We are often taught that when it comes to addiction, there is no middle ground. You can’t just have a small amount or one of something you’ve been addicted to. It’s all or nothing, they say—if you allow yourself one, it will lead to a full-blown relapse. This is the cognitive distortion known as All or Nothing Thinking, and it can be devastating.
Sure, being on the "nothing" side—where you quit entirely—can be great for your health. But the danger lies on the "all" side, where people are convinced that if they have even a little, they must have everything. This mindset is often fatal. It leads to overdoses, suicides, weight gain, and a cascade of unhealthy behaviors.
The message is clear: Someone has to speak up and say, “Moderate if you can, or at the very least, don’t believe you have to destroy your life because of a lie you’ve been told.” Programs like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) teach that moderation is impossible, that once you relapse, it’s over. This can drive people to extremes, believing they’ve failed completely if they slip up, making the situation far worse.
When I drank again after 18 years sober in AA, I saw this toxic mentality in action. I watched others spiral into despair, believing they couldn’t stop or moderate after that first drink. This realization was a great awakening to the lies I had been told in Alcoholics Anonymous. The biggest lie of all? That you can’t ever have "just one." I heard it again and again: “For me, I can’t have just one drink, drug, etc.” But is this true? Or is it another sick, cult-like form of groupthink?
All or Nothing Thinking doesn’t remove addiction; it feeds into it. When you’re taught to believe you have no control, that a single slip-up means total failure, you’re bound to fall harder. In reality, many people can find a balance—whether through moderation or simply by refusing to give in to catastrophic thinking when things don’t go perfectly.
If you're struggling with addiction, don't let cognitive distortions dictate your path. Find what works for you and remember, the mind has the power to break free from all-or-nothing traps.
by Dan and Bonkers
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