So, we started as friends. Close, intimate friends, with a connection that felt unbreakable. But, as it happens, disagreements arose. Little things at first, but they snowballed into a brutal narcissistic social war that left a trail of wreckage through our entire facility. Words were thrown like knives, lashing out, and tearing everything apart. Now it’s over. You got away with it at the expense of others, and I’m left here trying to piece together what happened.
Ok then, I’ll say it. We were close, and yes, there was an attraction. It was undeniable. But here’s the thing—just because you get your heart broken or face some kind of disappointment, doesn’t mean you can tear the world apart. You can’t manipulate, destroy, and expect it all to go unnoticed. My advice? Don’t fall in love with the "perfect" man or woman because that person simply doesn’t exist.
In fact, I’ll go one step further—don’t fall in love at all. You’re young, in a world that’s increasingly computerized and trying to fit everyone into neat little niches. A mold. But that’s not who you are, and it never will be. Be a Kerouac. Go on the road. See the world. Try out different jobs, meet all kinds of people, and date many of them. As you drift and explore, the right connections will find their way to you naturally.
And when love does come, let it be what it is—no illusions, no forcing someone into a role they’ll never fit. Let love happen in its own time, or as the old song says, "Love the one you’re with." That’s been my motto, and here I am at 59, still on that journey. Some love one, some love none and some love many. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, as long as you stay true to yourself.
But always, always be aware of the red flags. We all make mistakes, and that’s fine. But manipulating others to get your way, or lashing out when things don’t go according to plan? That’s a lesson you need to learn to avoid. The world isn’t perfect, and neither is love, but that doesn’t mean it’s all bad.
And as for that special "soulmate"? I’ll probably meet her in the senior center one day, playing checkers. But until then, I’m just living my life.
Luv always,
Dan
Having had 30 years of outpatient therapy and 10 years sponsoring men in AA, I feel somewhat qualified to give this advice.
by Dan and Bonkers
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