Rent is expensive.
My website costs money.
My email newsletter costs money.
Adobe Creative Cloud costs money.
And somehow, despite all that, I’ve still been buying cigarettes—a pack at a time—from a guy in the house.
It adds up. It always adds up. And now? I’m running out of money.
The irony? I’ve got food, thanks to EBT. I’ve got ideas, art, goals, and a dream. But the nicotine monkey? Still hanging on, stealing my spare change and my peace of mind.
No one helps.
Tough Love tells them not to. “Let him fall.” “He has to want it.” “Let him hit bottom.”
Well, guess what? I’ve hit bottom, bounced, smoked a cigarette, and blogged about it on the way back down.
But here’s the thing—I do want it. I want to be free.
So when the money runs dry—and it will—I’m putting the patches back on. Not because I’m ready, but because I’m broke. Hey, motivation comes in many forms. Desperation is one of them.
I’ve done this before. I’ve quit before. I can do it again. This isn't my first rodeo, it’s just another round in a long and crazy dance with addiction.
Today’s Progress:
Working on the computer. Smoking less. Bracing myself for the shock of abstinence.
It’s not just about willpower. It’s about standing my ground in a world that doesn’t always offer a helping hand—just a tough one. But I’m tougher.
Catch you on the patch-side.
by Dan and Bonkers
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