Her watered little girl trying not to tear and cry. A smile on a face desperate to escape. I try not to think about those things. So, I don’t!

         

        • Louis C.K. got busted by the me too movement, but all his women were consenting. They wanna do it too!
        • I have to write, I have to do what is for me what I have to do to be who I am and make a living for myself finally and not from everybody else. I’m not trying to but it’s going to hurt a little bit, mom. You know it hurt me, it hurt me emotionally, it hurt me physically you hurt me financially, legally, socially, my romantic life, it really hurt me psychologically, But I have to do this so that you and my brothers and sisters know to never do it again to the point of every waking hour I constantly dream of death and fulfill that walking to the corner store to buy Marlboro for the only relief. I know. It hurt me and it neither can nor should ever hurt anyone again. You are getting old approaching death and for the grace of God, I should and the Hell of torture should never be hurt again, not by a woman, not by a baseball coach, not by a Catholic school teacher, not even by those who I have seriously harmed myself, not nobody. I may be smart and logical, but I dream to the tears on my pillow that here is a God and that nobody ever gets hurt like that again. And if Ted Cruz gets Bernie Sanders get hurt losing their next election, oh well, there’s nothing I can do, it’s not the same fucking thing. AA taught me to be passive and to let people hurt me and hurt me more as though I was doing it, and by listening to their direction, I was and you to that tough loving. They said you coming ma and they stole your soul. We know hurt mom and we fucking should not. Amen.

         

        • Mom, we’re gonna change the world!

         

         

        • “HER DOGS ARE NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY!!!

         

        • Orange County Sheriff! Yes I’d like to report a crime that happened in County Jail roughly summer of 2015

         

        • What was the crime? Sexual violation and drug trafficking. He drugged me and he raped me like Bill Cosby.
        • Is there any way I can ensure my protection?

         

        • He used to read the NA book and ask me to define the big words. I don't know where he is now. Probation and parole will. I don't know the. statute of limitations on this

         

        • He was highly connected to underground and local crime. But they all thought he was too dumb, just big

         

        • one more good reason not to go to a meeting
        • I’ve been transferred to a department of the county jail. I really don’t like talking to the police ever. They tend to not listen and try to arrest me. Its also a well-known fact that in the Los Angeles area cops have no respect for snitches.

         

        • We’ve never seen anything like that ever happen in 12 step our spiritual programs. Keep that resentment between you and your sponsor.

         

        • What was your part in the jail rape Dan? Were you drinking? You said you were on drugs. And look at what you did to your parents. How many windows did you really have to break? You should make amends.

         

        • Congresswoman, I got on the phone and called the police. I'm reporting them I can remember specific descriptions and full names. I have to wait for sheriff to call back, they said he was out to lunch
        • I got on the phone and called the police. I'm reporting them I can remember specific descriptions and full name. I have to wait for sheriff to call back, they said he was out to lunch

         

        • you realize what I am doing is dangerous but kind of exciting. I ran into him once on Orangethorpe shortly after release. Seems like no one is believing me. I couldn't remember for 6 months then flashbacks slowly brought is all back, therapy as well. I have been documenting everything .They were trafficking drugs as well inside and outside the jail. Its weird how I forgot something like that, like the woman in the Kavanugh trial
        • I got a tattoo on my right shoulder than night. I don't can't stand to look at it
        • if you know of any legal resources so I can calm report to the police. I estimate this happened six years ago, I don't know the law on that
        • My therapist can testify my experience is valid
        • I've always asked you for help for a lot of things, but I think this one ices the cake

         

        • What are you guys filming?
        • The Sinbad show. Wanna be on tv? Sure, sign this.Ok.
        • What are you doing today?
        • This is my first day in Hollywood, I came to make it big.
        • Do you realize your zipper is down. Uh…
        • Cut! You’ll be on at 11:30 tonight. I can’t my home has a curfew. We gotta be in bed.
        • Oh maybe next time. I have a feeling I’m. gonna see a lot more of you.
        • Well at least I made it big.

         

        • Karen says I can create a good civil case, but I want criminal and tattoo removal
        • You sent
        • Yet so many more people make afraid to stand up and speak out
        • You were a little girl and I can understand that, but I’m 6’2’ and sometimes fat.
        • You sent
        • I'm gonna do this. I guess for more information I can call Karen

         

        • This got over 600 hits on YouTube in less than 2 hours. Still climbing
        • It links to my website to buy art
        • The art is good, but the pitch isn't
        • I want to do this!
        • You can teach me mostly over the internet
        • I will pay you and I will not stop singing
        • So, for the sake of me and others
        • I would like private singing lessons
        • Don’t know what you charge
        • Starting my new job soon
        • Had to quit the old one over moving
        • Running from the law again lo
        • Ok third shot at editing. This book is about my life and you have to be in it because you keep me alive by not strangling me
        • !
        • I need a piece of information to speak to the authorities so I can snitch on the jail rapist. By chance do you remember the month and day your mailed ine the book, Courage to change the things, to me in Theo Lacey? It’s important to document the time day and month of the rape
        • If you would like to offer any legal advice I willing fully listen
        • You can sue the jail and the City. It is there responsibility to keep you safe.
        • Daniel Joyce:.
        • What is the statute of limitation for this?
        • 6 years.
        • Luv u Karen you’re the best
        • Where can I find an attorney that hands this?
        • It says you can represent me, consignment. Draw up a contract baby
        • Don’t need an official lawyer
        • That would be you
        • I don’t know the law very well, just how to break it
        • Have you ever been jailed for an unlawful and constitutional plea bargain?
        • Were you doped and forced fermented rotten fruit?
        • Did anybody ever fuck you in the ass?
        • I’m Karen M. Hardy and I will fight for you!
        • KAREN GOT ME A SUMMER HOME ON THE BEACH, but I have no legs from the accident. Call Karen now!

         

        • Mom is scared that this is dangerous. I told her I’ve done a lot of dangerous things in my life. I live on the edge and smoke it away.

         

        • I"m taking a swan dive off the edge of life and into the cool cool water.
        • Describe the type of sex. Well there’s missionary. There’s cowgirl, There’s 69, There’s doggy style and now there’s Bill Cosby style.

         

        • I called the county jail at roughly 12:!5 this afternoon. They said they were out to lunch and never called back.

         

        • When I was about 5-7 years old, I caught a dirty blue gill fish at the park lake, later to be revealed a sewage dump. I came home and we put it in a fish tank. Mother cooked it up for dinner. The thing fucking stank. I took a small nibble and started to gag. Mom started to yell Eat It! I didn’t so she force fed it into my mouth and I gaged and threw up. She started screaming and shoving the fish down my throat. There was vomit everywhere. I never really ate fish again due to what appears t be a conditioned response. If friends, guests or hospitals ask, I tell them I’m allergic to seafood.

         

        • You have to do 100 pushups in front of me. The bus is pissed.
        • Why
        • You made fun of that Mexican’s tattoo.
        • It was only half finished
        • Don’t be a comedian here
        • Dude I cut gym class and workout ever since I got here, I can’t do three pushups. What are they going to do to me if I don’t do the pushups?
        • The whole gang is gonna beat you up.
        • What are they going to do to you if I don’t. the pushups?
        • They’ll beat me up.
        • Ok, if I were you I’d tell them I did the pushups.
        • Pinche Dan!
        • I’m a chiropractor, a doctor, I think we should see what happens if you go off your medicine. But first, I want you to paint me as a Greek goddess. How about Pandora?
        • My girlfriend’s a doctor. I called her and she said she was on a date. That shouldn’t be affecting your EKG like this.
        • Have you ever just tried to go off your meds and see what would happen? Well I was walking dow the street at night after buying cigarettes and… Have you ever seen Dr. Who? That was going on all over Victoria Blvd. that night!!!
        • I usually don’t talk about my sex life so openly. My partners tend to want to remain anonymous.
        • You’re 56. So you’ve seen double the world I’ve seen.
        • King Tut died at 19.

         

        • Group Support – Understanding Suicide
        • Chapter 4 – Your family and why they don’t want to be bothered

         

        • She’s wearing a record!
        • Yup! Name that tune!

         

        • Brave New Word is a book about a totalitarian system that controlled the population through use of sex and drugs. Sounds horrible!

         

        • Do you ever feel sad, isolated and alone? do you ever feel tense in traffic and realize you don’t know how to drive a car? Do things bounce around when you look at them? Do people talk to you when they aren’t even there? Are you obsessed with Jesus and the Bible? Do you ever think your more important than you are? Do you call your girlfriend twenty times a day? Do you ever think people are out to get you even when they really aren’t. You may be suffering a disease called

         

        • At Labritor we conducted a large intense series of tests on undocumented immigrants and came up with the perfect prescription. Ask your doctor about Chlozopine. If some reason you find don’t like Chlozopine, try something else. Chlozophine is a hedge fund investment pharmaceutical sedative pharmaceutical from your only friends at at Labritor Side effects may include sleeping all the time, hourly erections, loss of a job, compulsively watching for messages on TV, becoming the president, not being able to drive a car and poor social skill due to inability to talk and make sense.
        • God is good and God made everything. What about the devil?
        • The hospital has given me shots of abilify as well as lithium and trazodone I am more stable. Will be leaving soon.

         

        • I can’t relate to people who have never done alcohol or drugs.
        • I can’t relate to people who have never been psychotic.

         

        • Psychology is its own philosophy like religion. In that sense it can be frightening or heal.

         

        • The staff is usually large, threatening, young and hostile.

         

        • Are you copping an attitude?

         

        • I grew up with family calling me ugly. I had girlfriends call me ugly. I kicked them out of my bed.

         

        • Is meth like coffee?
        • It’s like 1000 cups of coffee! It’s super super uppers… It’s like… oh! It’s time for chemical dependency group, let’s get started.

         

        • When I was young, I boasted the hands of a surgeon. I used to draw with a magnifying glass. People had to look real close. Now they have to stand back!

         

        • The shift manager kept trying to cure my bipolar from withing the walls of the hot dog stand.

         

        • I couldn’t see the concerts, but I could hear them. Tom Petty was pretty good.

         

        • Do you have any hobbies?
        • Range shooting.

         

        • No matter what, always be aware of the moment.

         

        • You think I’m dumb because I don’t have a college education?
        • You did the math problem faster than me.
        • I can also count cards in Vegas.
        • Do tell!

         

        • Social Darwinism was a strange interpretation of evolution that allowed rich people to kill poor people. Now relabeled personal responsibility.

         

        • In Hockey they glide around the ice and beat each other up.

         

        • It’s easy to spot an irate customer at the stadium. They’re drunk and the Angels are losing.

         

        • The girls took me into the patio area with a fire where I could smoke and drink soda. I was in the VIP section of HOOTERS.

         

        • I got 5150
        • I got a 20 and some change and they put that in the safe.

         

        • I feel like I just went through a trying spiritual quest in the desert and saw a vision… Loony Horse!

         

        • If you can’t talk about it, you can’t treat it.

         

        • I talk about everything in my life whether my life liked it or not!

         

        • We’re the Alanon panel…
        • Fuck you! We drink! Do your stuff!

         

        • Do you know what is the best apology? A changed behavior.

         

        • The human brain has more neurotransmitters than stars in the universe. How many combinations is that? Is that even predictable?

         

        • Do you have thoughts of other people out to get your or trying to harm you?
        • What helps that?
        • Behaving better.

         

        • She wanted to marry me. I said no but stayed anyway.

         

        • Your auntie hit her kids too.

         

        • There’s hungry kids in Africa who have more food than you.

         

        • Let’s tell our deepest darkest secret. I sucked a cock.
        • I kinda thought you did.
        • The chemical dependency unit is coed. Do you have substance abuse issues?
        • All kinds.
        • She leans into the podium on one side,her eyes half mast, gives her speech with half a smile then speaks in a soft bedroom voice like a woman that’s about to sleep with you. Kamala Harris is the sexiest candidate for president.
        • She speaks with fire. She not only gets what needs to be done, but she takes on the people who shouldn’t be doing it.
        • Biden is boring 2024
        • It’s not that I don’t like you Mr. President, but you have to give a little song and dance. A teacher doesn’t just feed the information to his students, he has to entertain them, same with a boss or owner of a company. Entertainment is is the whole deal of traffic school, the cop that tells the jokes. I don’t know your hobbies or interests, but certainly you can come up with something. Maybe take Rumba lessons and go on Dancing with the Stars.
        • Sarah Palin is really hot, but kinda dumb. She’s a dumb brunette or redhead or whatever she dies her hair.
        • Alexandra Ocasio Cortez has a ton of fire and passion, but she’s a leftist radical, the fun kind.
        • Some people are opposed to all social programs in our government, the wealthy, the capitalists, the big business owners and the suckers that think they’re gonna get rich too.
        • America! Love it or leave it! Why don’t you? You’re the one that’s ruining it!
        • Pope Francis is a liberal and he’s taking the church in the wrong direction. Remember the good old days with Pope Benedict when we could beat up kids and rape them?
        • When I was a boy, Will Rogers could have been president just by telling his jokes. That’s a cool story grandpa.
        • I don’t have any structure or plan to this. I have some important topics and scenes. Then I just keep throwing stuff in. Ever have a lot of spices laying around while you’re making spaghetti
        • What’s her name? Karen. Karen what? Hardy. You know like hardihahar. She has a great sense of humor. That’s why you like her? No, she’s got big boobs.
        • One is meth. One is beer. They’re both a relapse. If you don’t know the difference between meth and beer, I ain’t going to your house party.

         

        • Patient’s rights – you have the right to wear your own clothes. Wow!

         

        • Laughing and crying down and up and… hmm… could be bipolar.
        • You think so Doc?

         

        • I have a bachelor’s degree. What did you get to get this job?
        • I have a license, two years.

         

        • You guys are acting like teenagers.
        • How should we be acting?
        • Mature and professional.

         

        • It’s writing the book that made me break. It’s writing about my family. Give me meds!
        • I’m moving as far away as I can from my 4th
        • You don’t want to go to the hospital. They got a room and they lock you in it.
        • Jail song

         

        • These chains that bind me will break apart.
        • These chains that bind me will break apart.

         

        • Mental hospital song
        • MEDS AND COOKIES AND MOVIES!
        • I’ve got an alcoholic family, a bottle and a kid somewhere.

         

        • People outside the psyche hospital aren’t gonna get our jokes.

         

        • Machugana – crazy like a fox. Because a fox will bite off his own leg to get out of a trap. They were gonna put me in a mental institution, I took parole.

         

        • I thought the counselor was Lady Gaga. It was better that way. She had more money.

         

        • I bet you did well with the ladies. I have to work for it.

         

        • There are people outside of here who all believe the same way, the ignorant ones.

         

        • I might migrate to LA because they got the good jobs there like movie star!

         

        • No! Angels aren’t really singing. I been hallucinating. No. I don’t want to see your bible.

         

        • There were no blacks in our sheltered community.
        • How’d you do that?

         

        • 50 virgins?
        • No, just one good one.

         

        • But she’s a virgin so you’re not gonna get anywhere.
        • Just someone to talk to.

         

        • What if I’m the return of the messiah? Nah, probably not. Keep me off my meds and…

         

        • You didn’t want to talk to me at first ‘cause I was bouncing around and going berserk? I thought it was because I was white.

         

        • How long has it been since you had a girlfriend?
        • Long enough to get a chip.

         

        • I like to make friends with everyone, especially at the titty bar.

         

        • If Christianity is racist, why are there so many black churches? Every been to one? They’re good at it.

         

        • A good joke has a message. Grandpa used to like Will Rogers. But grandpa owned property. I didn’t like him.

         

        • You’re supposed to do your 4th step with your sponsor. Not with everybody.
        • I did.
        • What happened?
        • Good old fashioned blackmail. I dished out some cash.

         

        • If you get punched in jail, you know why. If you get socked in the mental institution… They could try to explain it, but…

         

        • Come on Eileen…
        • I think he’s really in love with Eileen.
        • I think he wants to fuck Eileen.

         

        • Bill W. was a stock broker. We know nothing about his conservative politics.

         

        • Bill W. we need a good recovery program that saves people from hilicoholism and helps them go on with their lives. How about a cult?i

         

        • Med nurse? Something to zonk me out. I want a short evening.

         

        • You can hang out at the pizza store instead of AA and we’ll help you not drink.
        • That’s much better idea!
        • Hey guys! I got two years without a drink!
        • Another pizza!
        • Anyone can work for NASA if they set their mind to it and try hard enough. I date and I talk to these women I date. Nans, I’ve met a lot of women who are never gonna work for NASA.
        • I’m a MENSA member and a NASA physicist. That’s how I know politics and economics.
        • I’m opposed to gay marriage because there are so many laws in states and counties that would have to change. It would be too complicated. No! All they have to do is rule it in the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court is the big Kahuna of judges and courts. They gotta listen to them!
        • I believe in you and I believe in Karen. Don’t give up on her!
        • Even with your diagnosis, you can be really smart. It takes a NASA rocket scientist to figure that out!
        • I’m going to pay $350 for you to design and make brochures for your art. What if the paintings don’t sell. Well, you can at least make a mess with them when people leave them all over the floor at art galleries and coffeehouses.
        • Paint a portrait of my son and give it to him free. They’ll see you’re a good person. Can’t you at least pay for shipping Nans?
        • Your brother-in-law, Nan’s died of ALS. You can’t come to his funeral because of restraining orders.
        • The doctor says the alcohol has affected my short-term memory. Did we have sex tonight? No.
        • She wanted to watch a scary movie, so we watched The Exorcist. At the scary part, she screamed and grabbed me. Then I screamed and fell off the couch.
        • Then she came through the kitchen and just smacked me upside the head.
        • Conservative economic training is to beat you down and build yourself back up.
        • Why can’t we just build and not get beat?

         

        • Colonel Mustard with Miss Peacock in the billiard room.

         

        • Sammy, did you fuck my girlfriend?
        • I just was bringing some beer over.

         

        • After child services, the family was destroyed, separated. We couldn’t stop it. Much like a plantation worker. I lost my son and never saw her again.

         

        • We searched all the DMV records for Dan Joyce. My name is Daniel Joyce. They never found me.

         

        • I can’t get this beard off. When I was going around people were asking if I was homeless. So, I’d ask for change.

         

        • Do you need your meds administered orally?
        • Have a nurse do it.

         

        • I’m not going back to my hometown. They’re racist crazy.

         

        • History repeats itself.

         

        • After three days do I go to court? Cause I don’t do good in court. They look at me no good, because I’m crazy.

         

        • At the age of 21, everyone had parties and stopped inviting me. So, I just showed up.

         

        • Isn’t alcoholism a label too? No, it’s a behavior, different from psychiatric labels.

         

        • There were many great artists who made radical political statements, David, Picasso, Rivera and Rembrandt, but they ruined him.

         

        • I’m in love with her.
        • That’s Marylin Manson.

         

        • You seem like a person who won lots of awards.
        • I never won an award as an artist. I just draw.

         

        • She said she wasn’t gonna praise me, I should reward myself from within. She didn’t pay for the painting.

         

        • You blame everyone for everything.
        • And you just blame me.

         

        • For movie star singers, I like Jennifer Lopez. I don’t know which songs, but she is good!

         

        • My art is about Mental Health Awareness.

         

        • If you can walk the walk…

         

        • Bachelor’s in Graphic Design and Illustration, Associates in Business, Certificate in Computer Graphics, studied abroad in Italy. Mom decided I was too mentally ill to do it.
        • What about your job?
        • Grocery store. I took out the garbage, swept and cleaned the bathroom. I’m not saying I was held back.

         

        • Did your mom go to college?
        • No, she had a hard time with math.

         

        • The beauty of art is when someone comes along and they sees it and they’re moved and inspired and they give you money.

         

        • Most art gives perspective from only one point of view. Picasso made cubism to see from many points of view, but nobody liked it.

         

        • I’m writing a book called, Nothing, about being homeless.
        • Don’t make it too long.

         

        • I wrote this one in the mental institution, a combination of William Burroughs and Dr. Suess. It’s called, The Poemstory.

         

        • These are The War of the Soul and The Yin and the Yang. They contain all of the Psalms and The Tao Te Ching or you can skip them and just read the stories.
        • I wrote this one on the bus stop. I know it well.

         

        • The Courage to Change the Things I Can is about AA if they ever change.

         

        • JKAT was written in jail. They called me that.

         

        • Writing The Crazy Communist, Damion Lane and I got into a knife fight over the writing. In the history of poetry, I don’t think that’s ever happened before.

         

        • Turns out Bill Wilson was a chain smoker and a womanizer. Terrible guy.

         

        • He pulled out a gun and said, ‘Be cool!’ I gave him the 20’s the 10’s, 5’s and 1’s and all the change. The F.B.I. is still trying to figure out why I did that.

         

        • I don’t think you could harm anyone. Keep not thinking.

         

        • You have a high IQ?
        • 140
        • Mine is 135 before drugs.

         

        • I studied art, made no money, but had a rich and fulfilling life.

         

        • I got friends with benefits. In your days you called it, Bettie Sue from the glee club.

         

        • Diane Arbus photographed outcasts, developmentally disabled, gays, She had something going on with JoJo the dog-faced boy. Then came the 60’s. Now we’re moving backwards.

         

        • The Guerrilla Girls are a group of feminist graphic designers who wear monkey masks and pass out flyers saying things like, All the women in the Met Museum are naked! O.K. that’s why I like it!

         

        • With radical advances in art during the 20th century, there’s no excuse in saying you can’t be an artist. Yoko Ono makes stuff that you wouldn’t think is art at all, but she’s very good at it.

         

        • There are poor kids in China who don’t want that broccoli either.

         

        • if you need any witnesses to my breakdown, ask the district attorney.

         

        • Returning from Europe, Gertrude Stein showed the abstract art of Picasso to her friend Peggy Guggenheim. All of a sudden, we discovered Jackson Pollack.

         

        • In an effort to make a powerful feminist statement, Valerie Solanas shot openly gay Andy Warhol.

         

        • Chemical Dependency Counselors – Do you go to AA? Do they like the mentally ill? No, just the gangsters.

         

        • So what did you do? I called a guy gay. His fingers were painted like a chick. They sent me here from dual diagnosis.
        • That’s not even gay bashing. How’d you get to dual diagnosis?
        • They sent me there from jail. I stole an SUV Buick.
        • I got a Ford. I bought it selling art. Better way to do it. I don’t think you’re crazy. I think your just a bad criminal.

         

        • Dangerous is my name. Dan Joyce. Say it fast!

         

        • Live each day as though it were your last. You mean it isn’t?

         

        • I prefer Marlboro 100’s Black. They make you die faster!

         

        • The Byzantine Empire founded the first Christian churches. To decorate the churches, artists put paintings on the wall in egg tempera, subjects like Jesus, Mary and the apostles. Mislead people would come in and pray to the paintings, even leaving jewels and money. The Churches decided they wanted the money, so they banned art for 1000 years.

         

        • During a party of the papacy, a young boy died of lead poisoning after being painted as a gold angel. After the party ended a wealthy financier was placed into power as pope and declared the vicar of Christ.

         

        • Then Martin Luther led the Protestant reformation with his slogan, solo scriptura, only in the bible. Because art wasn’t in the bible, he banned it too.

         

        • The wine in the days of Christ was low alcohol to drink because they couldn’t purify water. The Egyptians made beer.

         

        • I’ll look at something and I’ll draw it. Then I’ll see details and I’ll see other stuff and I’ll draw and draw and draw…
        • You do meth?

         

        • I don’t know when she will break the love spell.
        • She breaks the love spell by breaking your heart.
        • Oh, I don’t need that.
        • Sorry, that’s the love spell.

         

        • Roughly 20,000 BC, man tamed the dog. Before we could read or write, before civilization or official language, dog was man’s best friend.

         

        • Dada artists and some existentialist philosophers made a logic of no logic. I’m sorry, but that makes no sense.

         

        • I don’t have to kill myself or live miserably on the lustrous revenge of others.

         

        • If there were doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers, why did Ratchet have the most power?

         

        • One summer break, I worked in a warehouse of a well-known evangelical preacher packaging ceramic eagles he gave with a donation of $5000. My job was to take off the sticker that said, Made in Mexico.

         

        • I was fired for wearing a white sweatshirt and shorts and showing too much skin.

         

        • My house! My rules! They dogs poop on the floor!

         

        • We’d like to schedule a family session.
        • HELL NO! THEY BREAK THE LAW!

         

        • Sometimes I’m afraid you’re gonna beat me up. Sometimes I’m afraid you’re gonna buy me coffee.

         

        • So we can’t make the movie?
        • Isn’t it a beautiful moon.

         

        • You always show up when I’m loud and taking shit, like a bouncer. ‘Enjoying your drink there?

         

        • Gimme a fist bump. You know what a fist bump means? It means you’re friends but you still want to hit each other.

         

        • Paternal love and maternal love are instinctive. I tried that once, but the only talent for parenthood we had was becoming them.

         

        • Would you read a book like that?
        • No!
        • What would you read? Don’t say X-men!

         

        • Norman Rockwell was not considered a master. He was considered an illustrator because he could draw.

         

        • If I’m not treated, meds, etc… I become a threat.
        • To who?
        • In the long run, me.

         

        • When I walk into work, all the women say hi to me. With all the sexual harassment policies, it makes me uncomfortable.

         

        • During covid, I was a hero worker. I took out the garbage, swept the floor…

         

        • It’s hard to imagine you can abuse a grown man, but imagine.

         

        • With computers, someday it won’t just be our thoughts we preserve. It will be us. Everlasting life, sacreligious.

         

        • She looks like a church girl.
        • She used to be a stripper.

         

        • I’m the leader and I don’t deserve anything I got.
        • I’m the leader’s assistant and I’m getting fucked by the leader.

         

        • I want to share something with you
        • Go ahead
        • This is called The Riddle of the Drunk Driver. A man gets drunk, goes driving kills two people. Gets a lawyer, goes to AA on a court card. Beats prison. Doesn’t drink, lives with what he did. They say prison is bad, but when hell is in your head you can go insane.
        • I want you to write about this. I want you to tell me how the drunk driver can get out of his own prison. I’ll expect it next week.

         

        • An annual annuity with a starting principle of $5000 and a monthly payment of $125 with 6% interest will reach roughly $100,000 in 10 years.
        • Ok set it up. If I’m not alive then, you are to hire a private detective to locate Shane Nicholas Acosta and leave it to him in a trust fund. If he asks who the money is from, simply say, his father, that is all.
        • Are you sure you want to do this?
        • Yes, more than ever.
        • I’ve always been able to hustle a dollar with my art. Having only a sketchpad and a guitar, I’d make it all around LA, from the beaches in Santa Monica to the Whisky a Go Go and the Sunset strip. When I’m in a gallery and the paintings are selling, it’s like Las Vegas watching the money come in. People mock me a starving artist, but they’re not laughing when the art is selling. They’re buying paintings.
        • My paintings really have little value to me, because I make them. I can always make another. To the man whose touch turns to gold, gold is of little value. With all that gold laying around, I’d get sick of gold. I’d start touching people I don’t like.
        • This big difference between artists and musicians is that musicians burn out when they’re young. Artists keep going when they’re dead.
        • The thing about hating people, is that there’s always something you like about them. That’s why I

         

        • How can you pray when you’re an atheist?
        • Even an atheist can be spiritual provided he has a set of principles to live by and adhere to. In most Eastern religions there is no God. They profess a way of life. Buddha never claimed to be God, western man interpreted him that way to be like Jesus. They made Buddha a God but no one told the Buddha.

         

        • Dennis Martel, you give crazy a bad name!

         

        • You argue one beer and your drunk. That’s ludicrous.

         

        • I got stoned, went back to the theatre, and closed up. It was an easy job.
        • You’re a lesbian and you get hotter women than I do.
        • Loriann, do you ever… boys?
        • Times have changed. I can’t go to a bar to meet someone anymore without being called a sexual predator and the women in Playboy have clothes on.
        • Do you think that kind of move towards sexual repression is healthy? Case in point, Catholic priests
        • We’re going back to the 50’s mom, all confined and conformed. You had a too many children than you could handle and a dominant husband who kept you in a box. You paid a price for that. I mean hanging out on the beach, playing guitar, smoking pot all the time and not getting a job has a price to pay too, but there’s a little less stress.
        • Have you ever loved anybody Danny?
        • Many
        • WHAT???
        • Many
        • MONEY???
        • MANY
        • MANNY???
        • WHO???
        • I love you mom.
        • I don’t know why she thought I’d never loved just because I never settled down and got married. In American culture, we’re taught to believe there is only one God, one you, one bible and one family. Ancient Greek mythology had many gods and goddesses. The Greeks had a lot of people.
        • Damion Lane was part German. Shephard part wolf. He was very loyal until the wolf came out.
        • I’m gonna break your kneecaps!
        • I wanna meet all your girlfriends.
        • We wanna meet Damion!
        • The interventionist closed your storage unit with $10,000 worth of equipment in it. We’re gonna have a garage sale.
        • They kicked Dan out of AA? Right on!
        • My name’s Oohnagh, I want to go to college. Oh, you will!
        • She’s slut, she’s a tramp! And you’re spiritual? s
        • I got a court card for alcoholism and domestic violence and I just got a date with the chip girl.
        • How do you expect to support my daughter on an artist’s income?
        • Tell her to get a job!
        • She stood me up on a date, so I nicknamed her Jenny the Pagan.
        • Life drawing is a study in which you get a model naked and you all paint her. I can’t explain the importance of this exercise, but I got real good at it.
        • I don’t get mental illness stigma at the school, I don’t get it at the church or at work, but at AA…
        • But they’re a bunch of drug addicts
        • Excuse me, is your name Robin?
        • Yes, why?
        • I’m Dan Joyce. I used to have a crush on you at the bar, Mulberry Street.
        • Yes, I remember you. I’m old now.
        • But not bad.!
        • My daughter is mad at me. I don’t know why.
        • I can’t say either… I have to go now. My date is waiting at the vegan shop.

         

        • You don’t want the painting. You picked that one out. I told you that you could have any painting in the gallery and you don’t want it! Mom, do you see why I’m dysfunctional?
        • Hi, I’m Dan and I’m an alcoholic, There’s a lot of controversy about identifying as an addict in AA. I’ve been to AA and Narcotics Anonymous for years and I’ll tell you they both belong here. For 90% of addicts, alcohol was the common denominator, a constant, Old Faithful. You know where to get it and you know what it’s going to do. With drugs, there’s so many to choose and they cut it so much… you don’t always know what it’s going to do. Sometimes you’re in for a big surprise and there goes the evening, the day or even the week. I relapsed for a few months five years ago and they’re still doing it, medical marijuana, WOW! I did not see that coming! Don’t do it!... but if you do decide to relapse, I got three words for you… the good stuff! Thank you for letting me share.
        • I’m Dan and I’m an alcoholic. For long time sobriety, you have to build a strong foundation. The foundation doesn’t come from how many steps you work, how good your sponsor is, the meetings, the book or helping others. It comes when you go to the convenience store to buy a soda and you pass by the beer section and you see the nice cold beer on a hot day with all the chilled cans. Then you think about how much fun you can have… and you grab the soda anyway. It’s not Dr. Bob who does it! It’s Dr. Pepper. No wonder the old-timers are so miserable. Thank you for letting me share!

         

        • Sorry for all the texts and flirting Donna. I'm just ornery sometimes. I like to be a chauvinist pig because it makes me special. Not just an ordinary pig!

         

        • I drank a lot of alcohol in bars and stuff, but I always got sick and barfed. I must be weird not liking to barf or the other guys don’t do it. Pot just settled my stomach and made me hungry. What’s wrong with that? That’s why they don’t have a Pot Anonymous. Nobody wants to quit!
        • I want to change the world so that people like me and everybody else gets along and likes each other. I didn’t compartmentalize myself and put myself in a box, everybody else did. I was just fine being mentally ill, but you didn’t have to notice.
        • There's talk that the colony will reopen. If so, are you still gonna ban me??? Warning note: I'll still be mentally ill. I can't seem to change that.\
        • I believe in equality, economic equality, racial equality, religious equality, sexual equality for LGBTQ as well. Everyone should be treated fair and equal in life, opportunities and freedoms. Except for one group of people… the mentally ill! LET’S FUCK THE MENTALLY ILL!!! - Jesse LaTour and The Fullerton Observer.
        • I stand for a cause you can’t understand, that you can never understand. Until you’ve walked in my shoes, or socks or flip flops or whatever the nurses are handing out.
        • AA is too black and white. You’re either sober or your dead. They don’t really give you much of a choice.
        • You’re my BBPFF – Best Bipolar Friends Forever.

         

        • Because You Make Me Happy

         

        • CHORDS G C D

         

        • Why do I have to be kind?
        • Would anybody mind
        • If I never loved again?
        • Why should I try?

         

        • Because you make me happy
        • You make my day
        • I’ve waited so long for you
        • To come around my way

         

        • Stanley
        • I know you hate my hat
        • And I know you love your cats
        • But I love you so much it’s true
        • What do you think about that?

         

        • Because you make me happy
        • You make my day
        • I’ve waited so long for you
        • To come around my way

         

        • Angel
        • I’ve been so afraid
        • To tell you how I fell
        • Sadness every day
        • Always was missing you

         

        • Because you make me happy
        • You make my day
        • I’ve waited so long for you
        • To come around my way

         

        • Stanley
        • What’s the use in thinking
        • That there’s really nothing to
        • Find our way to be happy
        • And happiness is you

         

        • Because you make me happy
        • You make my day
        • I’ve waited so long for you
        • To come around my way

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

        • You’re obsessed
        • I don’t believe in God anymore!
        • I relapsed
        • One part vodka, two parts grape juice and make amends.
        • I have big news to tell you. I love you Karen.
        • I know that, jackass! I’m going to need a drink.
        • No! you don’t need a drink!
        • I do! I’m an alcoholic once I start I can’t stop.”
        • You’re telling yourself that and you believe it
        • But in the program, they say you can’t…
        • The program is old, and outdated. It has a ton of problems with it. There is no disease of alcoholism. In fact, doctors don’t even call it that anymore, they call it substance use disorder. There is no black and white alcoholic or not. In fact, that’s harmful. There’s more of a spectrum, a grey scale. The program makes you convince yourself you can’t stop so you don’t and you are a prime example of that. Your head full of AA and belly full of wine is just killing you. I looked into some alternatives for you and I found something called The Freedom Model. It’s based on self-empowerment. It’s the new thing Karen and it’s catching on! They have a whole new approach, even successfully tried options for moderation. The alcohol doesn’t make you an alcoholic and the drugs don’t make you an addict. You do. Autonomy is the opposite of recovery. You have the power. You don’t need to make up your own higher power and think that’s gonna do it. You’ve had it all along and nothing nor nobody can take it from you.
        • Hmm…
        • I’ll get you a book and some literature, you liked that in AA. And I’m nervous to say this, but if you try this, you like it and it works for you. I’ll buy you a big ring and ask you to marry me…”
        • What??? (barf)
        • I’m homeless.
        • The Solution to the Drunk Driver Riddle
        • He needs to forgive himself and understand that others may never forgive him.
        • He needs to take action that this will never happen again.
        • He needs to accept that this will always be part of his story.
        • He needs to accept all reasonable consequences for what he has done.
        • Then he can continue on with his life and contribute to the lives of others.

         

        • Self-Forgiveness
        • We are human. We don’t just make mistakes, but the universe does as well.
        • One complete and total failure of evolution and intelligent design would be the Dodo bird. It’s completely incompetent and nearly incapable of survival.
        • We are always learning as conscious beings.
        • There is good in the world as there is evil. It is not our job to judge this for ourselves or others.
        • We are here for a reason to decide for ourselves.
        • The universe is imperfect and can never be perfect due to the clear and obvious presence of evil. God wouldn’t have done that. Gee! What can I create today that will bless and enlighten people? How about evil?
        • God is love... Yeah baby! Uh huh!
        • Things couldn’t have gone worse for me. I got caught on the social security welfare system, I’m trapped in a psychology and psychiatry circuit. I was beaten and abused as a child, I’m a Mexican and I don’t speak Spanish…
        • An annual annuity with a starting principle of $5000 and a monthly payment of $125 with 6% interest will reach roughly $100,000 in 10 years.
        • Ok set it up. If I’m not alive, you are to hire a private detective to locate Shane Nicholas Acosta and leave it to him in a trust fund. If he asks who the money is from, simply say, his father, that is all.
        • Are you sure you want to do this?
        • Yes, more than ever.
        • So, let’s say your son does drugs and gets a girl pregnant. So you force him to see a psychiatrist and go to a rehab. But what are they gonna to do to him? Believe me, I’ve been doing this for 30 years. It ain’t no better and the girl was good.

         

        • I think what he’s trying to say is that the young man would have done better had he married her and not got caught in the system. Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

         

        • I like people who’ve known me for a long time, Roger. Not because of what they know about me, but because they still put up with me in spite of it.

         

        • Eric Clapton, what are you doing here ? You liked my song. I loved that woman. I know.

         

        • I’m going to write a screenplay of this. Several short scenes for each joke and comment, then long scenes for the storyline. That’s never been done before. This is gonna be bigger than the Fosbury flop.

         

        • She stole money from your mother and went on a date with you?
        • Your girlfriend did?
        • She wasn’t into me. She calls sometimes. Bunch of them do.
        • You’re gonna be a lonely old man.
        • With a lot of memories.

         

        • What are you gonna do if you die and you find out you’re wrong, that there is a God?
        • I’m going to walk through the pearly gates, approach our Lord and savior right in the glorious face and say, What the Hell was that?
        • I read the life story of Thomas Kinkade. He was a man of God. Yeah, and my life story’s a kiss and tell.
        • Mom, I really feel that we’ve finally made a connection. You’ve made mistakes, but I have to. When all is said and done, you weren’t a good mother, but you weren’t a bad mother. You’re my mother.
        • Friday after the doctor comes, we’re having lunch at the Leisure World. The good one on the north side, not like the south side where they’re all snooty! It’s gonna be roast beef! That’s even better than the fish, salmon…
        • Mom, have you taken your meds?
        • This book has been illustrated as picture book for the abusive parents who are slow readers

         

         

         

         

         

         

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