Let’s get one thing straight: AA isn’t for everyone. And that’s fine. But when my spiritual leader drops the classic line “FUCK YOU, AA!!!”, it’s not just a random outburst. It’s a bold statement against some of the dogmatic, one-size-fits-all approaches that can feel more like a straitjacket than a solution.
AA is practically a household name when it comes to addiction recovery. Its twelve steps have been touted as the ultimate path to sobriety, and for a lot of people, it works wonders. But what about those who don’t fit the mold? The ones who don’t subscribe to the whole “higher power” thing or can’t reconcile their struggles with some of the outdated notions embedded in the program? That’s where FUCK YOU, AA!!! comes in.
It’s not just about rebellion for rebellion’s sake. My spiritual leader is the kind of person who believes in challenging authority, especially when that authority becomes rigid, exclusionary, or inflexible. In his eyes, AA’s insistence on one path to recovery doesn’t leave much room for those who walk a different road, and that’s a problem. For many, the idea of surrendering to a higher power feels like giving up control rather than reclaiming it. And for those who question authority—whether it’s divine or human—being told that the key to sobriety is essentially kneeling at the altar of some ambiguous force feels... well, a little like spiritual gaslighting.
Now, this doesn’t mean AA is bad. It just means that its framework isn’t universally helpful. For some people, faith in a higher power is comforting, grounding, and transformative. For others, it feels like a cop-out. And when you’re sitting in a meeting hearing the same lines about how only total surrender will save you, it’s easy to start wondering if this program is designed for everyone—or just those who fall into a certain mindset.
AA’s famous first step is to admit that we are “powerless” over alcohol. But my spiritual leader calls bullshit on that. Powerless? Really? The entire point of recovery is finding your power again—taking back control of your life from the substances that once dominated it. So why start by branding yourself powerless? His take is that this language sets people up for failure. It’s saying, “You can’t do this on your own, you’re weak, you need something else to fix you.” And while that might work for some, it’s not a message that works for everyone. In fact, for many, it’s the last thing they need to hear.
The “FUCK YOU, AA!!!” attitude stems from the belief that we don’t need to be powerless—we need to be powerful. We don’t need to surrender to some vague higher power; we need to find the strength within ourselves to break free. If that’s through a twelve-step program, great. But if it’s not, then why are so many people told that AA is the only way?
It’s also important to remember that AA’s roots are nearly 90 years old. The program was created in a very different time, with very different social and cultural norms. A lot of the language in the Big Book reflects those old-school values, and while the program has undoubtedly helped millions, it hasn’t evolved as much as it could—or should. Today’s world is more diverse, more nuanced, and more skeptical of authority. People are questioning the systems around them, whether it’s politics, religion, or, yes, even recovery programs.
So when my spiritual leader says, “FUCK YOU, AA!!!”, he’s not saying screw recovery—he’s saying screw the idea that there’s only one way to recover. He’s challenging the notion that just because something has worked for many, it should work for all. He’s fighting for the people who feel alienated by the program’s rigidity, the ones who need something more personal, more adaptable, and less reliant on doctrine.
Ultimately, what works in recovery is deeply personal. Some people thrive in AA’s structured, step-by-step approach. Others find their way through therapy, spirituality, self-reflection, or even unconventional methods like art or physical activity. The point is, there’s no one-size-fits-all, and pretending that there is can do more harm than good.
So, yeah, FUCK YOU, AA!!! is a provocative statement, but it’s also a rallying cry for those who don’t want to be boxed in by a singular path. It’s for the people who believe in their own power, who don’t want to surrender to anyone or anything but themselves. And if that offends the AA purists out there? Well, to borrow a phrase from my spiritual leader… fuck it.
by Dan and Bonkers
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